The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS For March 3rd!
Teresa Giudice’s hair finally won the battle for her forehead. – pamorama_j
Upvote winner:
Amber Rose’s finger after a night with Kanye – Whamo
Pic: Getty
Hot Slut Of The Day!
Richie Yuta, the catriarch of a chihuahua family in Bangkok, Thailand!
Thank you to Laughing Squid for pointing me toward one of my new favorite Instagram pages that follows the adventures of Richie, the head pussy of a pack of adorable bitches. Dear E!, please replace Keeping Up with the Kartrashians with Keeping Up with the Yutas, because this is the kind of family we want to keep up with. There’s really not many details about the Yuta family. The only thing I know is that Richie is a 5-year-old cat, he’s the boss of a tiny dog family and they all live in Thailand together. But you know, details are cheap when soul-warming pictures tell everything.
But as I went through the Yuta family’s page and awwwww after awwwwww filled my ice cold and empty heart, things got a little dark when I got to this picture of Boss Bitch Richie and one of his best dog friends Kuma:
The hell?
Hmmm… Maybe Richie Yuta isn’t the pimp pussy of chihuahuas. Maybe chihuahuas are heading the dog revolution in Thailand and they catnapped Richie and are torturing him by making him pose in jacked-up outfit after jacked-up outfit for Instagram. If that’s the case, this is the most adorable hostage situation ever.
Pics: Instagram
Birthday Sluts
Catherine O’Hara (62)
Brooklyn Beckham (17)
Andrea Bowen (26)
Erin Heatherton (27)
Josh Bowman (28)
Margo Harshman (30)
Whitney Port (31)
K. Michelle (32)
Drew Houston (33)
Landon Donovan (34)
Len Wiseman (43)
Ivy Queen (44)
Chaz Bono (47)
Patsy Kensit (48)
Evan Dando (49)
Sam Taylor-Wood (49)
Jason Newsted (53)
Steven Weber (55)
Patricia Heaton (58)
Mykelti Williamson (59)
Emilio Estefan Jr. (63)
Ronn Moss (64)
Carroll Baker (67)
James Ellroy (68)
Paula Prentiss (78)
Pic: Warner Bros.
Night Crumbs
Bless the stylist who crimped up and spiraled up Beyonce’s weave last night. If only they went all the way with the 80s glamour by taking a heart-shaped flat iron to it – Lainey Gossip
Okay, but what kind of half-assed homemade Sharpie t-shirt is Katy Perry wearing? – The Superficial
Morgan Freeman, like the world, is going “errrrr” over Ben Affleck’s Batman – Celebitchy
Here’s Joanna Krupa bringing awareness to Joanna Krupa, I mean to cruelty in the wool industry – Drunken Stepfather
Because you really wanted to know, Ramona Singer got some dick in Florida – Reality Tea
I’m gayer than a Care Bear’s unicorn taint tattoo, and even I would get weirded out if a stranger man touched my hand on an escalator. Unless the stranger man was Prince Hot Ginge and he was about to propose – Towleroad
Dakota Fanning should keep those bedazzled fat worm brows because they are the look – Hollywood Tuna
Important question: Why are the paps following Amanda Seyfried when they should be following her world-famous dog instead?! – Popoholic
Brit Brit Spears serving FACE, and yes, the FACE looks nothing like Brit Brit Spears, but she’s serving it – OMG Blog
Sarah Paulson is in love with Holland Taylor, but don’t call her a gayelle – Popsugar
After reading about Charlie Sheen and Brett Rossi’s first “date,” I’m shocked that their pure and genuine love didn’t last forever – WWTDD
Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom are officially a thing now – HuffPo
The Foo Fighters didn’t break up – Pajiba
Damn, Courtney Stodden is selfish – The Berry
BREAKING: Kendull Jenner wore a blond wig and Gigi Hadid wore a brown wig – Just Jared
Mama June is in the hospital and I pray the cafeteria serves sketti sauce – Starcasm
Pic: Getty
Who Is February’s Hot Slut Of The Month?
Hot Slut of the Month must go on even though last month an unholy act against everything was committed when a dog beat demigoddess Joan Collins for the title. But we must pick ourselves up, pray for the satanic souls who voted against her and move on while making a note that next year, we’ll stuff her name into the Hot Slut of the Year ballot box.
The 4 choices for Hot Slut of February each tingle a different part of you. The Star Wars “pool toys” tingle your fuck hole(s). Flossie Dickey tingles your soul. Jenny Beavan tingles your spirit. And the First Lady of the Denver Broncos tingles your retinas with her all-natural beauty. Like every month, 3 choices got the most Facebook likes and the last one is the wild card picked by me. I already told you the 4 choices for HSOTM, but I’ll tell you again anyway, because I really want this post to be more than 200 words:
– Target’s Star Wars “pool toys” that are really poon toys.
– Flossie Dickey, the 110-year-old whiskey-drinking hero who did not make it all the way to 110 to be interviewed by some annoying local news reporter.
– Jenny Beavan, the award-winning costume designer whose badass Oscar ensemble caused a SCANDAL!
– Annabel Bowlen, the fresh Canadian blossom who is now the Queen of the Broncos.
Voting is below. The winning HSOTM will be announced on Tuesday!
Buckle Up, Buckaroo! Caitlyn Jenner Wants To Be Ted Cruz’s Trans Ambassador
So far, this election has been like taking acid at a Ringling Bros. Barnum & Bailey show and so nothing really surprises me including this shot of chunky fooolery courtesy of Caitlyn Jenner. Caitlyn did an interview with the Advocate to promote the next season of I Am Cait, and she got into talking about political shit. Now, Caitlyn, who’s a Republican, didn’t exactly sing, “I’ve got a crush on Cruz,” (to the tune of “Crush on Obama“), but she did say that out of all the candidates, she likes Ted Cruz.