Lea Michele put on her “Eat it, gigolo who erased me from his regular client list before Valentine’s Day” outfit and worked it at the Vanity Fair party last night. The truth is, pictures of Lea Michele just aren’t the same without a can’t-be-bothered Jessica Lange ignoring her – Lainey Gossip

Speaking of, the man hooker agency that Lea Michele’s ex worked for once used her break up to shamelessly whore themselves out – Just Jared

Damn, those Little Women don’t play! – Reality Tea 

Dianna Agron’s engagement ring is as boring as she is – Celebitchy

So, Pimp Mama Kris is still trying to make all of us think that she, Pimp Mama Kris, hates that Kanye Kartrashian is bringing more attention to her family of fame whores – The Superficial 

Leonardo DiCatchAHo’s latest rumored piece looks about right – Drunken Stepfather

Douche extraordinaire and canned hair-wearer Jeremy Piven is trying to steal his Real Doll-looking ex-girlfriend away from a pocket square mogul – WWTDD

Rosie Huntington-Whateverly delivered garbage day glamour at the Elle Style Awards – Popoholic

Joanna Krupa’s ass is on a boat – Hollywood Tuna 

As expected, the Duggars are coming back to TLC full-time…. Try not to praise Jesus for this miracle all at once – Starcasm

Why, Lin-Manuel Miranda, why? – Pajiba

The answer to the question, “What does Adele call her coochie?“, has finally been answered! – The Berry 

And my guess is that Madonna’s trainer is slowly rotting in an Illuminati prison cell somewhere – Boy Culture

Game of Thrones is trying to confuse you – Egotastic

RiRi FINALLY performed live and all I have to say about that is that her vocals hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt my ears  – Popsugar

Presenting, the poor man’s Lenny Kravitz – (NSFW) OMG Blog

Lorde did a David Bowie tribute and didn’t make it all about Lorde. See, it’s possible, Lady CaCa! – HuffPo

The Sound of Music did The Sound of CaCa – Towleroad

Pic: Getty

Catherine Scalia, a hot dog water-covered rose of Long Island, was a Hot Slut of the Day in 2012, because she truly embodied everything that’s great about this country. We’re known for our natural beauties, entrepreneurial spirit, hot dogs and well-priced hand jobs. Catherine Scalia (no relation to Antonin, I think) became known as The Hot Dog Hooker when an undercover cop arrested her after she tried to sell him a wiener massage in the truck she sold hot dogs out of. It was a sad moment in the history of this country, because if you can’t sell a hand job in a hot dog truck in America, where can you? The Hot Dog Hooker later pleaded guilty to the charge. Being one of this country’s most promising entrepreneurs landed her on the cover of Forbes Magazine. Or maybe it was Whores Magazine. I get those two confused all the time. Well, one of my favorite American business women is baaaaaaack and is up to new tricks!

Fios1 says that The Hot Dog Hooker’s prude ass neighbors in East Rockaway, NY are trying to kill another one of her genius business ventures. The Hot Dog Hooker (or “The Hot Dog Honey” as she prefers to be called) has got a pillow with the words “Topless Lap Dance” written in red marker lying on a swing in her front yard and her neighbors say it’s trashing up the neighborhood. Some of the more dramatic neighbors claim they can’t sell their houses because of it. The Hot Dog Honey’s lap dance pillow billboard (that kind of looks like it was written by the kid in The Shining) looks like this:

It’s perfection. I’d be happy to have a work of elegant art like that in my neighborhood. But The Hot Dog Honey’s neighbor’s want it gone. One neighbor claims that she had a similar sign on her house and he had to use a ladder to get it down. Another neighbor is disgusted and is afraid her kids are going to see it. Their complaints to the city led to officials dropping a warning in her lap. They warned her that if she doesn’t remove her pillowy lap dance sign, they’ll drag her to court. The Hot Dog Honey doesn’t know what the problem is. It’s just an arm rest and she’s lived in that house since birth and nobody’s bothered her before.

“It’s an arm rest! It’s just, something I wrote. I’ve been here 50 years, okay. My neighbors know me for 50 years. I’m 50 years old, okay. My neighbors know me for 50 years. Nobody has a problem with me.”

The Hot Dog Honey did add that, yeah, she gives lap dances, but it’s really just belly dancing and she does it for a donation!

When are all of these bitches going to stop messing with The Hot Dog Honey’s impeccable ho game? First, the hating cops ruined her brilliant hot dogs ‘n hand jobs business. And now her hating neighbors are trying to ruin her at-home lap dance empire? They should be holding her up as the ho shit hero she is! The Hot Dog Honey is a more honorable business person than a certain hemorrhoid who is currently the front-runner for the Republican presidential nomination. And yes, that is my way of saying that The Hot Dog Honey should be president. Nothing would make me squirt out a tear of American pride like seeing a pillow advertising for topless lap dances on the front lawn of the White House.

