Open Post: Hosted By A Pantless Babs On W Magazine
Apologies to those of you sucio furries who saw that headline and grabbed the Vaseline because you thought I was going to give you pictures of a grown and pantless Babs Bunny.
W Magazine gave easy listening queens an early holiday gift today when they released the cover for their December issue starring Barbra Streisand in nothing but a men’s shirt, a tie, half of a blazer, L’Eggs and pumps. Barbra’s legs are like Photoshopped buttah in pantyhose. I bet that seeing Barbra Streisand in a men’s shirt and tie is giving her #1 fan John Travolta the weirdest leaky boner ever.
Barbra also did an interview and she said this about whether or not she graciously graces her shower with her cholesterol-raising angelic voice.
Do you sing in the shower?
No. I don’t sing around the house or anywhere. I never sing unless it’s for a purpose, like fundraising or making a record.
In other words, when Barbra opens up her mouth and releases solid gold musical notes, either she’s getting a check or a charity’s getting a check out of it. If Barbra ever slipped up and sang around the house when her man James Brolin happened to be there, she’d probably hand him an invoice and the total due on it would be $25 million and one of his good kidneys. That’s the going rate for a private Streisand concert, right?
Charlie Sheen Wrote A Poem About Brooke Mueller
Charlie Sheen has released a statement about the very messy and sad situation that his ex-wife Brooke Mueller and their 7-year-old twin sons found themselves in this week in Salt Lake City, Utah. And in true “Charlie Sheen always makes it messier” fashion, his statement comes in the form of a nonsense poem released exclusively to People magazine.
Stanley Kubrick’s Daughter Wants Everyone To Keep Their Eyeballs Away From Dr. Phil’s Shelley Duvall Interview
Every new Dr. Phil promo is depressing because it means that his face is still terrorizing TV screens. But his promo of his interview with Shelley Duvall was extra depressing. Shelley is on tomorrow’s episode of Dr. Phil and she’s clearly mentally ill and has been for a while. Like many, Vivian Kubrick, the daughter of Stanley Kubruck (who directed Shelley in The Shining), got grossed out by the promo and called for a boycott. Vivian tweeted an open letter to the diabolical dick head and called his interview with Shelley “lurid and exploitive entertainment.” Vivian must be new, because she obviously doesn’t know that when you call Dr. Phil’s show “exploitive,” he answers back with, “Why, thank you!”
Kaley Cuoco Admits That She Had A Nose Job
Nearly two years ago, Kaley Cuoco set an attention trap by Instagramming a picture of herself in a hospital bed covering her nose and claiming she was having “sinus surgery.” Obviously it didn’t take long for people to poke Kaley and let her know that she spelled “nose job” wrong. Kaley slapped back at everyone accusing her of trying to cover up a nose job and said: “If I DID get a nose job (which I didn’t) I would be shouting that from the rooftops.” Kaley was technically telling the truth when she said she didn’t get a nose job on that particular day. She just left out the part about how she had already had one done years ago.
“Duck Dynasty” Is Going Away After 11 Seasons
If whoever put together that masterpiece ad lost their job, may Mariah Carey’s Photoshop team hire them immediately because they have some next-level skills.
Cabela’s answer to ZZ Top (aka The Robertson family) pulled out their hunting rifles and shot down their show Duck Dynasty after 5 years and 130 episodes. All of the ducks in Louisiana did a celebratory conga line…. until they realized that only the show is gone, not the family and so they flew for their lives while trying to remember to not get horny when Phil Robertson blows his family’s mating call whistle.
Kate Upton’s Man Didn’t Win Some Award So She Went Off
God bless the big-tittied blonde model that IS Kate Upton for fighting for what’s really important in this country. Just so we’re all clear, Kate Upton thinks it’s wrong and disrespectful for anyone to protest against racism in this country by kneeling down during the national anthem. But Kate Upton thinks it’s okay to curse out baseball writers over the illegal INJUSTICE of her baseball-playing man losing an award.