A few months after Avril Lavigne said see ya later boi to her second husband Chad Kroeger, there were rumors that she was drying her tears on a Zumiez hoodie belonging to Ryan Cabrera. Then in August, Avril and Ryan were seen having a “romantic” dinner together. Ryan swore they were just roommates doing regular roommate things. Avril and Ryan were recently seen having another one of those romantic roommate dinners, which is going to make it a whole lot harder for them to convince people they’re just roommates.

E! News says Avril and Ryan spent Monday night “getting cozy” at a restaurant in NYC. A source tells E! they were also hugging and kissing. Unless you found your roommate by answering one of those weird “Looking for full-time snuggle buddy” Craigslist ads, that’s not very roommate-y. The source says Avril and Ryan seemed in love. I’m going to assume that means they killed time between starters and mains by writing each other’s names in Sharpie on the toes of their Converse high tops.

Neither Avril nor Ryan have come out and said they’re the Jack Skellington to the other’s Sally (that’s Hot Topic’s definition of relationship goals). Avril is still technically married Chad Kroeger, so maybe she’s old-fashioned and is keeping her new relationship on the down-low until she’s officially divorced. Or maybe Avril is in a Tilda Swinton-style situation where she’s got a husband and a boyfriend. If so, I hope for the sake of their washing machine they never all get together and have a threesome. There would be just so many clumps of peroxide-bleached hairs clogging up the drain after they wash their sheets.

Pic: Splash

Tax-evading Twitter mess Iggy Azalea was given the Woman of the Year Award at GQ Australia’s Men of the Year Awards. That’s right, of all the women in the world, Iggy Azalea was given the trophy. And don’t say it’s because GQ Australia wanted to give the award to an Australian; a good percentage of Iggy’s body parts have been made in America.

UsWeekly says Iggy began her acceptance speech by bragging to the audience that she’s won many awards over the years. Like, okay Iggy, we get it, you’ve got a Radio Disney award. But she tells the GQ Awards audience that this is the first time she can brag about having an award-winning vagina, then said it was “amazing” that she’s got the “best vagina in the world.” Ummmm, correct me if I’m wrong, but a Woman of the Year award doesn’t necessarily mean GQ thinks Iggy has the best vagina of 2016, does it? I thought you had to go to the Hustler Center Honors to receive that kind of award.

You can watch the first part of Iggy’s acceptance speech below.

About six seconds into Iggy’s speech, everyone in the audience became confused and wondered who the hell that was up there accepting that award before someone from GQ hopped on stage and yanked back their award. “I don’t know who you are, but you can’t be the real Iggy Azalea. I mean, we understood everything you were saying when you spoke into the microphone!”

Pic: GQ Australia

Aldo Nova!

I’ll wait here as you quickly run to your office bathroom to pull down your pants and furiously fan your down-low parts, which definitely started throbbing and gushing after laying your eyes on that Canadian sex rod in an early-80s mom mullet.  Bring your phone with you just in case the fanning doesn’t work. Just show your parts any current political story and it will dry and shrivel right up.

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RuPaul (56)
Rocsi Diaz (33)
Sarah Harding (35)
Isaac Hanson (36)
Zoe Bell (38)
Rachel McAdams (38)
Leslie Bibb (42)
Kimya Dawson (44)
David Ramsey (45)
Ronnie DeVoe (49)
Daisy Fuentes (50)
Sophie Marceau (50)
Dylan Walsh (53)
Jonathan Ross (56)
Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio (58)
Roland Joffe (71)
Danny DeVito (72)
Lorne Michaels (72)
Lauren Hutton (73)
Martin Scorsese (74)
Gordon Lightfoot (78)
Rock Hudson (1925-1985)

Pic: Pinterest

Prince Hot Ginge and Future Princess Meghan haven’t been together for that long, but a source (aka one of THE QUEEN’s shiftier Corgis) tells UsWeekly that he’s already said, “I love you.” Hmmm… Are we sure that PHG said them to Meghan? Are we really sure that he didn’t say those words to a bottle of Grey Goose that just so happened to be next to her on a table? – Lainey Gossip

Now that St. Angie Jolie is mostly out of the picture, Brad Pitt and George Clooney’s beautiful bromance is blooming again – Celebitchy

Bella Thorne or that chick from Paramore? – Drunken Stepfather

Bethenny Frankel tweeted about trying to adopt a 5-year-old girl – Reality Tea

Okay, but in Brit Brit Spears’ defense, I doubt Larry King even knows who Kathy Griffin is and he’s sitting right across from her – The Superficial 

Since Jennifer Aniston’s hard nips are always making an appearance on the pap stroll, I’m disappointed that she hasn’t found a way to use them to market a product like Aveeno erect nipple cream, or something – The Nip Slip 

Pictures of Nick Jonas’ cum gutters are already splattered all over the internet, but tell me more about this 48 hours of sex stuff…. –  Towleroad

Anna Kendrick’s Playboy spread looks more like ads for Imodium – Hollywood Tuna

If your parents voted for Trump, Michael Shannon thinks you need to declare yourself an orphan, cut them off and come over to his house for Thanksgiving. That’s what he meant, right? – Pajiba

That sun on Natalie Portman’s bump scares me – Popoholic

If this hot gardener ever needs someone to whack his weed, I volunteer as tribute – Boy Culture 

Frank Ocean used the word “lagniappe” when talking about why he doesn’t want to fuck with the Grammys. I just…. – Jezebel

Presenting… Lana Del Cyrus – Popsugar

Michael Douglas apologized to Val Kilmer for telling the world that he has throat cancer when he doesn’t – Just Jared

When you’re at the pool and have to get to a formal event real quick, take a tip from Ariel Winter and just throw a baggy suit over your two-piece and call it good – IDLYITW

Shelley Duvall’s last acting role was in a 2002 movie called Manna From Heaven and she retired from Hollywood right after making it. The National Enquirer said a few years ago that Shelley was living in Blanco, TX and was seriously suffering from mental illness. Shelley’s neighbors supposedly said that they’ve seen her shuffle around town and talk to herself about the aliens that are living in her body. (“Hmmm, why does that sound familiar?” said anybody who’s read about Scientology.) Shelley allegedly thought that a hole in her backyard was a portal to another dimension and believed she could communicate with the aliens by flashing her car lights. Shelley has been THROUGH. IT. Well, I guess the smarmy rotten egg we all call Dr. Phil doesn’t think that she’s been through enough, because he got her to look at his punchable face for a long period of time while interviewing her.

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