Category: Donald Trump

Kristen Stewart Felt Donald Trump Tweeting About Her In 2012 Was “Insane”

January 21, 2017 / Posted by:

Let’s turn the clock back to 2012. Hurricane Sandy was slapping the shit out of NYC. Jessica Simpson struggled to deal with Papa Joe’s twink addiction. And our current president Donald Trump felt necessary to chime in about a celebrity couple’s tragic breakup. He’s grown so much since then.

Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson starred as a starcrossed and sparkly vampire couple in a seemingly endless film franchise called Twilight in the early 2010s. They were also in a poorly concealed “secret” relationship which kaboomed when Kristen was papped letting a director attend to her needs in a mini-Cooper. Our future president, who was merely a reality television star back then, was firmly on Team Edward. He hates cheating (he’s been romancing the Twitter bird for a looonnngg time)!

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Kanye West Isn’t “Traditionally American” Enough To Perform At The Inauguration

January 19, 2017 / Posted by:

When the piss-haired egomaniac met the piss-haired egomaniac at Trump Tower in December, many of us guessed that Donald Trump was either going to offer Kanye West a cabinet position (Secretary of the Interior, because Kanye is into interior design and shit) or ask him to perform at the inauguration. Neither happened. I figured that Kanye wasn’t ask to perform at Trump’s inauguration, because he’s just not a big enough star to join the A-list extravaganza that includes an America’s Got Talent runner-up, Tony Orlando and 3 Doors Down. But it turns out that Kanye wasn’t asked to perform because he just doesn’t fit the “traditionally American” vibe that organizers are going for.

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The Kartrashians Are To Blame For Donald Trump Getting Elected, So Says Chelsea Handler

January 18, 2017 / Posted by:

Variety interviewed a bunch of Hollywood and media types about Donald Trump’s win and one of them was Chelsea Handler. Surprisingly, Chelsea didn’t say that crazy bitch Angelina Jolie is solely to blame for President-elect Trump becoming an actual thing. Instead of doing that, Chelsea directed everyone to point their blaming fingers at Calabasas, CA.

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Former “Apprentice” Contestant Summer Zervos Has Hit Donald Trump With A Defamation Lawsuit

January 17, 2017 / Posted by:

Today in Los Angeles, Gloria Allred held another one of her signature press conferences where she announced that her client Summer Zervos has filed a defamation lawsuit against Donald Trump. Gloria says that Trump defamed Summer by calling her a liar when she accused him of grabbing her breasts and kissing her without permission when she met him for what she thought was a job interview in 2007. “Your honor, we ask that you dismiss this case on the basis that we all know my client doesn’t grab tits. He grabs pussies!” – Trump’s laywer, probably

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SNL Took On Donald Trump’s Alleged “Golden Showers”

January 15, 2017 / Posted by:

Alec Baldwin as Donald Trump started last night’s Saturday Night Live cold open by noting “Yes, this is real life. This is really happening.

Truer words and all that! It was revealed this week that US intelligence agencies were given info that our incoming president allegedly might have been compromised- sorry, “kompromated-ed,” by the Russians. With what, you ask?

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And In “Somebody Must Need A Check In A Bad Way” News….

January 13, 2017 / Posted by:

The Grammys are on February 12, and I’m sure that the likes of Beyonce, Adele, Drake and Rihanna are all going to show up, but really, who cares about that dusty ceremony filled with has-beens and Zzzz-listers? Because next week, a bigly star-studded musical event is going to go down. The Hollywood Reporter confirms that a line-up of sparkly stars from the A-list universe have signed on to perform at Donald Trump’s pre-inauguration concert. That “line-up of sparkly stars from the A-list universe” line wasn’t wrapped in sarcasm. I only had to Google the names of like one or two performers and when it comes to Trump’s inauguration, that makes it 100% A-list!

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