Hot Sluts Of The Day!
Bandito and Luigi, the real life Milo & Otis!
I don’t know why this keeps happening to all of us, but it’s Monday again and before our already-bruised and battered brains get punched with more shitty news and dragged through a gutter full of smegma, let’s feed it a tiny nugget of adorableness in the form of this story about an adventure starring a pug, a pussy and two hot pieces. Bandito the Pug and Luigi the Puss became Instagram stars after their humans, Sebastian and his partner Finn, created their own page and posted pictures of the 497-mile long journey they took through Spain.
Birthday Sluts
Verdine White (65)
Conor Kennedy (22)
Andrew Caldwell (27)
Michael Welch (29)
James Lafferty (31)
Shantel VanSanten (31)
Tera Patrick (40)
Michael C. Williams (43)
Miriam Shor (45)
D.B. Woodside (47)
Matt LeBlanc (49)
Wendy Raquel Robinson (49)
Illeana Douglas (51)
Bobbie Eakes (55)
Katherine Kelly Lang (55)
Darren Star (55)
Geoffrey Zakarian (57)
Thurston Moore (58)
Iman (61)
Estelle Getty (1923-2008)
Pic: Getty
Open Post: Hosted By Calvin Harris Making Sure He’s Still Involved
Your part is done, Calvin Harris. You can move on now. The Taylor Swift ex and nondescript DJ has posted a Snapchat video of himself lip-synching to Kanye West’s verse on Schoolboy Q’s “That Part.” This could be some shade for his ex as she’s currently….oh you know.
Calvin also could have been emulating Kim Kartrashian, who posted a Snapchat video of her own (do these people ever put their fucking phones down?) in which she mouths the line from “Famous” that has ruined reputations and sparked a culture war! (I’m just trying to psych myself up for having to post about this again. Forgive me.)
Calvin might still be salty over the Snake Squad head spilling the tea on her authorship of his hit single with Rihanna, “This Is What You Came For.” Calvin, have a seat and take a look at this photo. That could have been you. You could have been wearing that. Anyone wearing that has his balls cozied away in a popsicle stick purse that a certain fork-tongued blonde pop star crafted herself at summer camp. You don’t want to be that guy.
Check out Calvin Harris’ video below.
https://youtu.be/OQs_HEZ4sI4
Selena Gomez Is Striving For Self-Actualization
Selena Gomez kicked off the international leg of her Revival Tour in Indonesia last night on her 24th birthday. Birthdays can hit you hard. This one apparently kicked Selena’s ass because she got teary on stage while introducing her closing song “Kill Em’ With Kindness.” Afterwards, she got social media-teary on Instagram. It was some “I need to do better” rambling. Wow, Project “Taylor Swift Has Been Victimized, You Guys” can stress a gal out.
Brie Larson Is Captain Marvel
Room actress (and The Clash at Demonhead lead singer) Brie Larson was confirmed to play Captain Marvel in Marvel’s first solo female superhero movie yesterday at San Diego Comic-Con. Upon hearing this, Scarlett Johansson donned her Black Widow catsuit before showing up at Marvel Studios head Kevin Feige’s house to inquire, “Are you fucking kidding me?”
You can watch Larson’s entrance to Marvel’s Hall H event below. Deadline reports that she’s been rumored to be Marvel’s #1 pick to play Carol Danvers (Captain Marvel’s civilian name) since earlier this summer.
Watch the Hall H crowd freak out as @brielarson is announced as #CaptainMarvel pic.twitter.com/fDMvgLA1ym
— Fandango (@Fandango) July 24, 2016
Oooh, here’s the part where I get to utilize my insane comic book knowledge that prevented me from getting laid in high school! Marvel created Carol Danvers in 1968 as a supporting character to the male Captain Marvel. She got hit by a beam or something and became Ms. Marvel! She was sort of Marvel’s attempt to create the first “feminist” heroine. That translates as a female comic book character who didn’t defer to her boyfriend while constantly calling him “darling” and was allowed to punch things. Ms. Marvel got her own title in 1977, but it didn’t last very long. She was pretty minor until she joined the Avengers in the 80s and has since grown in popularity. They killed the male Captain Marvel off (with cancer, which isn’t very comic-booky) and she finally inherited the name (and a bomb-ass jumpsuit) in 2012. The flick is scheduled to come out in March of 2019. Jesus, I’m going to be piddling into my Depends and Marvel will still be turning the crank on the money machine.
Oscar-winner Brie’s talented so I’m sure she can pull this off. Luckily, she won’t have to wear Captain Marvel’s old costume which consisted of a leotard and the sluttiest superhero boots you’ve ever seen. Check them out in the gallery, along with some of Carol Danver’s other looks over the years (yes, she briefly had a star for a head), and shots of Brie looking decidely un-superheroic while shooting The Glass Castle in Montreal this past week. She looks like her trailer’s septic tank just glitched and she’s having to trudge over to the neighbors to use theirs.
Pics: Wenn.com, Splash, @brielarson
Lindsay Lohan Accused Her Fiancé Of Cheating And Claimed That She’s Pregnant
Lindsay Lohan, perhaps unsatisfied with the amount of attention that her most recent Instagram foolery (think “mail-order brides for peace“) afforded her, called her fiancé out for cheating in a multi-platform social media meltdown. In multiple posts, Linds begged her Russian millionaire betrothed Egor Tarabasov to come home from the club, and accused him of cheating on her with a Russian hooker. Isn’t that sort of thing how she met him? Oh, and she also claimed that she’s pregnant. I’ll wait while you microwave a breakfast burrito because a lot went down.