Category: Grimes
Elon Musk Shared A Family Photo With Grimes Taken From Starbase, The City He’s Creating In Texas
Elon Musk’s plans to colonize Mars are well underway and he’s flexing those colonial muscles right here on earth by letting infant X Æ A-Xii lay his little alien eggs all over the unincorporated town of Boca Chica Village, Texas where SpaceX is headquartered and which Elon is planning to build up and rename Starbase, Texas. I know what you’re asking, what do X Æ A-Xii eggs look like? Surprisingly, just like regular old human baby shit. Kanye West, eat your heart out! That Wyoming urine garden is looking mighty pedestrian right about now.
Open Post: Hosted By The Viking Haircut That Grimes Tried To Give Her Son
Not even the cute but bizarrely-named baby of Grimes and billionaire Elon Musk can escape the grim realities of lockdown, among them amateur home haircuts. At this point, most of us are besties with our split ends, confide our most shameful secrets to them, and may or may not have given them feisty but approachable nicknames to call them before tucking them in at night. Don’t judge! Some of us are more prone to loneliness and all the weird shit that tags along with it.
Never one to back away from weird shit, Grimes fetched the scissors and decided to help 8-month-old son, X AE A-Xii (pronounced “X-Ash-A-Twelve,” and they had to remove the ligature “Æ” to make it legal for a California birth certificate) look like whatever she thinks a Viking looks like just months out of the delivery hatch. Fortunately, Little X, as she calls him, is blissfully clueless about his botched ‘do and among all the things he’ll be seeking therapy for in 18 years, this probably won’t be one of them.
Dave Chappelle Canceled The Remainder Of His Shows With Joe Rogan After Testing Positive For COVID-19
When Elon Musk fled from California to Texas last month, he didn’t waste any time immersing himself in the local color. Last week Elon on his alien progeny incubator Grimes hung out backstage at Stubb’s BBQ in Austin where Dave Chappelle and Joe Rogan have been headlining a multi-night residency. What a guest list, sounds like a blast, I know! But there was one party guest who got out of hand and rudely jumped down Dave’s throat. That guest was coronavirus, and now it’s taken up a residency inside Dave Chappelle. TMZ reports that Dave is so far asymptomatic, so let’s hope COVID resists the urge to perform Dave’s signature “fuck your couch” bit on his lungs.
The Internet Roasted Elon Musk After He Said Trans Pronouns Aren’t Aesthetically Pleasing
Elon Musk is a rocket scientist, which either means his brain is very smart, or his brain is working just hard enough to know how to keep other people hustling for him. But can you believe it, there is something that is just way beyond Elon’s scope of understanding, too far out of his mental grasp to comprehend. And that’s pronouns.
Back in July, Elon tweeted the #sobrave and #sobold statement that “pronouns suck,” a broad accusation with the flavor of transphobia and zero basis in fact or proof, unless you were looking for proof that Elon is king of the edgelords (to be fair, you don’t have to look that hard). Elon was never able to articulate exactly why he hated pronouns so much. But it sounds like the hamster running on the wheel in his head finally squeaked out something that resembled an argument for his tweet. Elon has once again tweeted about pronouns, and once again, the internet is dragging him for it.
Elon Musk Has Moved To Texas, But It’s Unclear If Grimes Went With Him
Elon Musk has decided that California is just too much for him, and so he’s moved to Texas. Elon and California had lots of issues over the past year, as they tried to shut down factories to make sure people didn’t die of coronavirus while he reopened them and was on Twitter saying the virus would be gone by April. So he went off to Texas. Meanwhile, the Internet is wondering: Where’s Grimes?
Grimes May Have Gotten A Grant From The Canadian Government Despite Living With Elon Musk, The Second Richest Man In The World
Grimes‘ image as an artsy-robot princess is really shifting into an artsy-corporate tyrant as she’s recently found herself embroiled in some drama involving Canadian tax dollars. She’s already defended her boyfriend Elon Musk’s right to block unions, and now Grimes may be pilfering from government programs too. She was listed as the recipient of an arts grant despite the fact she’s already a successful artist and is in a relationship with and has a child with the second richest man in the literal entire world, Elon Musk. Wow, you have one kid with a billionaire and immediately start stealing money from the taxpayers.