Early yesterday morning in Las Vegas, the cops answered, “It’s jail time,” after Flavor Flav asked, “Do you know what time it is?” One of the vanguards who built Vh1′s kingdom of reality show fuckery found himself in handcuffs yesterday after his 2005 black BMW was pulled over for going way too fast. E! News says that at around 12:30 on Thursday morning, highway patrol caught Flavor Flav (born name: William Jonathan Drayton, Jr.) going 73mph in a 45mph zone. That traffic stop led to a treasure trove of charges. Flav was charged with six misdemeanors including DUI, speeding, possession of weed, driving with a suspended license, driving with an open container and driving with a bunk registration.
Can you get arrested for looking like a sun-damaged douchebag? NO! It turns out it’s for an actual crime. According to The Wall Street Journal, a federal judge issued an arrest warrant for Girls Gone Wild founding sleazy weasel Joe Francis on Tuesday because he failed to give two cars to his lawyers as payment for helping him sell the GGW brand to pay off his $30 million gambling debts. Paying your lawyers in cars? You know you’re a deadbeat when.
The WSJ says that Joe Francis previously claimed he couldn’t hand over the cars (a 2007 Cadillac Escalade and a 2012 Bentley Flying Spur) because he didn’t have them anymore. According to Joe, an angry strip club owner in Mexico took them as payment for a bunch of GGW promotions that fell through after the company filed for bankruptcy in February of 2013. Joe sold GGW to prevent Las Vegas’ Steve Wynn – the person he owed that $30 million to – from taking control of the company’s assets, and that’s how we ended up in this mess.
Nobody really knows where Joe Francis is right now, but many suspect he’s hiding out at his house in Mexico, which means he might be safe for now. Someone who knows law stuff told the WSJ that “the extradition treaty between the countries only provides for the capture and return of people who face criminal charges, not civil contempt.” I think that’s a lot of big words that mean he’s popping a bottle of Deadbeat’s Choice™ champagne-style drink with Litibu the sea lion right now.
Joe Francis is an honorary Kardashian Kousin, so I wonder if he tried to hit up Pimp Mama Kris and the krew for a couple of their old cars. Although that’s assuming he could even get through; something tells me the second they found out he was broke, they all had an “I don’t know him” ready for when the operator informed them they have a collect call from a Joey F. in Mexico.
I’m sure you’re thinking “Okay, but was it Hobie from Baywatch or Jeremy Jackson who stabbed somebody“, and the answer to that is: a little from column A and a little from column B. According to the Los Angeles Times, Jeremy Jackson, aka Hobie from Baywatch, was arrested on Saturday for assault with a deadly weapon after he allegedly stabbed a man and fled the scene on Friday. Police say the man, who was treated for a stab wound on his torso at an L.A. hospital, identified his attacker as “Hobie.”
The next day, police received a report of a prowler about 3 and a half miles away from where the stabbing happened, and when they went to investigate, they found Hobie, aka Jeremy Jackson. That’s when they arrested his ass and took him in. This is not Hobie’s first arrest; in 2005 he was arrested for setting up a meth lab in his house.
Hobie/Jeremy Jackson (the police also say he sometimes goes by “Jeremy Dunn” as well) used to be a major druggy, and he got clean a couple years ago thanks to Dr. Drew and the Celebrity Rehab crew, but it sounds like he might be in bad way again. Stabbing someone is definitely the type of thing you do when your head isn’t in the right place. David Hasselhoff, come get your TV son! And if you’re too busy, feel free to send your busted wax figure; at this point, Hobie needs whatever help he can get.
If you can be arrested for being a disorderly mess, then it won’t be long before my chihuahua finds a way to bust a CITIZEN’S ARREST on my ass when I drunkenly roll around on the living room carpet while singing along to Samantha Fox’s greatest hits.
E! News says that Kim Richards of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and the masterpiece Escape to Witch Mountain found herself in handcuffs early this morning after she allegedly caused a drunken scene at The Beverly Hills Hotel. Apparently, hotel security called the police at around 1:30 this morning after some kind of fight went down. When the police got to the hotel, they found Kim drunker than Brandi Glanville after seeing a picture of her boys and LeAnn Rimes on Twitter. Kim was belligerent with the cops and they say she was slurring her words and smelled like booze.
Kim locked herself in the bathroom and refused to come out. Cops had to drag Kim out of the bathroom and they took her to the police station where TMZ says she kicked a police officer. No word if she also called the police officer a “slut pig.” She was charged with trespassing, resisting arrest, battery on a police officer and being a drunk wreck in public. She was given a citation and released. Yeah, she kicked a cop and got a citation. If any of us kicked a cop, we’d probably be farting up sparks after getting tased.
Anybody who watched The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills this season knows that Kim has claimed to be sober for a long time. Well, except that one time when Monty gave Kim a pain pill which made her bring thirty layers of crazy on Lisa Rinna. During the RHoBH reunion, Kim, who went to rehab in 2011, said that she wasn’t struggling with her sobriety and was doing well.
Meanwhile, Brandi Glanville is trying to find a way to blame this on Kyle Richards and Kyle Richards is trying to find a way to make this all about her.
We may finally know the answer to the question,”Why in the fuck is Nelly always hot in herre?” The answer may be: Because ho is tweaking on crystal.
