Grab your penchant for white wine and cover-ups for MURDER because the ladies of Monterey are coming back. HBO officially picked up Big Little Lies for another season.
This should come as a shock to no one since every member of the cast, including Miss “I’d Rather Be Reading” Shailene Woodley, was on board to return. Rumors had been percolating for a while that the network was ready to greenlight a second season since they have to figure out how to stay ahead in the Emmy game once Game Of Thrones goes off the air. And since Reese Witherspoon would love nothing more than to have an Emmy of her own to pose with in her Crate and Barrel ads.
The American Music Awards aired on CBS last night in order for you to have something to talk about with your weird cousin Trisha over Thanksgiving weekend. The AMA’s are the perfect empty vessel in which to hold your familial conversational obligations. That said, a few attendees did come to slay. Like Hailee Steinfeld, who, thanks to that leather bra and sharp shoulder pad situation, is seen giving you The Bodyguard starring a young Joan Crawford.
The difference between goddesses and us peasants is that when peasants like myself wake up with a giant purple ruffled wart on our shoulder, we go down to the free clinic with a list of our past fuck partners while trying to remember which one of them rubbed their dirty dick on our shoulder. But when goddesses wake up with a giant purple ruffed wart on their shoulder, they work it to the core at an event and bring the people to their knees.
Iman put the glamour in Glamour’s Women of the Year Awards in NYC last night when she slid along the red carpet in a Christian Siriano gown that made her look like that ultra glamorous Jurassic Park dinosaur if that ultra glamorous Jurassic Park dinosaur got a fairy godmother to turn them into a human goddess. Iman also looks like the most gorgeous venus fly trap that ever sprouted from the earth, and if they ever do that Little Shop of Horrors remake, she can play Audrey II. But instead of eating humans, she causes them to pass out from the power of her pose skills.
Here’s more from last night’s Women of the Year Awards. Nobody can touch Iman and her ruffled fortune cookie, but I am into Nicole Kidman’s tits beneath my wings dress.
Big Little Lies walked away with a closetful of Emmys this year, and HBO did the wise thing and decided to let everyone appreciate it for the art it was and tucked it away in the vault next to The Sopranos. Kidding, they’re totally bringing it back for a second season. Continue reading
And this post is going to be extraordinarily complimentary of witches because I don’t want piles, my car to explode, or Trump winning another election. A beautiful obviously misunderstood real-life witch supposedly placed a real-life curse on Practical Magic, the movie where Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock played witch sisters who liked margaritas. The book was good but the movie was incomprehensible to critics and considered a flop despite a healthy showing at the box office. Since then, it’s become sort of a cult classic. Practical Magic director Griffin Dunne did an interview with Vulture, where he explained that this movie got savaged by the critics because of a witch he hired as a consultant. That poor witch! Getting blamed for Griffin’s ineptitude! Leave witches alone
OR THEY WILL CURSE YOU AND YOU OR SOMEONE YOU LOVE WILL DIE! Continue reading
Emmys night this year was a big night for Big Little Lies, and the cast was elated to the point where Nicole Kidman laid a big ol’ kiss on Alexander Skarsgård right in front of her husband, Keith Urban. And now she has some ‘splaining to do. Continue reading