Today has been one hell of a hump day for two dark-haired members of the Real Housewives franchise family. In New York City, Bethenny Frankel is joyfully rolling around in a pile of torn-up alimony checks. But across the river in New Jersey, Teresa Giudice is crying salty black eyeliner tears into her mid-afternoon glass of peach Fabellini while screaming “JOOOOOOE!!!“. That’s right, Juicy Joe is now Juicy Prison Inmate Joe.
The Giudice family lawyer confirmed to UsWeekly that Joe Giudice lumbered into the Fort Dix Federal Correctional Institution in New Jersey today at noon to serve his 41 month prison sentence for wire and bankruptcy fraud. Joe was escorted into his home for the next couple of years by Teresa, his brother, his sister, and a bunch of other Giudices. Teresa will look after their four Giudettes while Joe is in the big house, just like how Joe did for Teresa when she was locked up last year.
Maybe it’s because I have the story of another locked-up bottom-rung celebrity degenerate still fresh on my mind, but I can’t help but wonder how Joe will do in prison. I don’t know much about being locked up, but I do know the best way to ensure that nobody fucks with you is to establish yourself as totally fucking crazy. And what better way to prove it than by going around and introducing yourself as Teresa Giudice’s husband. “Don’t piss him off, man – I heard he’s real close with the Babadook-looking table flipper from the Real Housewives of New Jersey.”
Pic: Teresa Giudice