Category: We Get It You Have Sex
The “Gossip Girl” HBO Max Reboot Has Threesomes And Bathhouses And Soft-Core Action, OH MY!
The Gossip Girl reboot is coming to HBO Max on July 8th, and since it’s going to be on HBO, they can up the pearl-clutching-factor and get ~ohsoscandalous~. And according to Page Six, they have and some people, who have seen early previews of the show, have said the show is trying too hard to be edgy and scandalous and some of the scenes are Skinemaxy. Well, the HBO Max feedback line better prepare to be hit with the sound of the four screeching voices behind Millions of Moms.
Open Post: Hosted By Sexy Valentine’s Day Kraft Dinner
Kraft is looking to get sexy this Valentine’s Day and is running a new Kraft Mac Is For Lovers campaign, which has me thinking, “The fuck?” Kraft’s new Big Bowl mac and cheese is apparently the perfect Valentine’s Day meal for couples with children they want to quickly feed and put to bed so they can hump each other in their locked bedrooms down the hall.
Suzanne Somers And Her Husband Get Shot Up With Peptides So They Can Sex On Each Other Twice A Day
Oh god, he’s totally poking it from behind in that pic, right? You dirty trollops, you’re at a charity event for children! Somebody turn the hose on those horny uncouth sluts!
After Suzanne Somers graciously celebrated her 73-year-old birthday by gifting us with the vision of her squatting naked in the wild on her property in Palm Springs, she told us that her husband of 42 years, 83-year-old Alan Hamel, took the pic. Well, now I also have the vision of Suzanne taking tweezers to Alan’s pepaw nalgas to pick out cactus pricks, which he got as she rode that dick on the dirt after he was overcome with horniness from seeing his wife’s naked body. Because according to Suzanne, fuck o’clock (or fuck ole’ cock) rings twice a day in their house and they have peptides to thank for that.