Open Post: Hosted By The Return Of Taco Bell’s Mexican Pizza

The opportunities for catching something at Coachella are varied and plenty. And even if you weren’t there in person, you still might have caught the news that Taco Bell is finally bringing back my beloved Mexican Pizza. Yes, it’s incredible news, but Taco Bell is letting Doja Cat take all the credit for it, even though Dolly Parton did most of the heavy lifting (she’s got to hoist those puppies high just to get out of bed every morning, as physics demands). Dojo made the announcement that the Mexican Pizza will be returning to the TB menu next month, during her set at Coachella over the weekend. Look, I know Doja did a whole song about it, whereas Dolly barely mentioned her support in passing, but one word from Dolly’s lips is worth more than a million cheesy beef rhymes from Doja’s. But all’s well that ends well. Let Doja and Taco Bell have this one. Dolly doesn’t need to cheapen herself by pandering to brands, she’s cheap enough as it is!

Taco Bell removed the Mexican Pizza from their menus in November of 2020 citing that the move “would significantly cut down on packaging waste,” even though I told them that I would take care of it! But I guess me rolling through the kitchen every time I was on one, talking about “just make it on my hands, I don’t need a box, pleeeeeeeeease” wasn’t a compelling solution for them. Humph. But a Change.org petition with almost 200,000 signatures and a Doja Cat song later, they’ve finally relented and are giving me back my beloved. Now, I’m still not allowed within 30 feet of any Taco Bell location in North America, but that’s what wigs and fake mustaches are for! Food and Wine reports:

This morning, Taco Bell revealed that the Mexican Pizza will return on May 19, 2022 — though loyalty members will be able to score one early, starting on May 17.

Touching on the chain’s previous reasons for dropping the product, Taco Bell says changes have been made to the menu item behind the scenes: They’ve streamlined operations to keep kitchens moving quickly, altered their ingredient sourcing, and tweaked the packaging to leave a lighter footprint.

“Our menu is full of fan-favorites, but the Mexican Pizza is at the top of that list,” Mark King, Taco Bell’s CEO, stated in the announcement. “From its flashy introduction to menus in 1985 as ‘Pizzazz Pizza’ to its inspiration behind the creation of infamous jingles, Mexican Pizza has a long history with the brand and I’m glad we could give fans what they crave and bring our classic Mexican Pizza back home where it belongs.”

Here’s Doja getting paid while getting paid as “the voice of the Taco Bell people.” Yes, we’re a protected class now. Deal with it!

We finally did it, the Mexican Pizza is coming back on 5/19 @tacoBell pic.twitter.com/tc4aK4Z2Lj

— WE BROUGHT THE MEXICAN PIZZA BACK (@DojaCat) April 18, 2022

Doja is apparently still planning to quit the industry once all her current commitments are fulfilled, and if she does, this will be her greatest contribution to the struggle of our people. There’s an old Taco Bell fan saying “One cannot truly Live Mas unless one has Lived Sauced.” That’s as true today as it was in 1985 when they were, ever so problematically, calling it the “Pizzazz Pizza.” Times and sensitivities may have changed, but the Mexican Pizza is eternal.

Pic: Taco Bell via Instagram