The picture above is from the glory days of Teresa and Joe Giudice’s marriage. It’s long before the prison stints and deportation, back when Joe was still juicy and Teresa was flipping tables and calling Danielle a “whoooweher” on Real Housewives of New Jersey. But it’s time to pour out a lukewarm bottle of Fabellini, because Joe and Teresa have announced they’re splitting up for the time being.
For some reason which I really cannot explain, Joe Giudice decided to awkwardly appear with his wife, Teresa Giudice of Real Housewives of New Jersey on Watch What Happens Live! with Andy Cohen. (SPOILER ALERT: He did it for the check.) Well, he didn’t appear with her physically, at least, since his ass is in Italy after finally getting released from ICE custody while he awaits the decision to deport him from the U.S. for good or not. Joe and Teresa talked about it all: their regrets (they’ve both learned nothing), whether they’ll stay together (there’s no way), and the future (do you care?). And Joe also said that he straight up thinks Teresa was stepping out while he was in jail. Well duh! Like any self-loathing twink who goes to the gym and starts getting attention on Grindr, Teresa didn’t put on all that muscle for nothing!
In a telling example of how prison food is probably on par with the food on Norwegian Spirit’s “Mystical Fjords” boat, Giuseppe “Juicy Joe” Giudice, who used to look like that (above) and went to Italy after being released from ICE custody, looks to have lost a couple of pounds during his recent prison/ICE custody stint.
Giuseppe “Joe” Giudice, aka “Juicy Joe” and husband to histrionic Real Housewife Teresa Giudice, will remain in ICE custody while his deportation appeal case is decided, per a judge’s ruling. TMZ reports that Juicy Joe had petitioned to be released from jail while he waited to find out if he’s actually going to be deported back to Italy or not. Things aren’t looking rosy for ole’ Joe.
Joe Giudice‘s immigration issues have been stalled for a while, which is actually beneficial for him because that means he’s staying in America while they get figured out. The less fun aspect is that he’s not really just chilling in New Jersey with his wife Real Housewives of New Jersey’s Teresa Giudice drinking protein shakes and hiding money–he’s chilling in detention with those people called ICE maybe bouncing a ball against a wall? Maybe he’s listening to other immigrants’ actually-harrowing tales of having to flee their own countries? Either sound super fun. Well, now Joe is thinking that maybe he could just get let go, and then he could wait somewhere not a prison cell while the court figures out if he’s going to be deported to Italy.
Looks like Juicy Joe Giudice of the Real Housewives of New Jersey has been given permission to stay in the country while he continues to fight getting deported to Italy. Meaning he and his wife Teresa Giudice won’t need to divorce after all! Well at least for now, we’ll see where her Real Housewives of New Jersey storyline leads her. Maybe the whole idea of getting her groove back without Joe will lead her there anyway. Or maybe now that he won’t be able to scam the government to keep her living in tacky-luxury she’ll tire of him? Post-prison relationships, amirite?