The $3,500 That Jussie Smollett Paid The Brothers Wasn’t For The “Attack,” Reportedly
The plot thickens! Speaking of thickening, let’s talk pecs. Specifically, let’s talk the pecs that seemingly up shit’s creek (and not the good one) Empire actor Jussie Smollett reportedly wanted to develop for an upcoming music video. TMZ and Page Six are both reporting that, contrary to what the Chicago PD has stated, there’s evidence that the reported $3,500 check Jussie Smollett wrote for Ola and Abel Osundairo was to help him grow those thick titties and not to stage a hate crime on him.
Hot Sluts Of The Day!
Molly the beagle and her possum baby!
Australia saw Missouri’s pony-riding corgi and raised them a beagle-riding possum baby. Nine News Australia brings us another awww-inducing tale of interspecies love (and not in a PornHub category kind of way, you sucio-brained gutter skanks), and this time it’s the sweet love between a beagle who lost her entire litter and a possum baby who lost her mommy. In related news, researchers say that this story could very well replace defibrillation as a medical treatment to get hearts beating again.
Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 35 – “The Middle” Of Hell
A quick second into this episode, Allison and I slip on our Easy Spirit pumps and powerwalk through the racist revenge fantasy messiness created by Liam Neeson, and then we run through the WTFness that came out of Michelle Rodriguez’s mouth while defending him. Once we finish that, we talk about Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin’s Vogue cover, the terrifying closet ghost of North Carolina, and Delta and Coca-Cola joining forces to bring some junior high school romance to flights. We also quickly get into Jennifer Lawrence’s engagement, Kate Beckinsale and Pete Davidson, Gwyneth Paltrow’s ski accident, Bradley Cooper’s woes about not getting a Best Director Oscar nomination, and Steve Buscemi’s thoughts on being deepfaked.
We end by predicting the Grammy winners, which leads to that damn The Middle song burrowing into my brain again. BAY-BEH!
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Duchess Meghan’s Friends Have Gone To People Magazine To Tell The TRUTH About How Amazing She Is
Because they couldn’t sit and watch the British tabloids shit all over their friend and drag her, Duchess Meghan’s friends have defended her to People Magazine. They give statement after statement about how amazing and kind and fabulous and not at all a huge bitch, she is. The writers at The Daily Mail and The Sun are probably cracking their knuckles and stretching while getting ready to fight back with stories about how Meghan was spotted at a voice coach’s office in London, weeks before People’s cover story came out, which obviously means she was preparing to do the various voices of the “sources” defending her. Continue reading
Kate Beckinsale And Pete Davidson Really Are A Thing
Three weeks after we laughed off the silly rumor that Kate Beckinsale and Pete Davidson were new boo things because they – GASP – left a Golden Globes party at the SAME TIME, it appears that despite no engagement ring in sight (yet), Kate and Pete are definitely a thing. Just give me a sec to process this highly important late BREAKING news!
Night Crumbs
Celine Dion channeled her inner Chris Crocker by screaming (in French Canadian), “LEAVE THE GREATEST SINGUH IN DA WORLD”, alone over rumors that her heart has gone on from her late-husband Ruh-nay to her back-up dancer/best friend/ fashion show escort Pepe Munoz. And while I Google, “Is Pepe Munoz gay and available and into skinny fat bitter bitches?”, you all can scream to let Celine and her hot friend-in-waiting live! – Jezebel
Angelina Jolie will star in a new movie called Those Who Wish Me Dead, and no, it’s not a documentary about her ugly divorce battle with Brad Pitt – Lainey Gossip
“Give me ‘trying to push a fart but keep it sexy’!” screamed the photographer at Rita Ora – Drunken Stepfather
“Hello, welcome to the Woodstock Cafe, I’m your server Christina Hendricks, and by the way, my eyes are up here. No, keep going, keep going, still on my tits, keep going, yeah there.” – Popoholic
There was a partial Laverne & Shirley reunion (But can I even call it a Laverne & Shirley reunion without Laverne?) and just when I was about to scream, “Where’s Rhonda?!”, I spotted Rhonda in midwestern librarian drag – SOW
Backdoor Farrah $5,000 sex advice – Reality Tea
Cut to Jabba the Trump’s b-hole tingling itself raw over a MAGA hat making an appearance in a locker room at many more Super Bowls to come – Celebitchy
Rest in peace, James Ingram – Just Jared
Pic: Wenn.com