Category: Grimes
Grimes Says Her And Elon Musk’s 5-Month-Old Baby Is Into “Radical Art”
Remember a few months ago when Elon Musk and Grimes fused their cyborg genitals together and collaborated on a bionic baby? Then they named it X Æ A-12? And then they slightly changed it to X AE A-Xii? Well, get ready to feel as ancient as a decrepit old witch (Happy Halloween!), cuz that child is now old enough to have opinions, favorite films, and a blossoming career in robot music. In a new interview with the New York Times, Grimes says X AE A-Xii, who she calls X for short, is actually into some super cool shit. And she’s not just talking about the stuff in his Pampers. Continue reading
Elon Musk Has Opinions On Gender Pronouns––And So Does Grimes
Anytime I ever see a Tesla speeding down the street, I think to myself, “they’re kinda nice cars, I should get one someday” (Tesla would totally accept my proposed payment plan of $50/month over 10,000 years, right?) But then, as quickly as I begin fantasizing about my custom Hello Kitty plush interiors, I’m reminded that Elon Musk is a cartoon supervillain come to life. And yesterday, Elon must have been bored and decided to fuck with people, because he shared his unprovoked thoughts on gender pronouns. And you can pretty much guess how it went.
Kanye West Shows Us That 2020 Can Get Worse By Announcing He’s Running For President
Just when you thought the weighted blanket covered in dogshit that is 2020 couldn’t get any heavier, in comes Kanye West, the living, breathing embodiment of humility and grace to announce that he is running for President––just a few months before voting is set to take place. Oh yes, this is totally not a ploy to get his best friend Donald Trump re-elected. But when are we going to all find out that we died on January 1st and this is hell?
Elon Musk And Grimes’s Baby Finally Has A Legal Name
When Elon Musk and Grimes’ baby first entered this world a month ago, his parents gave him the name X Æ A-12 Musk. Then the state of California harshed Elon and Grimes’s cool parent vibe by having a little rule about naming your kid with letters and ligatures. So then it was revealed that his new name would be X Æ A-Xii, which was a bit more acceptable, but still not totally legal in the eyes of California. The Blast got their hands on a copy of Musk Baby’s birth certificate, and after an annoying amount of confusing updates from both his parents, he shall henceforth be known as: X AE A-Xii Musk.
Grimes Says There’s Been A Slight Change To Her Son’s Name
Elon Musk and Grimes attempted to seem very cool and smart by naming their son X Æ A-12 Musk. It wasn’t long before we learned that the state of California wasn’t about to let that happen, because you can’t use numbers in a name in California.
People magazine says that Grimes was asked about her son’s name on Instagram yesterday. Because it’s not technically legal for her 3-week-old son’s name to be what her and Elon cooked up one night in their king-size hyperbaric longevity chambers, people wanted to know if they were going to change it. They have and Grimes tweeted their baby’s new name. This also means it’s only a matter of time before Elon pops in and pulls some obnoxious, “Well, aCtUaLLyYyYy….”
Lilly Wachowski Spit At Elon Musk And Ivanka Trump For Using A Reference From “The Matrix”
As we know, Elon Musk regularly spouts ridiculously stupid shit. And yesterday he tweeted “Take the red pill” which wasn’t a reference to the fucked-up shit he took right before deciding to name his baby X Æ A-12. The “red pill” is obviously from The Matrix, and has been co-opted by the alt-right and men’s rights activists. Whispering mannequin Ivanka Trump loved it! But someone who didn’t love it was Lilly Wachowski, one of the brains who came up with the red pill, and she told the demonic duo of Musk & Trump to forget the red pill, they need to swallow a fuck instead.