Last year, 34-year-old Zac Efron popped back up on the scene and everybody looked over at him like, “Um… when did Rob Lowe de-age himself?” because Zac’s jaw was looking a little… different. While we may have been thinking it was due to some kind of jaw procedure that only rich people would ever participate in, he claimed that it was actually the result of an accident. Zac is talking a bit more about that accident and apparently, it almost killed him. This is interesting because, after the alleged incident, Zac then went on to do a show called Killing Zac Efron so he must have got a taste for the near-death experience!

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It’s been one year since R. Kelly was found guilty of racketeering and sex trafficking charges in New York. So how did Lady Justice decide to celebrate the one-year anniversary of R. Kelly finally getting hit with a GO TO FUCKING PRISON card? Well, Lady Justice celebrated by serving up more justice. Yesterday in Chicago, a jury declared that R. Kelly is guilty of several “child pornography counts” and “several counts of enticement of a minor to engage in criminal sexual activity.” 55-year-old R. Kelly is already serving a 30-year prison sentence in NY, and now he’s facing another 10 to 90 years in the chokey. So if you’re ever down in the dumps and need a quick pick-me-up, just remind yourself that R. Kelly will probably rot in prison.

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Another one bites the dust, Hollywood Marriage Edition. Hotties, 36-year-old Brittany Snow and 33-year-old Tyler Stanaland have announced they are divorcing after two years of marriage and four years of being together total. I think two years is a solid start for a first marriage. Any Hollywood marriage that cracks the full-year mark is pretty remarkable, right?

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The fact that Quinta Brunson rose from the realm of internet skits to being awarded an Emmy for her hilarious hit show Abbott Elementary is an inspiration to anyone writing comedy (ie: ME!). However her moment was stolen by the antics of overgrown teenager Jimmy Kimmel, as he chose to remain on the ground after a bit with Will Arnet during her acceptance speech. First of all Jimmy, you’re way too old for these kinds of shenanigans. Secondly, nobody is pleased with the way you tried to make Quinta’s moment all about you. And one of those folks is Sheryl Lee Ralph, who won her first Emmy for her role in Abbott before giving a rousing speech that’s still inspiring everyone. Now, Sheryl is speaking out about Jimmy’s sad Life Alert re-enactment by saying she thought it was just plain disrespectful.

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Last month, Tommy Lee posted a picture of his poodle noodle dick for free on Instagram and Twitter for the zero of you out there who haven’t seen it. Well, if you looked at that picture of Tommy Lee’s Brontosaurus neck peen, and thought, “I really wish I was paying $39.95 to see this,” your wish has come true. During a Mötley Crüe show in Las Vegas over the weekend, Tommy Lee announced to the audience that he’s joining OnlyFans by turning around, pulling down his chonies, and nearly presenting hole to show off the words “Only Fans” written on his ass cheeks. I read it as “Only Farts” and that’s pretty fitting. I mean, Tommy Lee charging almost $40 a month for his OnlyFans is a load of hot butt air. On the other hand, if Tommy Lee JONES charged $39.95 a month for his OnlyFans, that would be a steal! – NME

We almost missed out on Sheryl Lee Ralph’s performance in Abbott Elementary and her Emmys speech, which was so powerful it probably knocked the angels off of their angel feet in heaven, because she nearly quit acting 15 years ago if it wasn’t for a casting director who dropped some thought-fuel into her brain – Celebitchy

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