Everybody has that one friend who is always trying to do too much. They want to celebrate their birthday, but instead of just going for dinner and drinks they want to do some expensive ass, multiple day, out of town shit and if you say you can’t go you’re labeled a “bad friend”. Well, Gwyneth Paltrow is that friend times a million.
I guess we can finally answer the burning question as to why Cameron Diaz retired from acting. It’s probably because she was asked to dedicate her life full-time to planning her pal Gwyneth Paltrow’s bachelorette party (and eventual uncoupling ceremony). Gwynny probably has Cam under contract for the next 10-20 years. In case your Goop newsletter somehow ended up in your spam folder, Gwyneth is getting hitched to American Horror Story co-creator Brad Falchuk. According to Page Six, the bride’s pre-wedding festivities are all going down this weekend in Mexico.
Apple and Moses must be looking at each other uncomfortably, and wishing their mom wasn’t so extra. Caffeine-assed actress Gwyneth Paltrow is full on referring to her ex Chris Martin as her “brother” now. 10, 9, 8, 7…to a GOOP post about embracing incest as a healthy and spiritual practice, especially if you do it on a manatee fur sheet glazed with dew from the Himalayas that you can purchase on the site for $9,000.
Harvey Weinstein Dragged Meryl Streep And Jennifer Lawrence Into One Of His Lawsuits, And They’re Not Happy
According to Page Six, Harvey Weinstein and his team is trying to get a judge to throw out a New York class-action sexual harassment lawsuit from six lesser-known actresses. Harvey’s team responded to the lawsuit in court documents and used Meryl Streep and Jennifer Lawrence as examples of two actresses he didn’t harass or assault. If the case ever goes to trial, don’t expect to see Meryl and Jennifer holding up Justice4Harv signs while wearing Free Harv t-shirts on his side of the courtroom, because they’re pissed.
Streifans (or do they call themselves Barbrarians?) everywhere got verklempt in the loins today after Deadline reported that their god is possibly going to grace a Ryan Murphy show with her talent. Does that mean that Barbra Streisand is going to play herself in American Horror Story: Barbra Streisand’s Basement Mall? Or does it mean she’s going to play Jennifer Aniston in American Crime Story: The Time Harper’s Bazaar Put Jennifer Aniston In Streisand Drag. The answer is: neither. Barbra is “in talks” to do a brand new Ryan Murphy show for Netflix. Gwyneth Paltrow is also in talks to co-star. And now I’m picturing Barbra say, “Like buttah,” when Goopy asks her how her vagina feels after they get side-by-side coochie steaming during a break from filming.
We have kissing cousins galore back home in the South (how do you think I was Make-Out King of HeeHaw County three years in a row? Kidding! I got that from making out with a squirrel.), but a brother-sister fling is just taking things way too far! Or it could be the next Christmas list line item on Goop, as Gwyneth Paltrow went on late night TV to says she views ex-husband Chris Martin as a brother. Continue reading