Elon Musk Tweeted A Weird Cryptic Warning About Dying Under Mysterious Circumstances
What’s Twitter’s current main character up to today? Oh not much, just bringing forth ten metric tons of DRAMA by implying that he might wind up dead under suspicious circumstances after tweeting about Russia’s space agency. The usual, you know? Elon Musk made a deal to buy Twitter for $43 billion, but he should have considered using that cash to purchase LiveJournal. Because Elon has been putting out some major desperate-for-attention delusional high school senior energy. Elon believes he’s pissed off Russia in a way that might end with him suddenly not being alive anymore, and he’s tweeted as much, in true hyperbolic Elon Musk fashion.
Priyanka Chopra And Nick Jonas Shared The First Photo Of Their Daughter After She Spent Over 100 Days In The NICU
Back in January, Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas welcomed their first baby via surrogate. Last month they revealed their daughter’s name: Malti Marie Chopra Jonas. Malti is a Sanskrit name that means small, fragrant flower or moonlight. Yesterday, in honor of Mother’s Day, the couple shared the first public picture of their child. Well, sort of. Malti’s little face is strategically covered with a white heart emoji. In the caption, 39-year-old Priyanka and 29-year-old Nick wrote about their “rollercoaster” last few months. Apparently, little Malti had to spend more than 100 days in the newborn intensive care unit! Scary. Luckily, baby Chopra Jonas finally got out of the hospital and is happy at home with her mom and dad.
Meghan McCain Responds To Her Book Selling Less Than 300 Copies
Last year, The View’s former #1 eye roll inducer Meghan McCain released her latest memoir (yes, at 37 years old, she’s got more than one) Bad Republican, exclusively on Audible. They released it on Audible because I guess data showed that there are a lot of masochists out there who just love to feel their ears bleed from listening to Meghan McCain talk about herself for over five hours. It was released on hard copy on April 26, and MSN says that since then, it has sold a whopping 244 copies. Honestly, this is pretty fucking shocking. I mean, I can’t believe there are more than zero people who want to use their hard-earned cash to buy a book by Meghan McCain. Why do I suddenly have the image of Meghan McCain wearing Groucho Marx glasses and a t-shirt that reads John McCain’s Daughter’s #1 Fan while leaving a Barnes & Noble with a bag full of 244 copies of her own book?
Open Post: Hosted By The Failed McDonald’s Proposal
A man in South Africa has gone viral after he proposed to his girlfriend in a McDonald’s and got brutally, publicly rejected. The clip, which ended up on Twitter, shows the dude on one knee, presenting the unnamed woman with a little box (presumably there’s an engagement ring inside, but maybe a McNugget?). The crowd at the McDonald’s cheers, but the woman is having none of it. She shakes her head and says no to her would-be-fiancé. Then she walks out as the crowd boos. After her exit, the failed proposer stands back up and slinks away with his meal.
Here’s the worst part: it’s a McDonald’s… in a mall. Who in their right mind would say yes to a proposal in a mall McDonald’s? And don’t say Grimace, cuz everybody knows he’s a desperate purple slut with zero standards. Continue reading
Night Crumbs
Rupert Murdoch’s British TV network TalkTV is apparently the flop of flops and some primetime timeslots have been rated as having ZERO viewers (not even the crickets are bothering with that mess). And noted fart bubble Piers Morgan’s show on TalkTV has also turned into a ratings joke. But you know, I’m shocked that his show got more than one viewer. I guess some people are tuning in because they’re suffering from a serious case of constipation and nothing gives you diarrhea like listening to Piers Morgan – Celebitchy
Jimmy Kimmel Live! took to the streets to find out if Americans know more about Star Wars history than they do about US history. Never mind that they asked someone who is clearly wearing a Star Wars shirt, I would’ve gotten an F- on both quizzes, so take that, Kimmel! – Pajiba
Ashley Darby From “Real Housewives Of Potomac” Filed To Separate From Husband Michael Darby
Hallelujah! Real Housewives of Potomac star Ashley Darby has filed to separate from her husband of eight years, Aussie millionaire pervert Michael Darby. 62-year-old Michael is one of the most hated husbands in Housewives history. And 33-year-old Ashley announced their separation in the middle of filming the show’s seventh season, which means that fans get to see the split played out on our TV screens. Thank you, Ashley, for your continued commitment to drama and messiness. Continue reading