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September 3, 2020 / Posted by:

Taco Bell’s Mexican Pizza!

It’s been at least 10 years since I’ve decided to make my bowels sing Annie Lennox’s Why by eating a Mexican Pizza from Taco Bell, but I still did a slow wall slide of sadness over the tragic news that 2020 has devoured that extremely authentic disc of Mexican gourmet-ness (and I hope 2020 gets the worst case of the wet shits for doing so). Because as toilets everywhere scream HALLELUJAH!, Taco Bell has announced that it has taken Mexican Pizza off of its menu.

Due to the coronavirus pandemic, there’s less kitchen staff and more drive-thru orders at Taco Bells. So last month, Taco Bell announced that they were streamlining their menu by pulling off a bunch of shit like Nachos Supreme, Spicy Potato Soft Taco, Cheesy Fiesta Potatoes, Spicy Tostada, and the 7-Layer Burrito. Apparently, doing so resulted in shorter wait times and happier customers. But they didn’t stop there. CNBC reports, that Taco Bell has sent the Grim Reaper after more items: shredded chicken (who cares!), pico de gallo (big deal!), and MEXICAN PIZZA. This one hurts like I just ate a Mexican Pizza.

The decision to take out that beautiful round butthole destroyer also had to do with sustainability issues.

Mexican Pizza, a fan favorite at the chain, is among the departing items. Taco Bell said that the packaging for the pizza accounted for more than 7 million pounds of paperboard annually in the U.S., so its departure will help the chain inch closer to its sustainability goals.

Taco Bell’s Mexican Pizza won’t be buried in the Taco Bell graveyard until November 5.

Mexican Pizza first made its Taco Bell debut in 1988. It’s made up of two crispy taco shells, beans, (insert whatever the hell kind of meat Taco Bell grounds up for their shit), cheese, tomatoes, and sour cream.

When I was a teenager, my regular Taco Bell order was a Mexican Pizza and Pintos N Cheese. Both are gone now, so it’s really the end of a stomach cramps era. And sure, I can make that mess at home myself, but it’d be much healthier, taste much better, and won’t make my butt growl before combusting. What’s the fun in that?!

Pic: Taco Bell

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