Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One Before: Andy Dick Was Arrested For Residential Burglary

October 20, 2022 / Posted by:

Semi-professional arrestee Andy Dick continues to give Ezra Miller a run for their money, and while The Flash currently has the lead (as in the lead role in a multi-million dollar super-hero franchise), Andy’s right behind their ass when it comes to getting arrested and charged with felony residential burglary. It’s been almost six months since Andy’s last arrest, and I had just about counted him out of the race. But he came through with a last-minute burst of energy that, according to TMZ, found him allegedly stealing power tools from the garage of a Santa Barbara, CA house that he appears to have been squatting in. Ezra now has 24 hours to respond. Scratch that; Ezra can actually take their time because Andy’s been in jail for an entire week waiting for someone to pay his bond. This would be the perfect opportunity for Warner Bros to swoop in and offer Andy a three-picture deal. Booster Gold, perhaps?

Andy was last arrested in May for sexual battery at the Orange County RV park he had been living at. The alleged incident took place in a neighboring RV; the aftermath of which was captured on a YouTube live-stream, as was Andy’s subsequent arrest. So no wonder he’s apparently decided to take the show on the road. Maybe Santa Barbara County was the last box on his County Jails of Southern California BINGO card. TMZ reports:

Andy Dick is facing a felony burglary charge in California after getting arrested yet again … this time cops say he was stealing power tools from someone’s garage.

The Santa Barbara Police Department tells TMZ … officers busted Andy on Oct. 13, after responding to a report of a burglary in progress at a home.

Andy had removed several power tools from a home under construction, according to cops … and they say they caught him red-handed trying to flee the property. The homeowner told police they don’t know Andy, and he definitely didn’t have permission to be there

Since then, the Santa Barbara County D.A. has charged Andy with first-degree residential burglary, and he’s pled not guilty — however, one week later, he’s still locked up.

Last week Andy posted a video tour on his alt Instagram of his “new house,” which appears to be a dilapidated duplex with stunning views. TMZ reports that Andy’s being represented in this case by a public defender who’s probably a bit too busy defending members of the public who never starred in a hit network show to advise Andy to delete any incriminating evidence from the internet.

Andy is very clearly a menace to society, and the only way to keep him off the streets is to give him a job. What do you say, Warner Bros.? I’m sure you won’t regret it.


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