Looks like it’s full steam ahead for The Prattenegger. Chris Pratt and Katherine Schwarzenegger have gotten super serious. You ever go to a BBQ and they have some pale ass potato salad that is literally just potatoes, mayonnaise and not enough salt? Like no mustard, no celery to break up the texture, no paprika for color, and definitely no dash of Crystal hot sauce? That’s The Prattenegger family recipe. And yes, from the looks of things, the spoon handle in the potato salad is pointed directly towards “family“. Entertainment Tonight reports that the couple have “gotten serious, quickly”. Which makes sense – Jesus is not going to have Chris out here sowing his seeds willy-nilly. I’m sure Chris is saving his seeds for marriage. He’s already introduced Katherine to his son Jack over after-church vanilla ice cream (natch) . And it sounds like the family intros didn’t stop there.
Keegan-Michael Key and his fiance Elisa Pugliese have made it official by tying the knot over the weekend. The pair got engaged back in November, not too long after Keegan finalized his very contentious divorce with his ex-wife of 15 years Cynthia Blaise.
In the past, Ben Foster might have been able to give a surly “who wants to know” when asked if he’s a Scientologist. But Ben and loud n’ proud ‘Tologist Laura Prepon just got married so it’s probably safe to assume he’s got at least a couple Dianetics monologues memorized for auditions. After all, according to L. Ron Hubbard himself, the “R” corner of the ARC Triangle, the main tenet of a Scientology marriage, is “reality”. Or more accurately, relative reality.
ColiScar isn’t a great celebrity couple name (are any of them, really?), but I’m going with it, because when you look at it real quick, it reads as “CuloScar.”
It’s been a little under a year since Colin Jost of Saturday Night Live became the object of jealousy for a million nerd boners by wet humping on Black Widow. Since then, there’s been riveting sighting after riveting sighting of Colin and Scarlett Johansson sucking face. I guess things are serious enough for them to agree to forever be bonded in movie premiere pics, because ScarJo brought ColiJo (I refuse to call him CoJo since there is only one that matters to me) as her date to the premiere of Nerd Movie: Will Make Infinity Money in L.A. last night.
Last month it was rumored that billionaire Elon Musk was trying to woo Dakota Johnson. A few weeks after that, Dakota Johnson was reportedly hanging around Chris Martin. Elon might want to consider setting his romantic sights on someone else, unless he wants to tangle with one of Chris Martin’s many scarves to get to Dakota. Because according to UsWeekly, Dakota and Chris are “definitely dating” now.
Get ready for an onslaught of Goop.com “How Middle-Aged Brides Can Still Look Virginal – A Vagina Steaming, That’s How!” stories to pop up over the next few months, because Gwyneth Paltrow might by tying the knot again. Continue reading