Oscar winner Leonardo DiCaprio (I think all of us are legally obligated to type that every time, it is a law) is promoting The Revenant in Japan, and it looks like his bear muff beard is slowly growing back. The gnats and lice of the world are currently packing their things, because it looks like their favorite vacation spot, Leonardo’s greasy beard, will be ready by summer – Lainey Gossip 

Wolfgang Puck practically called Posh Beckham a vegebitch who only eats spinach and doesn’t talk to anyone at his restaurant, and for that, she is going to eat a juicy steak, and it’ll be made out of his flesh! – Celebitchy

And here’s the footage from Wolfgang Puck’s restaurant of Posh Beckham eating that spinach – The Berry 

German’s finest rose now has a pair of extremely elegant heart-shaped nipples. She looks like the Real Doll version of Tenderheart Care Bear – (NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

MiserAlba is still at the beach – The Superficial 

Cover your ears, Atlanta, because I don’t want the sound of Kenya Moore’s ego exploding to hurt you – Reality Tea 

The twat wig that Olivia Wilde worked in an episode of Vinyl needed to be more Sascrotch-like. It is the 70s after all – WWTDD

Chloe Grace Moretz (and a dude sleeping on a mattress in the pool) posed for Complex – Hollywood Tuna 

Frances Bean Cobain and her Kurt Cobain-looking ass husband are getting a divorce – Just Jared

Another day, another picture of Bella Thorne looking like a lot lizard who just won a chunk of money playing Scratchers – Popoholic

Panty Creamer of the Day: That hot math teacher’s new Emporio Armani campaign – Towleroad

Stop singing and kiss! – OMG Blog

Unless A-Rod’s new girlfriend can bench press a Kia, he has completely thrown us a plot twist by dating against type – Jezebel

I’ve seen Sims that look more natural and human than Tara Reid does in these pictures – SOW

Rest in peace, Phife Dawg – IDLYITW

Pic: Wenn.com

Henry Cavill has finally stopped burping up at the mouth about his 19-year-old girlfriend and #OscarsSoWhite and is talking about a topic many of us really care about: his naked ass body. Henry was on  Late Night with Seth Meyers (via E!) last night and told the tale of how he ended up giving a golden shower show at the top of a Los Angeles hotel at three in the morning. Don’t worry, a Kartrashian was not involved.

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I see you trying to think you can recreate this easy, breeze, beautiful beachy look using an old bottle of Sun-In that’s been living in the back of your bathroom cabinet for decades, Morton sea salt, tap water, White Rain hairspray and a dream. But sorry, tricks, Jason Momoa got those locks naturally from resting on top of his surfboard under the sun after choking out and cunt-punting a school of sharks trying to attack a dolphin. Jason Momoa IS Aquaman.

Jason worked Jennifer Aniston’s Mexican vacation dream hair with a hot velvet blazer at last night’s London premiere of Who Cares v. Who Cares: Just Bring Me Wonder Woman. I trolled through a bunch of pictures of the premiere and didn’t see any of Jason Momoa with Lisa Bonet. Lisa Bonet must have stayed her ass home, because she wasn’t in the mood for jealousy trollops throwing her looks that clearly say, “You got to bone Lenny Kravitz on the regular and now you get to bone Jason Momoa on the regular? How do I shapeshift into your cooch?”

And here’s more pics from last night’s premiere including some of Wonder Woman looking like Christmas, Ben Affleck and Mark Hamill!

Pics: Wenn.com

Today has been one hell of a hump day for two dark-haired members of the Real Housewives franchise family. In New York City, Bethenny Frankel is joyfully rolling around in a pile of torn-up alimony checks. But across the river in New Jersey, Teresa Giudice is crying salty black eyeliner tears into her mid-afternoon glass of peach Fabellini while screaming “JOOOOOOE!!!“. That’s right, Juicy Joe is now Juicy Prison Inmate Joe.

The Giudice family lawyer confirmed to UsWeekly that Joe Giudice lumbered into the Fort Dix Federal Correctional Institution in New Jersey today at noon to serve his 41 month prison sentence for wire and bankruptcy fraud. Joe was escorted into his home for the next couple of years by Teresa, his brother, his sister, and a bunch of other Giudices. Teresa will look after their four Giudettes while Joe is in the big house, just like how Joe did for Teresa when she was locked up last year.

Maybe it’s because I have the story of another locked-up bottom-rung celebrity degenerate still fresh on my mind, but I can’t help but wonder how Joe will do in prison. I don’t know much about being locked up, but I do know the best way to ensure that nobody fucks with you is to establish yourself as totally fucking crazy. And what better way to prove it than by going around and introducing yourself as Teresa Giudice’s husband. “Don’t piss him off, man – I heard he’s real close with the Babadook-looking table flipper from the Real Housewives of New Jersey.”

Pic: Teresa Giudice

The makers of Making A Murderer are currently working on a second season for Netflix, but they need to hit the red ABORT button on those plans and instead shift their focus to investigating and thoroughly covering the journey to get Michelle Tanner in Fuller House. That American saga has more twists and turns than the Trollsens’ spinning heads when they do a Satanic spell on a bitch.

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You’re actually looking at a picture of all three people from the title. On the left, we have Maria Bello. In the middle, we have Maria Bello’s now-former girlfriend Clare Munn. On the right, we have the 29-year-old she replaced her girlfriend with. However, this picture wasn’t taken during the Craigslist-style new partner parking lot exchange. It was taken at an event a year ago, when Maria was still with Clare. To quote The Ashleys from Recess, “Scandalous!”

Back in 2013, Maria Bello wrote an op-ed piece for The New York Times wherein she announced to the world that she’s bi and was dating her best friend, Clare. Obviously something happened between then and now, because UsWeekly says that Maria isn’t doing Clare anymore. They also say that for the past six months, she’s been having her 48-year-old business worked on by a 29-year-old actor/musician named Elijah Allan-Blitz.

One of Maria’s friends tells UsWeekly that Maria and Elijah were friends before they got together back in August. However, they didn’t mention whether or not Elijah is a scissor-dulling home wrecker of the highest order, which is really too bad, because that’s all a drama-loving trash rat like me cares about. Although if I had to guess, Clare probably figured it out long before it came to that. Besides “getting that dick“, there’s no good reason for why a 48-year-old woman would be in a just-friends situation with a 29-year-old aspiring actor/model pretty boy. Honestly, that sounds like a creative punishment thought up by a judge. “I sentence you to 100 non-sexual hours of listening to this millennial talk about how Diplo is a better DJ than Calvin Harris.”

Here are some more pictures of Maria and Clare and Elijah taken shortly before Elijah made the transition from third wheel to Maria Bello’s full-time boyfriend.

Pics: Wenn.com