The local news report about The Hot Dog Honey is after the cut. Warning: It auto-plays and if that doesn’t kill you, the charisma and grace of The Hot Dog Hooker will!

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Prepare all your “Sure, Jans” – you will surely need them. Naya Rivera had a bit of titty problem at the Vanity Fair Young Hollywood party last night. Normally staring directly into Naya’s Grand Canyon deep cleavage would leave you dizzy or light-headed. But last night, the only feeling it gave people was a sense of wonder. Specifically, they wondered why it looked as though her left titty was trying get a better look at that fancy necklace she’s wearing. Well, good news – she has an explanation for that.

Last night, Naya posted a picture of herself at the Vanity Fair party on Instagram and claimed that it’s her five-month-old baby Josey’s fault for why she’s got a case of Summer Tits.

“Absolutely loved this @TadashiShoji look tonight for the @VanityFair young Hollywood party! Shout out to my son for the lopsided boobs. LOL #breastfeeding #momlife He is SO worth it.”

Baby Josey is apparently a tiny sorcerer who was blessed with the ability to relocate silicone. I don’t know how useful that skill is, but who knows? Okay, so we know why the boobs look the way they do. Now all we need to know is who is responsible for Kardashian-ing her face. And don’t blame the baby, Naya. The last time I checked, babies don’t have the magical ability to turn you into the Kim K version of yourself.

Pics: Splash

Everyone knows that walking is hard and when you’re Mariah Carey, walking is really hard. You try walking when a 6-sizes too small gown and 10 pairs of Spanx are squeezing your internal organs and you’ve got 45 pounds of face paint and a 2 ton diamond ring weighing you down. So this hilarious Instagram video (via Lainey Gossip) of the Hello Kitty unicornie one being wheeled around isn’t that surprising.

It looks like it was shot in the lobby of her show in Las Vegas during a performance. Since it would take her approximately 45 years to walk from one side of the theater to the other, one of her minions wheeled her as her ladies-in-waiting freshened up her beauty and kept a refreshing drink nearby just in case she wanted to quench her thirst. All hail the Anti-Walking Empress!

#MariahCarey nos bastidores da #1ToInfinity

A video posted by Mariah Now (@mariahnow) on Feb 23, 2016 at 4:41pm PST

I’ve seen Mimi’s butterfly extravaganza in Las Vegas and she barely walks in that. If she wore a Fitbit, at the end of the day her stats would read: “Steps – Bitch didn’t even try.” The set designer came up with many creatives things for Mimi to lounge on. Mimi lounged on a jet ski, a car, a couch and a bed. Mimi is a lazy hero and is always having a seat. I can’t blame her for that. But I can blame her for that janky chariot. It looks like a chair sitting on a Costco flat bed cart. I can’t believe Mimi allowed herself to be seen on that thing. I would think that a swan like her would only be seen in a miniature version of Queen Elizabeth’s chariot. It must’ve been in the shop getting bedazzled and gold leafed.

Pics: Wenn.com

The BRIT Awards are happening right now in The Land of Many Cakes. As you can already guess, Adele is going to need a shipping container to haul home all her awards. So far she’s only won one: Best British Female Solo Artist. Adele kept her acceptance speech short and sweet, no doubt because she was saving her voice for the 1,293 other acceptance speeches she’d no doubt make later in the evening. But one of the things she made sure to do after thanking everyone was to give a shout-out to Kesha by saying: “I’d like to take this moment to publicly support Kesha.” I might be jumping to conclusions, but Dr. Luke can probably go ahead and cross the name Adele off his list of dream collaborations.

#BRITs2016: Adele shows her support for Kesha during acceptance speech https://t.co/FWpYXDucQp https://t.co/Dz9wDnnCFm

— Hollywood Reporter (@THR) February 24, 2016

Demi Lovato is totally sending Taylor Swift a text right now that says: “See? It’s not that hard.”

I don’t know if Kesha’s lawyers have decided whether or not to appeal a judge’s recent decision to keep her stuck in her contract with Sony. But if I were them, I’d be typing up a transcript of Adele’s acceptance speech and rushing down to the judge’s chambers with it as soon as possible. An endorsement from the current queen of music should be enough to have that judge overturn her decision. Right? I mean, unless that judge is Noel Gallagher, it couldn’t hurt.

As for Kesha, she released a longer, more formal statement regarding her current situation on Facebook (via Rolling Stone) this afternoon, which you can read all of after the cut.

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I watched an episode of Vice a couple of weeks ago about “designer babies” and an expert said that in the near future we’ll be able to pick our unborn kid’s eye color, height, etc… In other words, in the future, the world will be overrun with tall, blond skinnies with blue eyes. It’ll be like living in Leonardo DiCatchAho’s Shangri-La. They also brought up how gender selection is already thing and I already knew that thanks to the Onion Crunch Mogul vs. Sofia Vergara disaster. Well, Chrissy Teigen told People that she chose to get implanted with a girl embryo because she really wants to see John Legend be a father to a daughter.

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