Category: Wilford Brimley

Open Post: Hosted By The McDonald’s Customer Who Threw A Bratty Tantrum And Blamed It On Low Blood Sugar

October 4, 2021 / Posted by:

File this under: Yet Another Thing That McDonald’s Employees Don’t Get Paid Enough To Deal With.

It’s another day, and we’ve got yet another entitled mess who doesn’t realize that lurking around every corner is someone with an iPhone who will record you and upload your messiness to social media, making you the kind of viral star you don’t want to be. At a McDonald’s in Arkansas, TikTok user @still.bad.decisions, recorded the moment when a customer farted out a hissy fit and knocked stuff over because her coffee was taking too long. And she blamed it on having diabetes. First of all, if you’ve got diabetes, you should not drink McDonald’s coffee since I’m pretty sure it’s coffee-flavored boiled corn syrup. Second of all, how are the employees going to rush to get her coffee out if they’re too busy cleaning up the mess she made?! They needed to add a heaping side of logic to go with her coffee.

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Wilford Brimley Has Died At 85

August 2, 2020 / Posted by:

Run to your kitchen now, pull out a carton of Quaker Oats, and then pour it out. Because Wilford Brimley, prolific actor, one of diabetes’ greatest nemesis, and the 80s and 90s King of Quaker Oats, died yesterday morning at a hospital in St. George, Utah. A rep for Wilford Brimley tells Deadline that he was in a bad way for a few days and was on dialysis.  He was 85.

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Open Post: Hosted By Wilford Brimley Warning Scientists Against Bringing A Mysterious Creature Back From The Antarctic

September 22, 2019 / Posted by:

Some pertinent facts about Wilford “Cocoon Daddy” Brimley, 84:

1) You might have heard he has the diabeetus.

2) He’s somehow never won an Emmy. And there are no plans to honor his body of work at tonight’s Emmy Awards. Which is a damn shame? Remember that show he had with Marlena from Days of Our Lives? THAT ALSO STARRED SHANNEN DOHERTY? Get them all Emmys. Fix your mistakes, Hollywood.

3) Wilford starred in John Carpenter’s The Thing which was about a group of scientists confronting a murderous life form at an Arctic research camp. And, judging by a tweet from Brimley about a certain Arctic creature story, he believes that The Thing is now non-fiction.

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