It’s Truly Hard Out There For A Young, Hot, White Gay Dude
26-year-old Steve Grand was the first mainstream openly gay country singer and now he’s mostly known as an expert thirst trapper and professional Instagram gym model. But well, Steve Grand says he’s so much more than an Instagram adonis and says that he gets a lot of hate for being a rock hard piece of ass that can make a corpse cum just by flexing. Kelly LeBrock’s Pantene commercial is pretty much Steve Grand’s Bible. Bitches hate him because he’s beautiful.
Chorizo Lothario Bobby Flay Has Struck Again
On the last episode of Beat-Off Bobby Flay, famous smug-faced chef Bobby Flay had gone on a date with the alcohol industry’s favorite human, Chelsea Handler. No one can confirm whether said date made it to the beat-off Bobby Flay stage (Chelsea could be the stealthy hand job-under-the-table type, you don’t know). But it definitely isn’t going to make it to the flying-a-CHEATER-banner stage, because Page Six is saying Bobby has moved on to someone else.
Sources say 51-year-old Bobby Flay is currently dating 30-year-old Heléne Yorke, aka Jane Martin from Masters of Sex (or Olive from Bullets Over Broadway the Musical and Evelyn in America Psycho the Musical, if that’s more your thing). Bobby and Heléne – whose name totally makes me want to reach for a bottle of Salon Selectives – apparently met each other back in December at a Knicks game. Then on Sunday, they sort of made it official-ish by going to the New York premiere of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. However, a Food Network rep told Page Six that Bobby isn’t stuffing his chorizo into Heléne’s roasted poblano pepper, and that they’re just friends.
I know that the Food Network wants us to believe that Bobby and Heléne are just friends, but I’m not so sure about that. First of all, we all know what happens when Bobby tries to be “just friends” with single blonde actress types. Second, I don’t remember reading anything the next day about a horny Heléne being escorted out of the Batman v Superman premiere by security. And that definitely would have happened if Heléne wasn’t there with a date-date, since we all know that ladies can’t resist hitting on Henry Cavill.
Pics: Wenn.com
Uncle Terry Is Officially Daddy Terry Now
Around five months ago, we learned that Terry Richardson did something we didn’t think was possible for him to do. He shot out a jizz load into a plastic cup instead of on a model’s face while taking her picture. Uncle Terry said the words that made NYC’s Child Protective Services double their staff. Uncle Terry announced that and he and his former assistant/current girlfriend Alexandra “Skinny” Bolotow made a pair of babies together.
Just the other day, I saw a picture on Instagram of Skinny’s baby-growing dome looking about as big as Jupiter, and I figured that maybe those children decided to just stay in that Uncle Terry-free zone. You know, they could’ve gotten their food through Seamless and binge-watched every damn show Netflix has to offer. But well, those babies are now out of Skinny’s body and probably wearing red flannel onesies and tiny black aviators as Uncle Terry hands out dick-shaped blue cigars and gets his baker to make a raspberry jelly-filled cake reenactment of his kids’ birth. Because Skinny popped out twin boys over the weekend. Terry announced it on his Instagram today:
Watching this woman rock it through an insane delivery and push out our babies was the most intense, inspiring, exhilerating, and humbling experience of my life. So blessed and grateful for this sweet family. Welcome to the world Rex + Roman. March 19th, 2016 6:23pm and 6:35pm, 6lbs 1 oz and 6lbs 10oz
Roman… I guess naming the other one “Woody” would’ve ruined his reputation as the reigning king of subtlety. Now that Uncle Terry is a father to babies, that’s our cue to find out the safest way to scoop out our eyeballs with plastic sporks to dip them in a mixture of boiling ammonia and bleach, because he’s definitely going to cover the Internet with his take on Anne Geddes-style pictures.
Pic: Instagram
Former Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Has Died
After fighting an 18-month long battle with cancer, come-to-life Chris Farley impersonation and former Mayor of Toronto Rob Ford has died at the age of 46. The Toronto Star says that Ford’s family confirmed his death earlier today, but won’t be releasing any specifics. Rob Ford’s messy mayoral antics came to an abrupt stop at the end of 2014 when he was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer called pleomorphic liposarcoma. He underwent surgery in 2015 to remove it, but two tumors were found a few months later.
I know Drake thinks that Toronto (no I will not call it The 6) is his thing, but back in 2014, Toronto belonged to Mayor Rob Ford. Rob Ford became famous for being himself, which was a loud crack-smoking booze-chugging Bieber-loving (then later, Bieber-fighting), proud pussy eating, old lady crashing-into ball of crazy. Rob Ford was parodied on SNL and invited to bring his bumbling mayor act to an episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live!. Did I mention he was still the Mayor of Canada’s largest city during all of this?
Eventually Rob Ford’s drunk messiness got out of hand and he was sent to rehab, which…didn’t exactly work. Being a two-term Mayor didn’t work out for him either. Rob Ford withdrew from the mayoral race after he was diagnosed with cancer. He leaves behind his wife, two children, as well as his brother and BFF Doug, who is also a Toronto politician.
Rob Ford is responsible for a lot of bad, but he’s also responsible for a very good. Rob Ford gave us former Hot Slut Joe Killoren. I’d say that bringing a sexy shirtless bear into our lives is reason enough to pour one out for him today.
Pic: Splash
Margot Robbie Is Trying To Get That OSCUH, I See
When you think of Tonya Harding’s face, you immediately think of Margot Robbie’s face, so it makes complete sense that she’s playing Nancy Kerrigan’s one-time arch rival in a movie. And by “makes complete sense” I mean doesn’t make sense.
Margot Robbie obviously opened up Charlize Theron’s handbook “How To Easily Win An Oscar When You’re A Gorgeous Woman” to the first and only page and took its advice when she read, “Step 1: Homely it up, bitch. The end.” Because Deadline says that 25-year-old Margot Robbie will produce and star in a movie about the trials and tribulations of Tonya Harding. Oscar fever is real and Margot probably caught it from Leonardo DiCatchAHo, which means that we shouldn’t be too surprised when Deadline announces that the bear from The Revenant is starring in a dark and serious biopic about the life of Smokey the Bear.
Kesha’s Lawyers Have Filed An Appeal, Say That Forcing Her To Work With Dr. Luke Is “Slavery”
It’s been over a month since Judge Shirley Kornreich dismissed Kesha’s preliminary injunction request to make music without the help of her alleged abuser and confirmed (by Kelly Clarkson) “not good person” Dr. Luke. Kesha really really doesn’t want anything to do with Dr. Luke, so I was a little surprised that when she walked out of court that day, she didn’t do a 180-degree pivot turn and march back in with an appeal. But I guess those kinds of things take about a month to prepare. People says that on Saturday, Kesha’s lawyer, Mark Geragos, finally filed that appeal we all expected her to file.