Let’s take some time out of all the negative stories about silly celebrity beefs, ongoing Twitter wars and pervy Hollywood execs to welcome Rosie O’Donnell into the wonderful world of second-generation parenting because she now has a brand new granddaughter. It seems like it was just yesterday when Rosie and her daughter Chelsea were fighting and Chelsea ran away to live with a heroin dealer and later trashed Rosie to The Daily Mail. Wait, did I say we were taking time out from negative shit?
The badge trumps the vag! 56-year-old Rosie O’Donnell got secret engaged over the summer to her 33-year-old Woostah (also known as Worcester), Massachusetts police officer girlfriend, Elizabeth Rooney. The two have kept it hush-hush until now because Elizabeth is a cop and tries keep details of her life involving Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s BFF on the DL since there’s nothing worse than trying to arrest someone who is like, “Hey, aren’t you the fuzz getting married to that ladywho quit The View twice?” Well, Liz-with-a-z’s job commitment might also be preventing the two from shacking up in the same house. See? That U-Haul lesbian stereotype is false!
Last August, Rosie O’Donnell got into a really messy, very public battle with her 17-year-old adopted daughter Chelsea O’Donnell. But Rosie and Chelsea recently reunited, and it looks like things aren’t nearly as shitty between them as they were last year.
Rosie’s relationship breakdown with her daughter was like a soap opera with an unlimited story budget. Chelsea went missing with her therapy dog Bear, and was later found by police hiding at the home of a 25-year-old alleged heroin dealer she met on Tinder. Chelsea didn’t go back home. Instead, she moved in with her biological mother and accused Rosie of smoking weed and ignoring her. Rosie accused Chelsea of being off her meds. We didn’t hear anything about Rosie and Chelsea for a very long time. Then on Monday, TMZ says Rosie was seen with Chelsea and her daughter Vivienne on Fran Drescher’s Cancer Schmancer cabaret boat cruise in New York. As you can see from the picture below, Chelsea – the one on the left with Ariel hair – and Rosie sort of appear to be getting along now. No word on if they’re living together again; at the moment they’re just sitting near each other.
I know taking a picture with someone you used to hate doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t hate them anymore. I’m sure we’ve all thrown on a tight awkward smile and muttered “Just take the picture” through clenched teeth before. But the fact that they were on a boat is kind of a big clue that Rosie and Chelsea might be good. Think about it: would you voluntarily choose to be stuck on a floating barf barge listening to Fran Drescher screeching out “Lullaby of Broadway” with a person you really really hate? No, of course not. The boat is one thing, because booze. But Fran? That’s a choice no one makes lightly.
Rosie O’Donnell’s 18-year-old daughter Chelsea O’Donnell isn’t living at home anymore and she’s been cut off, so she’s gotta make that money by spilling her side of the messiness to The Daily Mail.
Back in August, Rosie declared on Twitter that her daughter Chelsea, who was 17 at the time, had gone missing. Police later found Chelsea O’Donnell hiding in the attic of a 25-year-old dude she met on Tinder. Rosie went after the Tinder dude by tweeting about how he was arrested for heroin possession once. A quick minute after Chelsea returned to Rosie’s house, she left again and went off to Wisconsin to live with her biological mother. Rosie reportedly cut Chelsea off money-wise. Chelsea has since moved to New Jersey to live with the Tinder dude and his family. Chelsea gave her side of the story and more (read: it’s LONG) to The Daily Mail and of course, Rosie isn’t exactly burping up sunshine and rainbows about it.
Recently, the universe decided that we needed a new couple that redefines “random” and so it pulled out Rosie O’Donnell’s name from a hat and pulled out Tatum O’Neal’s name from another hat and BOOM. A new random couple was born.
Rosie O’Donnell’s rep denies that she’s humping on Tatum O’Neal and says that the two have been strictly friends for years. But People says that they’re more than just friends and Tatum has given Rosie a coochie to cry on as she heals from the sad shit that went down with her daughter.
Tatum said a few months ago that she’s been doing the backstroke in the lady pond recently. Rosie O and Tatum O went to the opening of the Hamilton on Broadway last month and they supposedly had an “intimate” dinner afterward. The source says that their love is bi-coastal and when they’re not doing it in Nyack, they’re doing it in Los Angeles. The source said this about The Double O:
“They are romantically involved. It’s a bicoastal relationship. They are confidantes. They are hanging out. They have seen each other on both coasts, in Nyack and in Los Angeles.”
Page Six says that Rosie O jokingly called Tatum O “her new wife” at the opening of Hamilton. The Daily Mail also posted screenshots of tweets that Rosie O re-tweeted about Tatum O. Yup, that obviously means they’re fucking. Rosie O is still technically married to her second wife Michelle Rounds. They broke up earlier this year and are going through a messy divorce.
If these two really are together, then their union has all the makings of a mess waiting to explode. When they’re not screaming at each other, they’ll be make-up munching and when they’re not make-up munching, they’ll be screaming at each other until their mouths fall off. They’re going to be like Chico’s version of Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan.
Just a few days after Rosie O’Donnell’s teenage daughter Chelsea was discovered by police hiding in the house of a 25-year-old dude she met on Tinder, she has left home again. TMZ says that Chelsea turned 18 on Monday and she spent her birthday driving to Wisconsin to live with her born mother Deanna Micoley for a while. Rosie didn’t exactly give her blessing and an already messy situation just got another layer of messy added to it.
Chelsea became a part of Rosie’s family in 1997 and she didn’t have any contact with Deanna until last year. Chelsea tracked her down and the two have been talking ever since. TMZ says that on Monday, Deanna drove from Wisconsin to New York to pick up Chelsea. Rosie didn’t want Chelsea to go, but she went anyway. Rosie responded to that by cutting her off financially. Rosie is also keeping Chelsea’s birth certificate and social security card.
A few months ago, Deanna went to The National Enquirer and accused Rosie of “stealing” Chelsea in 1997. Deanna claims she was high on the bad shit at the time she gave birth to Chelsea and her then husband forced her to give the baby up for adoption. Deanna thinks that Rosie must’ve known that she was fucked up on drugs and was in no condition to make a giant decision like putting her baby up for adoption. Deanna said at the time that Rosie didn’t like Chelsea talking to her and tried to tear them apart:
“Rosie wants to paint me as a horrible person and says adopting Chelsea saved her from a life of misery. Rosie even hired someone to dig up my criminal record and gave it to Chelsea. But bless her heart, Chelsea told me the past was the past, and she loves me!”
This whole situation is a wreck, but leaving home because you’re pissed at your mom is pretty common. I did it and I lasted about 45 minutes. Also, I have a feeling Chelsea will go back to Rosie’s house after spending 2 hours waiting in the line from hell to get a new birth certificate and social security card.
And this mess is giving me “Losing Isaiah” vibes. Only in this version, Halle Berry is a white lady from Wisconsin, Jessica Lange is Rosie O’Donnell and Isaiah is a teenage ginger whose Tinder friend is in jail for allegedly texting her a dick pic.