It’s The End Of An Era: Richard Simmons’ Studio Is Closing

/ October 21, 2016

I almost titled this post “RIP Richard Simmons’ Studio,” but I don’t want to be responsible for the medical bills you’d rack up from going into cardiac arrest after reading, “RIP Richard Simmons.”

TMZ has let us know that if you haven’t already, you will never be able to wipe glitter out of your eyes while watching the magical dandelion in Dolfin shorts, Richard Simmons, sweat the chunk away at his studio in Beverly Hills, CA. Richard hasn’t been seen at his studio for years and now there’s zero chance of him going back since it’s closing its door forever next month. In notices sent to members, Slimmons announced that on November 19th, Los Angeles County will be a lot less glamorous, magical and fun.

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Some SF Giants Fans Are Blaming Taylor Swift For Their Recent World Series Elimination

/ October 21, 2016

I’m sure this picture of Taylor Swift wearing the team colors isn’t helping. According to The Oregonian, several San Francisco Giants fans are pissed at Taylor and itt turns out it’s because she messed up their World Series superstition by not releasing an album this year. Curse you, Taylor Swift!

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Open Post: Hosted By The Bassett Hound Who’s Embarrassed By Her Human’s Outfit

/ October 21, 2016

Woe is Millie Clooney. The one day her humans decided to trot her out in front of the paps is the one day Amal Clooney decides to dress up like a rejected That ’70s Show extra. Millie Clooney is making the face that every little kid makes when they’re hanging out with their friends in front of the school and their mom pulls up in a dirty, bird-shit covered car with curlers in her hair and blasting some busted song. They think to themselves, “I hope she doesn’t see me, I hope she doesn’t see me, I hope she does- Oh shit, she just screamed my name.”

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Yes, I know that Bassett Hounds just naturally make that face, but I’d like to believe that Millie is extra embarrassed by Amal looking like she’s about to break out into I Think I Love You at any second.

George Clooney is currently directing Suburbicon in Los Angeles, and yesterday, Amal visited the set with their newest dog child Millie Clooney. This is probably going to be the last time that Amal Clooney brings Millie around the paps, because Millie easily stole the show and used her eyes to throw hate at those ugly jeans.

And really, Millie is living the life. She gets all the free tequila she wants and she doesn’t have to strain her legs by walking up stairs since she’s got a human slave named George Clooney to carry her up. I need Millie Clooney to teach me her ways.

Pics: Wenn.com

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Lady Gaga Refuses To Be Compared To Madonna, Goddammit!

/ October 21, 2016

Lady Gaga’s out there pimping her new album Joanne, which came out today, so you know what that means? It’s time for round 499 of the Gaga v. Madge bitch battle!

During a radio talk with Zane Lowe on Apple Music Beats 1 (via HuffPo), Lady Gaga’s absolute favorite subject, her being the Maxie to Madonna’s Barbie, came up and bitch didn’t like it all. Gaga looked so strained that I thought her new face was going to pop right off, fly across the table and hit Zane like a rubber pancake hitting the wall.

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And Here’s Tilda Swinton Giving You Extraterrestrial Evening Gown Competition Realness

/ October 21, 2016

Benedict Cumberbatch’s new creation wasn’t the only star at the Hollywood premiere of Doctor Strange last night. Tilda Swinton, high priestess of otherworldly fashion, showed up to the premiere in this. For a movie with the word strange in the title, Tilda’s look wasn’t nearly as unusual as I was expecting. Then again, she probably decided to keep it simple (by Tilda’s standards, at least) because there’s no way she could top the strangeness of being cast as a Tibetan man. Whatever the reason, Tilda is really telling a story with her dress, and that story is of an alien pageant queen whose style inspiration comes solely from pirated transmissions of Dynasty reruns. Sadly, the Moussed Elegance wig she ordered from her planet’s version of Amazon.com didn’t arrive in time for her latest pageant.

However, she did managed to inject some weirdness into her ensemble.

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