You know, it wasn’t that long ago former first lady Michelle Obama was trying desperately to assist in healthier eating habits for all Americans. That said, I’m sure when she heard the news that Donald Trump served cold, greasy fast food during a White House dinner for the visiting national college football champion Clemson Tigers, it took every security detail around to hold her back from rolling up on him and cursing him out for undoing all of her work.
I love how little kids still believe in Santa Claus. It is so endearing and sweet. But you know what isn’t though? Grown ass men who believe comic book characters are living, breathing people. Please show them to the nearest straitjacket suite with padded walls immediately. And while you’re rounding them up add YOUR president, Donald Trump, to the list for believing that Batman is real. Or in this case his alter ego Bruce Wayne.
Stormy Daniels owes Michael Avenatti a great, big “I told you so” because she’s just been ordered to pay nearly $300,000 of Donald Trump’s legal fees for that defamation lawsuit he talked her into filing. While this ruling has no bearing whatsoever on her primary NDA lawsuit against Trump, you still know it’s something Trump’s gonna be congratulating himself for, and maybe we should give it to him since he’s having such a bad day. Michael Cohen was sentenced to 3 years in prison today. Stormy lost the defamation suit in October, but because of the nature of the suit, the plaintiff is required by Texas law to pay the defendant’s legal fees. So yes, it’s technically a loss, but the judge also stated that Trump’s lawyers overcharged, so the amount requested was reduced. Maybe they’ll let her pay it to Cohen’s prison commissary account.
Time Magazine Passed Up Donald Trump To Honor Murdered And Imprisoned Journalists As The “Person Of The Year”
It seems like only yesterday (it was) when we were wondering if Time was going to take the easy route and award Donald Trump as “Person Of The Year” since that trick lives on every paper, cable news channel, and Tweet. I was also hoping they’d go the Us Weekly route and award it to Duchess Meghan since it would take all of 15 seconds for Duchess Kate to order her minions get her the cover of American Vogue. Time showed it’s the only mature one of us all and awarded it to “The Guardians and the War On Trust.” Essentially, it’s an award to journalists who have devoted everything for the sake of reporting the truth. Continue reading
Unlike the PR feeding frenzy I imagine Hollywood is in the days leading up to People announcing their Most Beautiful list, I think the only nerds/people on Time’s “Person Of The Year” shortlist are Donald Trump and Duchess Meghan since they’re the only ones with enough time on their hands to give a shit. Some reps from the magazine stopped by the Today show, uh, today and revealed what people or groups they were considering for this year. It sounds like Trump might finally be able to get rid of that fake-ass Time cover from his wall.< !–more–>
Time reports that it is considering Trump (who was the 2016 honoree) because – even if he is a turd (they didn’t call him that, but you can infer) – he pretty much keeps cable news in business with all his personal drama, his tweets, separating kids from their parents at the U.S.-Mexico border, making THE QUEEN wait around on his tardy ass, and the ongoing Robert Mueller investigation into how much he was cozying up to Russia during the 2016 election. Speaking of, Robert also is a contender. Wouldn’t it be funny if Robert beat out Trump? Actually, that would probably be what finally causes Trump to put a stop to the investigation, so don’t pull any funny business, Time!
Time is also considering the separated immigrant families as this year’s “honor” since it’s up there as one of the most horrific stories of the year and so many kids remain separated from their parents. Trump’s international boo-thang Vladimir Putin, Black Panther director Ryan Coogler, Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, assassinated Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi, South Korean President Moon Jae-in and March for Our Lives activists from the Stoneman Douglas High School shooting also made the cut. You could have honestly picked from that list and had someone worthy of the title.
Alas, Time needs to make sure copies of this thing sells, so Kensington Palace Terror Meghan made the list, too. Billions around the world tuned in and watched her snatch Prince Harry from our imaginary grasp, and she’s been wreaking havoc on royal protocol ever since. Oh, and she made sure to get knocked up in the process, so her ass isn’t going back to the colonies anytime soon. I mean, if it’s between some of the others tugging at our heartstrings or Meghan making Duchess Kate sob over a toddler’s bridesmaid dress, who could possibly decide?! Yeah, my money’s on Meghan, too.
After the White House threw up that video of Melania Trump wandering through the newly decorated for Christmas White House looking around as though she had never been there before in her life, nor knew what the fuck a Christmas tree was, people have been roasting her like chestnuts on an open fire. The most egregious of the crimes against style Melania participated in, was the all-red Christmas trees she filled the East colonnade with. Well, Melania is here to tell you she doesn’t care and is serving you another dose of Not Giving A Fuck About Your Opinion Or Common Human Decency.