While looking like she’s wearing an ensemble from the Darth Vadar Collection for Chico’s (I’m surprised Disney’s marketing team didn’t do that, honestly), St. Angie Jolie went through LAX last night with three members of the child army, Pax, Shiloh and Zahara. The Daily Mail says that St. Angie was in Cambodia filming her new movie and before she got to L.A. last night, she made a short stop in London to get a quickie serving of dick cheese and armpit syrup (she hooked up with Brad Pitt who’s there filming something).

After I looked at these pictures, a membership to AARP popped up in my inbox, I had to call Apple support to ask them how to respond to that email from AARP, I could feel hairs growing out of my ears and I suddenly got the urge to stand outside my door and watch my neighbors to see if they’ll do anything I can snitch on them for. Seeing Pax as an almost teenager pushed me into the “strawberry hard candies in my pockets” phase of life. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go to Target to yell at people in the aisles. I do that anyway, but since I’m an old now, I’m hoping they’ll let me yell a few minutes longer before they call security.

Pics: Splash

Unlike his pal Brad Pitt, who appears to have found a rip in the space-time continuum and is aging backwards, George Clooney is clearly getting older every year. In the real world, getting older has tons of benefits: people don’t care if you fall asleep in the middle of the day with your pants off, stores and restaurants practically throw discounts at you.

And even if you hate the idea of getting old, at least vain bitches in the real world have the option of aging in the privacy of their own homes. In Hollywood, you have to do it all on a giant screen. If you’re lucky, you might be able to bribe someone in post-production to CGI the Cryptkeeper out of your face. But it sounds like George Clooney doesn’t want to go to such effort. George told the BBC (via People) that as he gets wrinklier and saggier, he’s probably going to hide behind the camera and direct a whole lot more.

“It’s a very unforgiving thing, the camera is, so aging becomes something you try to do less and less onscreen. You try to pick the films that work best for you and as you age they become less and less. As you age onscreen you get to that point where you really understand you can’t stay in front of the camera for your whole life.”

George has said in the past that he has no plans to de-old his face with surgery, so that option is out.

Maybe it’s just me, but I think George is making too big of a deal out of getting older in the face. George could start to look like a geriatric Shar Pei, and his loyal legion of horny Cloonies will still send him love letters and locks of hair. The only thing that will change is that now their fantasies will be about giving the sponge bath to Dr. Doug Ross instead of the other way around.

Pic: Splash

When Farrah Fawcett left Charlie’s Angels, the show that made her a STAR, after only one season, the rumor was that she wanted to do theater and movie work. (The other rumor was that her husband at the time, Lee Majors, wanted her to stay home and be a good little housewife.) Well, a source tells Page Six says that Trai Byers, who plays Cookie and Lucious Lyon’s hot piece eldest son Andre on Empire, may be thinking about pulling a Farrah. Trai’s husband Lee Majors wants him to leave the show so he can stay home and be a good little housewife. No, Trai thinks he’s too big of a star now and wants to do more serious work!

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Asking random famous people about feminism felt like the sort of thing that had been left back in 2014 along with the ice bucket challenge and Alex from Target. However, Cosmopolitan decided to revisit some past feelings Kaley Cuoco once had about feminism and ask her if she still felt the same way.

Back in 2014, Kaley rustled a few jimmies by telling Redbook that she didn’t want to call herself a feminist because she liked to make dinner for her (now ex) husband, Ryan Sweeting. She later tried to clear it up by saying her words were taken out of context. It sounds like Kaley might have replaced all the time she used to spend making food for her husband with self-reflection, because she told Cosmo that she definitely considers herself a feminist now.

“Of course I’m a fucking feminist. Look at me. I bleed feminism. I get equal pay to my male costars on a big show, I have my own home, I’m as independent as you could possibly be.”

“You get paid as much as your male costars? How nice for you” said the Kaley Cuoco of movies, Jennifer Lawrence.

She also sort of got into the death of her marriage by saying that it makes her sad and it changed the way she looks at marriage. I’m guessing one of those changes is that she won’t celebrate her next marriage by getting a tattoo of the wedding date.

So there you have it. Kaley Cuoco is a feminist. Now if only she’d give us some news we could really get excited about. Like that they’re planning a sequel to my favorite made-for-TV movie, Growing Up Brady, that would focus on all the behind-the-scenes dirt of A Very Brady Christmas. Surely I can’t be the only one who wants that.

Pic: Cosmopolitan

Slap yourself until you’ve developed a sense of real taste if you thought I was calling Cate Blanchett the “best-dressed person” at the Oscars. Although, she may be a close second, because she looks like the ethereal wedding cake of two faeries who are on Pinterest a lot.

I’m talking about two-time Oscar-winning and one-time Hot Slut winning costume designer Jenny Beavan who picked up her second Academy Award on Sunday night while dressed like she had a Hell’s Angel pot luck to get to afterward. Jenny is known for slathering herself in many layers of WHO CARES when she goes to an awards show. And after she won the Oscar for the costumes she designed for Mad Max: Fury Road, she told reporters backstage that a gown would look dumb on her and in her opinion, she did dress up.

When Jenny’s name was called, she took the long walk to the stage and as she did, the camera caught a bunch of hos looking about as sour as Quentin Tarantino at an orgy full of double amputees. Here’s a longer clip of the human Grumpy Cats not clapping for a real fashion icon:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pL5GXxUcysU

Because this has become news, Jenny wrote a piece for The Hollywood Reporter about the scandal that her hot outfit caused.

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No, you’re not looking at the money shot from a food play porno sponsored by Key Lime Slime Twinkies. But I’m sure that exists somewhere if that’s the kind of thing that does it for your down-lows. The day that Ghostbusters fans have been waiting for/dreading (depending on what side of the Ghostbusters all-lady reboot argument you’re on) is finally here. Sony released the first official trailer for the new Ghostbusters movie starring Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Kate McKinnon, and Leslie Jones earlier today, and it truly has everything. Ghosts. Slime. Wigs. Chris Hemsworth kicking down a door in nerd glasses. A melancholy CGI Victorian ghost that I’m pretty sure is actually Rooney Mara trying her hand at some Andy Serkis-style motion capture.

Overall, I’m into it (Kate McKinnon dressed in Forever 21 Tank Girl drag sold it for me). But I do have two notes:

1. Where’s the ghost blowjob scene?!? Ghostbusters is nothing without a sexy ghost going down on a horny buster.

2. They updated a lot, but for some reason Slimer is still the same old Slimer? This is 2016 New York, not 1984 New York. There’s no way Slimer can still afford to live downtown. Unless Slimer found a way to get rich by injecting himself into the lips of Manhattan socialites, he’s definitely living with 18 strangers in Brooklyn.

I’m also a little shocked they didn’t extend the whole gender-reversal thing to the the surprised ghost in the Ghostbusters logo. Or maybe they did try it, but it ended up looking too much like the undead version of KFC’s sexy chicken nugget from Japan and they didn’t want to get sued.