Category:
Open Post: Hosted By Ralphie The Demon Dog’s Happy Ending
When we last checked in with Ralphie the “demon dog” of Niagara, he had bullied his adopted home so much that the boy got put into reform school. Don’t let the adorable face fool you. Ralphie is a certified “whole jerk-not even half.” Well, he WAS a whole jerk. After spending time in the big house, Ralphie has cleaned up his act! Not only that, but he’s also found his forever home!
Jane Fonda Says That Jennifer Lopez Still Hasn’t Apologized To Her For Accidentally Cutting Her Eyebrow While Filming “Monster-In-Law”
Back in 2005, the criticality-watched film Monster-in-Law blessed the movie-going public by putting two titans of acting on the same screen: Jane Fonda and Elaine Stritch. However, they were only in like two scenes together. The rest of the time, you were subjected to Anaconda’s Jennifer Lopez. If you thought sitting through a JLo joint for $12.50 (adjusted for inflation) was a struggle, at least you didn’t get a diamond-encrusted slap in the face for your troubles! According to Jane, during the famous slap scene, Jenny was being a little too real and ended up giving her a cut on her million-dollar face. Worse yet, the Superbowl singer never apologized for it!
Open Post: Hosted By The Dog Who Ate A Fitbit And Went For A “20-Minute Bike Ride”
If you have a pet, you know what it’s like to lose something only to discover your furry friend destroyed/hid/ate it. Animals simply don’t grasp the concept of capitalism and how much you paid for that limited-edition throw pillow from West Elm! And of all of God’s creatures, dogs are notorious for messing with your stuff. Michigan resident Marie Fournier experienced the disappearance of her beloved Fitbit and concluded that it was gone forever. That is until the exercise app began to log mysterious activities, which led to her finding the thief: Harley the Golden Retriever!
Tyga (Allegedly) Buys Avril Lavigne An $80,000 Necklace
Musician and suspected clone Avril Lavigne is having an interesting time when it comes to relationships. Around this time last year, Avril was a happily engaged woman to Razzie winner Mod Sun. But cut to a few weeks ago, and Avril was officially happily single, having unconsciously uncoupled with her ex-fiancé who discovered the news via TMZ photos. Now Avril is happily hooking up with Tyga of rapping and Kardashian drama fame. If only she would drop the rock fashion from 2001 like she drops men!
Open Post: Hosted By Gym Bros Eating Dog Food For Protein
Going to the gym is hard. You gotta find the right place that meets your needs, find the right time to go, figure out the right workout routine, and eat the right foods to support your healthy lifestyle. The rewards, like a better quality of life, are pretty cool, but sometimes waking up at 6 am to go to a spin class where an impossibly fit lady with a serial killer smile shouts at you to go faster makes you second guess if it’s all worth it. That is if you’re normal. Other people like to make their fitness life as harrowing as possible. Take, for instance, “fitness influencers” who decided that because of the high levels of protein in it, dog food would be a good option for gym gains. It’s like the Tide Pod thing but instead of Zoomers, it’s gym bros.
Gwyneth Paltrow Clarifies That She Eats More Than Bone Broth
To some, wellness means caring for your mind, body, and soul and approaching things with a balanced mindset. To others, it means an opportunity to lord over those peons who gorge on the recommended intake of 2000 calories a day and don’t have a team of on-call skincare specialists! Gwyneth Paltrow recently shared the secret to how she manages to stay so thin, pleasant and grounded: bone broth and coffee. Unfortunately, GOOP naysayers came for her, saying ludicrous things like “you can’t stay alive just eating broth” and “this is giving eating disorder.” Gwyneth shot back at haters saying to get the rectal ozone stick out of their asses because, ACTUALLY, she eats human food sometimes!