Well, here’s a story that claims the 46-year-old leader of the Pussy Posse, Leonardo DiCaprio, has found “the one” in his 23-year-old model/actress girlfriend Camila Morrone as sources call her his “dream girl.” I guess after months of coronavirus lockdowns making 2020 seem like an endless time-loop Leo has convinced himself that Camila will stay 23 forever. Sorry, Leo, time doesn’t work like that.
Camila Morrone turned 23 on a yacht, which means she’s got two more years left in her before her 45-year-old boyfriend, Leonardo DiCaprio, realizes she’s aged out of his desired bracket and dumps her. Hopefully, Camila can convince him next year to celebrate her 23rd birthday again since 2020 is clearly a write-off. Then she’ll add a whole year to her DiCatchAHo shelf-life!
Close your eyes and focus. Really focus. Do you hear it? That soft, high pitched noise? It’s the sound of a million fetus-age models weeping. Because last night Leonardo DiCaprio made his awards show debut with his girlfriend, actress/model Camila Morrone. This is the first time he’s brought a romantic date to an awards show since Gisele Bundchen in 2005. It was very nice of Leonardo to give the tabloids a picture of him and Camila they can use in their coverage when he dumps her in a couple of years.
To show that I guess things really are ~gEttING sIRIus~ between her and 44-year-old Leonardo DiCaprio 22-year-old Camila Morrone posted a photo of Bogey and Bacall on Instagram with the caption “A love like this.” Pretty tame, but then then she decided to make the mistake of reading the comments (NEVER READ THE COMMENTS). People began mocking her for seemingly comparing the famed Hollywood couple to her and Leo. So she shot back at those who think Leo’s just a greasy, shallow cad who likes pottery more than commitment and that she’s a dummy obviously headed for heartbreak. Pretty accurate so far, haters.
It looks like Brad Pitt has found a new best friend, and it’s Leonardo DiCaprio. I bet Brad is out at the grocery store right now, buying tons of potato chips and 2L bottles of orange soda for a super-fun sleepover on Leo’s yacht this weekend. No parents, girls, or Lukas Haas allowed! Well, maybe “best friend” is exaggerating a bit. At the very least, The Sun claims that Brad’s got a new pottery buddy.
Could it be that Leo has finally caught his last ho? Us Weekly reports that Leonardo DiCaprio may finally be ready to settle down with his girlfriend of “more than a year” Camila Morrone. Now, don’t go making a bonfire out of your What’s Eating Gilbert Grape shrine or booking trips to Switzerland to partake in legal assisted suicide just yet. Camila could have another birthday before things get too serious. A source close to the couple say that “they’ve talked about getting engaged”, which means Camila’s brought it up, and her replacement hasn’t turned 18 yet.