Joe Giudice got to enjoy freedom for all of fifteen seconds, because it’s being reported that after his stint in prison, Joe was picked up by different authorities, this time of the immigration variety, and he was once again detained and he’s going to stay that way for a while. What’s a great way to celebrate completing 41 months in prison? More lock-up time!
Us Weekly and Radar both posted pictures of bodybuilding Housewife of New Jersey, Teresa Giudice, –gasp–holding hands with a boy at a party with her husband Juicy Joe sits in a prison cell! All that glamour just cannot be contained by one man! Someone get the brand! We need to put a scarlet A on this trick ASAP!
Last October, Juicy Joe of the Real Housewives of New Jersey was told by a judge he’s going to be deported back to Italy after serving a 41-month sentence for bankruptcy fraud and tax evasion. In news that should shock absolutely not a single living soul on the planet, Teresa Giudice has apparently said that she will not go to Italy to be with her husband if he’s deported. I am shocked (no I’m not, didn’t you read the first part) that rich-ass television personality Teresa doesn’t want to leave the only country in the world she is mildly relevant in. I am beside myself in astonishment. In other news: Water Is Wet. Continue reading
New Jersey may not be completely devoid of one of its more prominent meatballs. Juicy Joe, the bear responsible for Teresa Giudice spending 2015 in the slammer, got some not-so-great news a few weeks ago from a federal judge. It’s Joe’s turn in jail for committing fraud, and an immigration judge let him know he was being sent back to Italy at the end his prison term since he never became a U.S. citizen despite living here since he as only a one-year-old. While Teresa may have heralded the news that would finally get rid of all that whey protein and pre-workout mix from the pantry (I’m kidding – she was devastated at the thought of losing a member of her onyx palace), Joe isn’t taking the news lying down. He filed an appeal to prevent being shipped back to his mother country.
Shoe polish-hued skin and gorilla hair weaves don’t come cheap! There’s nothing the Internet loves more than cat videos except to drag idiots who post their weekly money diaries. In a move that is sure to make her accountant weep and Uncle Sam rub his hands together and bellow, “HERE WE GO AGAIN!”, Teresa Giudice felt the need to inform the general public she spends $22,077 on her beauty routine. Sorry, Juicy Joe. I guess there’s no money left for your legal fund!
I’ve always wanted to spend part of my life like Diane Lane in Under The Tuscan Sun: slightly jaded, doing time in Italy, and guzzling all the wine. A judge gave Juicy Joe just that opportunity last week by ruling that JJ (also known as Joe Giudice) will have to return to Italy after his prison sentence for bankruptcy fraud and tax evasion is up in 2019 and not in front of a camera for Real Housewives Of New Jersey like his wife, Teresa Giudice, did after her time in the slammer. They served consecutive prison sentences, but unlike Tre, Joe isn’t a U.S. citizen since his parents brought him here from Italy when he was only a one-year-old. There was always the threat of this, but now that it’s official, the Giudice clan is speaking out.