Category: Kate Upton

Kate Upton Married Her Baseball Player Boyfriend

November 5, 2017 / Posted by:

What happens to those hats if they DON’T win? Do they become collector’s items? Isn’t that a little Dewey Defeats Truman of them?

Model and Twitter activist Kate Upton married her longtime boyfriend, World Series-winning Houston Astros pitcher Justin Verlander, in what E! describes as a “lavish Italian wedding” yesterday. Justin’s kind of having the best week ever, huh? He won a World Series ring and he married the woman that man straight guys in the world fap over. The afterglow will probably dim the next time he gets pulled from the mound and his new wife gets indignant and jiggles her way over to Twitter to tweet for the coach’s arrest because it’s a national disgrace

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Nicki Minaj Brought Rich Vampire Realness To The AmfAR Gala

May 26, 2017 / Posted by:

The annual Cannes amfAR Gala for AIDS research was held last night, and it’s an event that truly brings out the best attempts in fashion. This is what Nicki Minaj looked like, and I love it all. The Morticia Addams hair paired with the un-dead boudoir eleganza from Roberto Cavalli and the ten pounds of diamonds makes her look like Vampira’s money-hungry hustler sister Scampira. Watch out, rich dudes – she’ll suck the life out of you and your bank account!

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Thankfully A Bit More Effort Was Put Into The Fashions After The Oscars

February 27, 2017 / Posted by:

We all know that when it comes to dressing for the Oscars, everyone takes it very seriously. They put on a tux or fancy gown that definitely didn’t come with a check attached to the garment bag. Most of the time the result is a one-way ticket to Zzzzzz town (see: a good 75% of the looks from last night). But then everyone gets to let loose at Vanity Fair’s annual Oscar afterparty and put on what they really want to wear (see: The Gold Standard). Like many people at the Vanity Fair party, Diane Kruger wasn’t at the Oscars and she showed up wearing that. 

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Kate Upton Ended Up Getting All Three Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Covers

February 15, 2017 / Posted by:

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Finally, a swimsuit issue cover we can all relate to! I mean, who of us hasn’t spent a vacation splashing around in the ocean in white bikini bottoms and Liberace’s motorcycle jacket?

Last week Page Six reported that Kate Upton might have screwed herself out of the cover of Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit Edition by demanding the cover, because she’s an actress now, which means she’s im-por-tant. It was rumored that there would be three covers, and that the other two were likely to go to Serena Williams and Christie Brinkley. Well, Sports Illustrated released this year’s Swimsuit Edition covers yesterday, and Kate got all three.

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Kate Upton’s Diva Antics May Have Cost Her A Sports Illustrated Cover

February 7, 2017 / Posted by:

On Monday, Sports Illustrated will release their annual Swimsuit Edition, and we as a people will once again be disappointed by the fact that a G-string wearing Idris Elba isn’t on the cover. Why isn’t it ever a man?! SEXIST EDITION is more like it. But anyway, Page Six says that like last year, SI is planning three different covers. The covers will supposedly star Serena Williams, Lady Dorian Gray and maybe Kate Upton. That’s if Kate Upton’s alleged diva ways didn’t screw her out of a cover.

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Kate Upton’s Man Didn’t Win Some Award So She Went Off

November 17, 2016 / Posted by:

God bless the big-tittied blonde model that IS Kate Upton for fighting for what’s really important in this country. Just so we’re all clear, Kate Upton thinks it’s wrong and disrespectful for anyone to protest against racism in this country by kneeling down during the national anthem. But Kate Upton thinks it’s okay to curse out baseball writers over the illegal INJUSTICE of her baseball-playing man losing an award.

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