Frances Bean Cobain’s Ex Is Very Scared Of Courtney Love

What? No! How could anyone be afraid of Courtney Love? She’s just a sometimes-crazy, bad-with-money 52-year-old woman who does not play and hangs out with Sam Lutfi and okay I see it now. Run, Frances Bean Cobain’s ex, run!

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The Fight Over Kurt Cobain’s Guitar Has Gotten Messier

I’m sure you’re absolutely shocked that a situation involving semi-professional disaster Courtney Love has gotten messy. But if you can believe it, she’s not even the messiest part of this story; that honor goes to the one and only Sam Lutfi.

Last week it was reported that Frances Bean was fighting with her soon-to-be ex-husband Isaiah Silva over a guitar that was used by Kurt Cobain during Nirvana’s MTV Unplugged performance. Isaiah claims the guitar – which is estimated to be worth several million dollars – was a wedding gift from Frances to him. Frances claims she never gave it to him as a gift, and she wants it back. A judge will ultimately decide who gets the guitar, but Courtney Love’s good friend Sam Lutfi is doing everything he can to fix it in Frances’ favor.

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Frances Bean’s Ex-Husband Is Coming For Kurt’s Guitar

It’s time for everyone’s favorite game! Say it with me… I! Feel! OLD! (confetti drops, horns blow, etc). Today’s contestant is Frances Bean! Frances Bean, come on dooooowwwwnnn! Hi, Frances! Some facts for our viewers at home: Frances is 23, her father is the late Kurt Cobain of Nirvana, her mother is national treasure Courtney Love. Frances is recently divorced, and now Frances’s ex-husband is looking to take something very near and dear to the family away: Kurt’s guitar that he played on MTV Unplugged.

That’s right, the grunge queen baby we all remember is not only divorced, she’s going through a messy divorce. She and Isaiah Silva got married last year in a private ceremony that was so private even Courtney wasn’t there. They’d been together for five years prior to that, but eventually got divorced after 21 months of marriage. Seeing as Frances’s inheritance and Kurt’s estate is speculated to be in the neighborhood of $450 million, everyone was guessing that shit would get real nasty with Isaiah trying to grab a chunk of that. But his eyes seem more fixed on a different prize.

According to TMZ, Isaiah – who’s the lead in the band The Eeries – claims Frances gave him Kurt’s famous Martin D-18E guitar from his 1993 MTV Unplugged performance (which is also the last guitar Kurt ever played) as a wedding gift and now he wants to sashay away with it. Which makes sense: grungy musician types would rather walk around with Kurt’s guitar than a big pile of cash or a hefty monthly deposit.

In true Judge Judy fashion, TMZ says that Frances has denied ever giving Isaiah the guitar as a gift, and wants it back. The guitar was once insured for $1 million, but experts think it could be worth way more than that now.

There’s been talk that Frances is seeking to have her premarital assets awarded as separate property so she’s protected, but that she’s open to giving that charlatan spousal support. More importantly, TMZ has video of Courtney’s response to the news of Isaiah trying to take that guitar. Courtney says it’s not his to take. She also says the phrase “treasured family heirloom” approximately 15 times in the short clip. I agree with her on that. I’d also like to respond to Courtney by saying that, you, my dear, are a treasured family heirloom to the human family.

Pic: Splash

Apparently, You Can Get Kicked Out Of Coachella For Being “Too Drunk”

Page Six claims that Courtney Love was kicked out of the Neon Carnival on Saturday night for being “too” wasted. They could be right. I mean, look at that picture of Courtney Love. She must be on something if she’s standing there doing nothing as Ellie Goulding’s mouth is being attacked by two mutated silicone leeches! Do something, Courtney! Throw a compact at those evil things!

Courtney Love declared last year that she was Cracked Out Courtney no more and was sitting on the wagon with her seatbelt firmly attached. Courtney claimed that she was done with the sweet nectar, the good shit, the bad shit and the prescribed shit. She said that her current drug of choice is some “Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo” stuff because she’s a Buddhist now. But Page Six seems to think that Courtney fell face first off of the wagon and landed directly on a pile of hipster piss at a Coachella party.

After Courtney went to see fellow mess and one-time arch rival Axl Rose play with Guns ‘N Roses at Coachella, she went to the Neon Carnival held at a nearby airport. Page Six’s source says that Courtney got so wasted that they kicked her out of there.

“She went to Neon Carnival and got kicked out for being too drunk in the VIP area,” we’re told.

