Open Post: Hosted By Wendy’s Groundbreaking New Frosty Flavor
If you’ve been in the mood lately to have a “consistently-ranked-people’s-third-choice-when-only-given-three-choices” flavored ice cream treat from most people’s “wasn’t-my-first-choice” fast food restaurant, then you’re in luck! Wendy’s has just rolled out a new Frosty flavor that’s making its first appearance ever at their US locations–strawberry!
Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 171 – Fluff & Foolery
Since everything is horrible and depressing, we decided to get into three light stories that are either made of fluffiness or fuckery or both! We start by talking about the TikToker who claims she got a 3-inch vibrator stuck up her butt, slept it in while it was still vibrating, and then went off to the hospital where she had to get surgery to get it removed. From the tale of the vibrating vibrator stuck in a culo, we move on to a story about a couple who has decided to live on a cruise ship year-round because it’s cheaper than living on land for them. And we really bring the fluffiness with the story of a man in Japan who is trying to fulfill his dream of becoming an animal by wearing a $15,000 “realistic” Lassie costume.
Other stories we cover include RiRi’s BaBi, everyone paying to see Top Gun: Maverick, a person in a wig trying to hit the Mona Lisa in the face with cake, James Corden admitting that he only washes his hair once every two months, and the Kardashian story that made me Google, “How do I unread something.”
You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. If you’ve got a question or want us to cover something, e-mail us at [email protected]!
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Night Crumbs
Those who never read the book that the HBO series, The Time Traveler’s Wife, is based on, were shocked by the scene of pure fuckery where the lead character goes back in time, and blows himself, only to get caught by his dad. I don’t know why some were so scandalized by this. We always see dudes blowing themselves on TV. Well, metaphorically anyway (see: Kanye, Alec Baldwin, etc..). Others think it’s far-fetched that a dude would travel through time to blow himself. “Oh yes, that would never happen” nervously laughed all the dudes who have Googled “stretches you can do to eventually self-suck“- Pajiba
The guy behind Machine Gun Kelly’s behind should really file for workers’ comp for the pain he suffered from being that close to MGK’s bootleg Aaron Carter-looking naked ass while trying to do his job! – OMG Blog
Aerosmith Cancelled Their Summer Shows In Las Vegas After Steven Tyler Checked Into Rehab
Aerosmith was supposed to kick off a Las Vegas residency starting next month, but today the band announced that they’re cancelling their summer concerts. Steven Tyler has suffered a recent relapse and voluntarily checked into rehab. The Blue Army is extra blue today (apparently that’s what blue-collar/blue jean-wearing Aerosmith fans call themselves, thank you Google).
Teddi Mellencamp Defended Her Decision To Get A Neck Lift
Teddi Mellencamp is in the news after she– wait, you don’t know who Teddi Mellencamp is? OK, nerd, but maybe put down the book sometime. Teddi is John Cougar Mellencamp’s daughter, an ex-cast member of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the first person voted out on the most recent season of Celebrity Big Brother, and a controversial “accountability coach” who runs an expensive weight loss/diet program that encourages disordered eating. Now that you know what makes 40-year-old Teddi semi-relevant, here’s why we’re talking about her: People reports that she got a neck lift. Holy. Shit. Easily the biggest news story of the week. Continue reading
Open Post: Hosted By The Baby Born At A Metallica Concert
On Saturday night Metallica played a show in Curitiba, Brazil. This concert was originally scheduled for April 2020, but it kept getting COVID-postponed. Tattoo artist Joice Figueiró and her husband Jaime bought their tickets nearly three years ago, and were determined to go, hell or high water! So what if Joice was 39 weeks pregnant? If her unborn child knew what was good for him, he’d stay put in her belly. Baby Figueiró laid dormant for the two opening bands, but when Metallica took to the stage, all bets were off. Joice started having contractions! With just three songs left in the band’s set, her husband called the fire department. But it was too late; when medics arrived, they helped deliver the baby as Metallica played “Enter Sandman.” Look, the child’s first language is Portuguese and his tiny ears were being squeezed by his mother’s birth canal, all he could make out was “Enter.”