Category: Grimes
Elon Musk Has Reopened His Tesla Factory In California, Is Willing To Be Arrested Over It
Billionaire Elon Musk has bravely allowed his workers to get back to their jobs and risk getting infected with coronavirus. Yes, it seems like the genius billionaire is basically saying, “You should risk coronavirus to build the cars that keep me rich!”, but masquerading it as, “FREE AMERICA!” Elon reopened his factory in Alameda County and said he was ready to get arrested over it. Arrest him for that baby name, how about that?
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Elon Musk And Grimes Can’t Seem To Agree On How Their Son’s Name Is Pronounced
Earlier this week, Elon Musk announced that his partner Grimes had given birth to their child and revealed that they named their son X Æ A-12 Musk, a name which confused everyone but the state of California, who doesn’t allow names with numbers. When it comes to Elon and Grimes, it seems like the only thing they can agree on is how little X’s name should be spelled. The geniuses who thought up this name can’t even help us out with the correct pronunciation, because they both have a different way of saying it.
California Will Not Let Elon Musk And Grimes Name Their Baby X Æ A-12
This is also good news for doctor’s office nurses and teachers whose brains will throb with confusion while trying to say the name X Æ A-12 Musk before throwing up their hands and going, “Fuck it, I’m going to lunch early, I don’t need this!” Although, little Aeon Flux A24 Musk will probably never see the inside of a doctor’s office since his ills will be treated with moon water-dipped crystals applied to his body by a cyborg drone in a nurse’s hat. And he’ll never see the inside of a classroom since he’ll get his schooling from an Elon Musk hologram that will just repeat his tweets on a loop.
But the news here is that Elon Musk and Grimes will have to choose a new name that’ll let their newborn baby know that they already hate him. Because if they wrote X Æ A-12 down on their baby’s birth certificate, a California state official will throw the same “did I eat a ton of acid for lunch or is that name for real” look that Elon is throwing in the picture above before stamping DENIED on that shit.
Elon Musk Corrected Grimes’ Explanation Of The Origin Of X Æ A-12’s Name
As it was foretold, the mysteries of the universe have been explained to us from on high by a species of superior intellect, and with that elucidation comes the crushing realization that our puny minds are too weak and feeble to truly comprehend its significance. Even so, Grimes has deemed us worthy recipients of the key to deciphering the name of her child, X Æ A-12. The child’s mortal yet (allegedly) gifted father, Elon Musk (remember when Grimes told Azealia Banks he had a big dick and Azaelia said, no, your pussy just too small? I hope they have qualified child therapists on Mars), only corrected her on one small detail. Apparently space goth aliens, with all their great knowledge of the cosmos, still can’t tell the difference between SR-17 and SR-71 CIA reconnaissance jets. Cut her some slack, Elon. She’s not from around here!
Elon Musk’s New Baby Is Here, And Is Probably Already Looking Into A Legal Name Change
As expected, French Canadian music weirdo Grimes gave birth to her first child with Elon Musk, and the little future trust funder is a baby boy. It’s entirely too appropriate that Elon decided to wear a shirt that said OCCUPY MARS for the first time he met his new baby son. Because Elon recently revealed the name he and Grimes chose for their baby, and it sounds like they picked their name at random from a sub-orbital space shuttle instruction manual. You’re shocked, I’m sure!
Elon Musk Says That Grimes’ Due Date Is On Monday, And He Plans On Selling Almost All Of His Physical Possessions
Here I was thinking that pop weirdo Grimes was so hypnoti$$$ed by boyfriend Elon Musk and his brand of douchey, hi-tech, pot-scented fuckery that she’d never have a harsh word to say about him. But things have changed. Sometimes that happens when men open their mouths.
People is reporting that the Tesla CEO and anti-lockdown “activist”, spent some time in the doghouse (which is probably still worth about $10 million and has an indoor heated pool) after his girlfriend, who according to him, is due to birth out their Tesla baby on Monday, caught wind of his recent “take back America” tweetstorm.