Another source at the party, which is held on an airport tarmac — and was attended by celebs including Leo DiCaprio, Rihanna and Kesha — said, “She was literally falling over. It just became a little too sloppy, and she was removed. She wasn’t coherent at all.”

Are they sure Courtney was boozing it up, because isn’t she incoherent and sloppy when she’s sober too? But honestly, I didn’t think it was possible to get kicked out of a Coochella event for being “too plastered.” That’s like being kicked out of the Gathering of the Juggalos for sucking dirty dick in a Port-A-Potty while butt chugging Faygo and moonshine. If this is true and you really can get kicked out of a Coachella party for being drunk, then that’s just cruel and unusual punishment. How else do the evil doers of that event expect you to deal with messes dressed like assholes. Case in point: Bella Thorne.

Pics: Instagram, Splash

On The Next Episode Of American Horror Story: Meth Lab…..

Saint Laurent’s show at The Hollywood Palladium in L.A. was last night and I guess the invitation read: Come dressed as a strung-out performer in Florida’s Meth Circus. I’m also guessing that Justin Bieber and Lady CaCa were the only ones who followed that dress code because DAMN. Gaga looks like a drunk, clingy auntie who is trying to relive her glory days by wearing one of her favorite outfits from the 80s and Justin Bieber looks like her messy teen nephew who is impatiently waiting for her to pass out into a drunken coma so he can go into her purse and steal enough money to buy a baggy of the bad shit.

If you’ve ever wondered what it would look like if Nancy Spungen played Susan in Desperately Seeking Susan, wonder no more. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Hmmm, I wonder what it would look like if Harpo Marx played Riff Raff, Columbia AND Magenta in a community theater production of Rocky Horror Picture Show?“, you don’t have to ask yourself that question anymore. Lady Gaga answered both of those questions at the Saint Laurent show last night when she showed up in a sequined blazer that screamed, “affordable Michael Jackson impersonator,” makeup that screamed, “cracked out Casper the Friendly Ghost,” and a wig that looked like a pile of uncooked curly fries.

Gaga, Justin Bieber and his struggle stache managed to achieve the impossible, though. They managed to be the messiest messes at an event that Courtney Love was at. Because when Courtney Love showed up looking clean and hot, I doubt the door person said to her, “Um, no loitering! No loitering,” like they did with the Biebs and Gaga.

So Gaga and Justin Bieber should give themselves a slow clap for that.

And here’s a million more pictures from last night’s show including some of the hotness personified that is the Kravitz family and American-Canadian fresh drew drop Pamela Anderson with her son Brandon Lee who used an entire jar of hair grease to give you “Young Elvis.”

Pics: Wenn.com, Splash

FYI: Courtney Love Is Totally Cool With This

Justin Bieber, the tiny tampon that was pulled out of Canada’s cooch and thrown into America, made Kurt Cobain fans scream, “BLASPHEMY,” while clutching their flannel shirts yesterday when he wore a really ugly Nirvana t-shirt to the American Music Awards. Nirvana fans tweeted about how Kurt Cobain’s ashes must be spinning in the air over this because the Biebs stands for everything he was against! Or something like that. The American Music Awards go against everything hardcore Nirvana fans believe in, so I’m sure they didn’t watch, but if they did, they would’ve probably said a prayer for Kurt Cobain’s ghost to electrocute the Biebs by turning on his mic as he danced in the rain during his performance.

Some Nirvana fans think Justin Bieber should be jailed for tainting the image of Kurt Cobain, but Courtney Love is totally cool with it.

You're cool in my book @justinbieber xc

— Courtney Love Cobain (@Courtney) November 23, 2015

Of course Cracked Out Courtney is cool with it. She gets life from inhaling the fumes that waft off of the boiling assholes of mad Nirvana fans. It’s her newest drug of choice.

I don’t think the Biebs wearing a Nirvana shirt is a big deal, but what is a big deal is that his stylists were probably trying to make him look like Christian Slater in Gleaming The Cube. Now that is offensive. I would pull out my pitchfork of rage over that, but I’m too busy shaking my head at myself. On Friday night, I was drunk and vulnerable (like usual) and I found myself downloading Justin Bieber’s new album. My iTunes crashed the next day and probably because it couldn’t look at me anymore. I need to set up parental controls drunk bitch controls on my computer so my wasted ass won’t make the mistake of downloading a Biebs album again.

Pics: Wenn.com