Remember the good old days when JLaw just peed in sinks? – Judgey

Upvote winner:

That’s not what I meant when I asked for “Poupon“. – CS182

Pic: Break

Brigit, the pussy thief with a fetish for men’s chonies!

It’s been a while since I’ve covered an actual cat burglar, and this one would definitely make past pussy robbers, Oscar the Klepto Kitty and The Pussy Burglar Of Swindon, proud!

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Reese Witherspoon (40)
Cody Gifford (26)
Tyler Oakley (27)
Tania Raymonde (28)
Constance Wu (34)
Mims (35)
Shannon Bex (36)
Kellie Shanygne Williams (40)
Cole Hauser (41)
Anne Dudek (41)
Guillermo Díaz (41)
Elvis Stojko (44)
Meghan Chavalier (47)
Rick Harrison (51)
Matthew Modine (57)
Stephanie Mills (59)
Lena Olin (61)
Bob Costas (64)
Fanny Ardant (67)
Wolf Blitzer (68)
Andrew Lloyd Webber (68)
William Shatner (85)
Pat Robertson (86)
Stephen Sondheim (86)

Pic: Roxie Releasing

BREAKING: Oscar Isaac eats Cheetos with chopsticks and that just seems unnatural, dumb and weird. Half of the fun of eating Cheetos is sucking that processed cheese dust off of your fingers. And now I’m feeling things from picturing Oscar Isaac sucking processed cheese dust off of his fingers and you know it’ll get all over that stache and I better stop before I start writing Cheetos porn – Lainey Gossip 

Pepaw Steven Bauer and his 20-year-old Tea Party activist piece are still together – Celebitchy

NeNe Leakes, who? Cynthia Bailey will join the all-star A-list cast of  Sharknado 4 – Reality Tea 

Naomi Watts is giving you “bored inmate in a really fancy prison cell” – Drunken Stepfather

I see that the Kartrashians’ Instagram Photoshopper works for Brit Brit Spears on the side – The Superficial 

I don’t know why Tyga carries a gun anyway. If someone is trying to rob him of the money he doesn’t have, he just has to smile at them and they’ll pass out from laughing at that Barbie grill – WWTDD

Is this a clip from Nickelodeon’s reboot of Donnie Darko? – Towleroad

Meghan Trainor’s shitty new video and song is what it would look like if Wynonna Judd tried to break into pop in the late 90s by doing a song for the Batman & Robin soundtrack – Jezebel

Wonder Woman is apparently the real star of Batman vs. Superman – IDLYITW

Gigi Hadid and Bella Hadid look like assistant managers at a Contempo Casuals and that may be the greatest compliment I’ve ever given anyone – Popoholic

Adele sort-of twerked during a show, and yeah, she still did it better than Miley – Popsugar

Fresh Off The Boat is doing a Melrose Place-themed episode and I guess, Marcia Cross, Heather Locklear, Laura Leighton, Jamie Luner and Josie Bissett weren’t available, so they settled for Alison Parker – SOW

This dog is a whore for petting – The Berry 

Tyra Banks looks like a rejected Fly Girl – Just Jared

Veep is FINALLY coming back, and this time, President Selena fucks Roger from Mad Men – Pajiba

Pic: @oscarisaacposts

On Friday night, Hulk Hogan probably celebrated his $115 million victory against Gawker Media by prematurely ordering a half dozen diamond-encrusted gold-woven silk bandanas. Well, he can order a couple more, because the jury in his secret fuck tape lawsuit against Gawker decided today he should get ANOTHER $25 million. I don’t know if the overdone chicharrón is going to see much of that insane amount of cash, but if he does, then we should brace our eardrums because he’ll probably try to make Brooke Hogan a pop star again.

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Level Nightclub in the English city of Bolton regularly posts drunk wrecks falling on their Facebook page, so now you know that if you ever get wasted at Level Nightclub, check your lipstick, hair and ensemble before trying to tackle a flight of stairs. Because you want to look hot when you fall down the stairs and end up on Level’s FB. This week’s “Fall of the Week” starred one of Level’s regulars, Olivia, who quickly turned what could’ve been an embarrassing disaster into an ethereal stair ballet. Take a tip from Olivia: The next time your drunk ass feels like the sweet nectar got the best of you and you’re about to go down, quickly play the “flyyyyyyyy” part of “Wind Beneath My Wings” in your head before you stretch out your legs and glide down those stairs like a fairy delicately flying through the sky.

Someone should drop the boy from The Neverending Story onto Olivia’s back and mash this video up with the theme song, because she flies as beautifully and graceful as a luck dragon.

In their Facebook post, Level says that Olivia didn’t hurt herself at all and is just “nursing a bruised ego.” The only thing on Olivia that should be bruised is her ear from talking on the phone with ballet companies from all over the world who want her to teach her graceful swan diving ways to their dancers. And if there was such a thing as the Drunk Mess Olympics, Olivia would win every gold medal in stair diving and officials would retire the sport afterward, because nothing will be able to top her stunning performance.

via Manchester Evening News (Thanks Carrie!)