Roper and Cricket, the down-low cowcorgi and the one-eyed miniature pony who were caught in a late-night secret rendezvous.
A story about a corgi sneaking out of his home to ride a one-eyed pony down the way might sound like some interspecies porn, but this is a G-rated story of down-low friendship, you sick bitch. Who knows how long the secret love between Roper and Cricket has been going on, but one night, a human named Callie Schenker returned to her farm in Missouri and caught them in the act. When my mom once went into the garage and caught the neighbor dude riding me, she ran out and screamed for us to get out of there (no, that didn’t happen, or did it?). But Callie immediately pulled out her phone and got video proof of a corgi riding her pony.
Callie tells The Dodo that at first, she had no idea how Roper got on top of Cricket and doesn’t know how long the late-night riding has been going on. When Callie posted the video to Facebook and it went viral, some pony-riding-corgi haters refused to believe and were practically getting the ASPCA on her ass by accusing her of tying Roper to Cricket. Here’s Roper looking at Callie like, “Yes, I broke onto your private property. Yes, I’m stealing your pony. Yes, your pony loves it. AND WHAT?!”, before riding into the darkness with his pony friend. The only way to watch this video is while listening to the chorus of Karyn White’s musical opus.
Callie says that she didn’t stage that moment, and she didn’t even know Cricket and Roper were hanging out. Shit, Callie doesn’t even know if the corgi’s name is Roper. But she thinks that’s his name. Roper lives with a family about a mile away and regularly shows up on her farm to play with her dogs.
Earlier this week, Callie got some proof that she didn’t put Roper on Cricket and tie the dog to her one-eyed pony (who is a one-eyed pony because he lost his eye in an accident seven months ago). Callie was inside when she heard noises, and when she looked out, she saw Roper trying to jump on Cricket. This is definitely what it looks like when Kevin Hart tries to mount his wife.
I hate reboots more than I hate broccoli that’s not covered with cheese, but Hollywood needs to do something right for once and give us a reboot of My Friend Flicka starring Roper and Cricket. My Friend Cricket is what we need!