Yammering pair of GAP jeans Billy Bush struck a blow for womankind when he only pretended to laugh at our future president’s comments about grabbing pussies without permission during an Access Hollywood bus jaunt over a decade ago. You see, he figured if he encouraged the lying bag of farts, the lying bag of farts would make with more of the creeper talk, ruining any future hopes of becoming POTUS! *crickets* Yeah, Billy Bush’s wife Sydney didn’t buy that either. TMZ reports that she’s filed for divorce, citing “irreconcilable differences.” That’s because you can’t write “I have a vagina, I listened to that tape, you do the math, Your Honor.” on the form.
First dates are always like walking on eggshells: you best keep the conversation light, dress impeccably, and – above all – don’t keep your trick waiting on you to arrive at the restaurant. Well, Donald Trump must not have gotten that memo because on his first meeting with THE QUEEN today, some are saying QE2 was left waiting around for Donald and Melania Trump to stroll up to kiss the ring and curtsy. What’s next? Sleeveless dresses?! Continue reading
Much to the relief of Donald Trump, there’s a new pee pee tape floating around; alas, this one is kind of a snooze compared to his own offering of getting piddled on in Moscow to the soundtrack of Fiddler On The Roof. Allegedly. George Lopez, like much of the world-at-large, isn’t a huge fan of Trump, and decided to do something about it on Tuesday night. While he was wandering down the Hollywood Walk of Fame, George posted up by the Donald’s star and pretended to take a leak on it. Naturally, Trump stans across America really took that well. Continue reading
Here’s some Donald Trump news, but don’t worry: this is the least-worst Donald Trump news you can be getting. No one’s human rights are being taken away, so that automatically makes this top-5 in terms of best news stories about him.
CNN reports that Trump will likely make Americana a focus of the coming redesign of Air Force One. Trump is apparently sick of what he calls the “Jackie Kennedy color” of Air Force One. The John F. Kennedy administration is the last time Air Force One got a redesign. Trump wants to add red to the current blue and white design. They have a source who says the Donald “is deeply involved in the conversation about a redesign of the aircraft“.
Remember Andy Dick? He rubs his dick on people, he’s a petty thief, he was fired for sexual harassment, and oh yeah, he recently was charged with sexual battery? Well, add another thing to the list of shit Andy Dick needs to be punished for: making me feel sympathy for Ivanka Trump. Continue reading
When the Royal Mail conveniently “lost” Duchess Meghan’s Father’s Day card to fame-whoring extraordinaire Thomas Markle, it was said he was gutted and feared being iced out by all those British snoots. Thomas is so gutted and devastated that he ran crying to the press to say how bad he feels about being punished. Don’t fuck with THE QUEEN, Thomas, or else she’ll punish you AND her whole damn family. Rather than meet with Thomas, QE2 has decided she’ll push him back a few decades on her calendar and instead take a meeting next month with, hoo boy, Donald Trump. What did the rest of the royals do to warrant such a punishment?! Continue reading