As the never-ending saga that is Meghan Markle and Prince Harry (and what they actually do now that they threw up deuces at the idea of being royalty forever) continues, we’re still managing to catch a few more glimpses into their no-longer-public-life. And this time, Meghan is spilling her thoughts on how moving back to America amid quarantine and the general dumpster fire situation, Harry has clearly had his fill of avocados and sunburns because he apparently hates everything about Los Angeles and couldn’t wait to take his ass to Montecito instead.

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The Dodgers’ Schedule!

In these times, most of us look at the week ahead see nothing but stinky ass. And the same goes for the Los Angeles Dodgers, only it was spelled out for them. While last week was all about WAP, this weekend and next week is all about AAASSSS for the Dodgers.

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Sarah Haines (the blond on the left, although you may have trouble seeing her from being blinded by Dolly Parton’s stunning glamour) was on The View from 2016 to 2018, but I guess she missed that non-stop ringing in her ears from all the yelling. Because when The View comes back next month, she’ll once again be a permanent co-host along with Whoopi Goldberg, Joy Behar, Sunny Hostin, and Meghan “My Father John” McCain. Hopefully, Sarah is investing in some steel thigh covers so that she doesn’t stab herself with her nails while digging her hands into herself to keep from rolling her eyes at every other thing that comes out of Meghan McCain’s mouth – Variety

Shawn Mendes is working the same hairstyle my little friend Samantha worked in the third grade in the 80s. So what I’m saying is that it is almost the look. And I say “almost” because he’s obviously missing some butterfly clips – Lainey Gossip 

28-year-old Cara Delevingne and 18-year-old Kaia Gerber got matching “solemate” tattoos on their feet, and that means they’re either a thing or they’ve got the friendship of grade school girls from the 90s. “Ewww, we’d never do something cheesy like that!” said grade school friends from the 90s before buying matching BFF heart pendants – Celebitchy

Oh it’s just Olivia Munn looking like she’s wearing no bottoms while standing around in someone’s front yard – Popoholic

Even Annabelle the evil doll wants out of this bitch – Pajiba

In case you needed a reminder that getting near bison is the opposite of a good decision – Towleroad

FYI, Kelly Ripa would always be naked if she had a body like her daughter’s – Just Jared

Pic: ABC

Katy Perry is STILL pregnant with a baby, but today, she gave birth to another kind of baby, a terrifying clown baby in the form of her video for Smile. In Katy’s video for Never Worn White, she revealed that she’s pregnant with Orlando Bloom’s baby, and in her video for Smile, she revealed that she’s a big fan of commercials for children’s game apps, which is what the video looks like. And if Zoloft and Lexapro needed a theme song they should send Katy a check right now, because this is it!

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While the Up grandpa’s lawyers start working on an intellectual property lawsuit, we’re learning that David Blaine is preparing to fly high over the sky in the name of helium-inflated spherical magic! This will be David’s first stunt in almost ten years and will involve him hanging from a bunch of balloons. And much like all of David’s stunts, this one’s dangerous enough to put his life at risk.

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