The Chattanooga Times Free Press says that Nelly (born name: Cornell Haynes) was arrested early yesterday morning and charged with felony drug possession and possession of weed. Dude is in a dilemma, you could say. At 9:20 yesterday morning, a trooper pulled over Nelly’s tour bus because it didn’t have the right stickers on it. When a cloud of the good shit wafted up into the trooper’s nostrils, he decided to do a probable cause search on the bus. After snooping around, the troopers found weed, drug paraphernalia and a plastic bag with 5 crystal-type rocks in it. The rocks tested positive for meth. The cops also found several handguns and 100 small Ziploc bags, which the police say are commonly used to sell drugs. One of the other dudes on the bus, Brian Jones, was also arrested for handgun possession.
Nelly was taken to the Putnam County Jail where he was later released on $10,000 bond. Nelly will have to show his face in court in June. Nelly’s lawyer tells TMZ that he’s going to fight the charges, because the meth wasn’t his. Nelly claims that over a dozen people had access to the bus and the meth could belong to any one of them.
Part of me believes that the meth isn’t Nelly’s, because I’d think that he would be a smart meth head who knows that when the cops stop his bus he needs to flush the bad shit down the toilet or shove it up his b-hole or hide it in a place that nobody would dare to go, like under a pile of his last CD. But the other part of me thinks that the meth may be Nelly’s, because it would explain those Band-Aids on his face (meth scratched face is no joke) and his teeth. It would also really explain why he whored himself out for Honey Nut Cheerios.
You know, I bet that meth belonged to the Honey Nut Cheerios Bee. That bee always looks tweaked the fuck out.
Okay, I think it might be time for Giles and the rest of the Scooby Gang to book a hotel room and call up the Sunnydale equivalent of Candy Finnigan, because this is getting sad. Less than a month after he was arrested for being a drunk mess at a hotel in Ft. Lauderdale during the Shock Pop Comic-Con, and less than five months after he was arrested for being a drunk mess at a hotel in Idaho during the Tree City Comic-Con, TMZ says Nicholas Brendon aka Xander from Buffy was arrested for being a drunk mess at a hotel in Tallahassee during a thing called ALT*Con on Friday night. Call me crazy, but I think I see a pattern here.
Sources tell TMZ that police were called to a hotel in Tallahassee, FL last night after Nicholas Brendon got next-level drunk, wrecked his hotel room, smashed a mirror, then walked down to the lobby barefoot with a bloody hand and tried to bum a smoke off someone. That’s when police arrested him for criminal mischief and gave him another picture for his mugshot collection.
It doesn’t take a genius to realize that putting Nicholas Brendon in a hotel room with a bunch of booze during a comic-con weekend spells trouble and/or a trip to jail, so maybe organizers of future comic-cons might want to think about a strategy to prevent this mess. Like letting him Skype in from home from now on? Or at least start taking the mirrors out of his hotel room.
Pic: Leon County Sheriff
Afroman, best known for that “Because I Got High” song found himself in handcuffs yesterday after his face made a BOOM! on the face of a woman who thought it was a good idea to crash the stage without permission and rub her ass against him. Surprisingly, the butt dancing stage crasher wasn’t Miley.
TMZ says that 40-year-old Afroman (born name: Joseph Edgar Foreman) was playing a free show for Mardi Gras at Kress Live in Biloxi, Mississippi yesterday afternoon and during a guitar solo, a fan got on stage and had a butt party on his leg. Afroman wasn’t having it and he hit her into the next zip code. TMZ says that she bled and was crying, but got up by herself and was escorted off by security as Afroman continued on with the show.
Here’s the video of Afroman laying a fan out:
That escalated quickly. I felt that one. That’s a move straight out of Action Bronson’s life manual.
The show was eventually cut off when the cops arrived and arrested Afroman. He was booked for assault and was released last night after paying a $330 bond. Afroman’s rep tells Billboard that the venue barely had any security even though he asks for plenty in his rider, because he’s had problems in the past with fans thinking they have an open invitation to join him onstage. Afroman’s rep also said he didn’t know if the person sneaking up on him was a man or a woman. It was just his slap-a-trick reflex at work:
“This was a completely involuntary reflex reaction to people infringing on his stage space. It was uncharacteristic behavior that was initiated by outside uncontrolled forces.”
I’ve been to several shows where people jump on the stage uninvited to dance and I don’t know if it’s the booze that’s doing the thinking for them, but that’s never a good idea. It might not end well (case in point: this entire story). Going on stage without an invitation to dance is not only a bad idea, but it’s not cute. If the performer wanted a back-up dancer, I’m sure they’d hire one and I’m also sure it wouldn’t be you. With that being said, if this kind of thing always happens to Afroman, why was he surprised when it happened again? He probably should’ve taken some advice from his own lyrics and picked up a joint instead. “I was going to slap that trick but then I got high.”
And I’m waiting to see how NBC is going to use that video to promote The Slap.
Well, it’s good to know that Dustin
Diamond Cubic Zirconia is still the biggest yeast infection bump of the Saved By The Bell cast and that’s saying a lot since Mario Lopez was in that cast.
Gossip Cop says that Screech (which is also the sound his career made after SBTB ended) was arrested in Port Washington, Wisconsin early this morning after he allegedly pulled a switchblade on a woman at a bar. Apparently, the neck beard-having urethra pimple and his piece (TMZ says the piece is his wife Jennifer and Gossip Cop says it’s his girlfriend Amanda) got into a fight with another couple at the bar. TMZ says that the couple Screech and his piece were fighting with were trying to take a picture of them. The fight led to Screech’s piece reportedly punching out a woman. The cops were eventually called and that’s when Screech pulled a switchblade on a trick.
Screech’s piece was arrested for disorderly conduct and was released back into the wild this morning. Screech was also put into handcuffs and charged with possession of a switchblade, reckless endangerment and carrying a concealed weapon. His bail has been set at $1,000, so I’m sure Mr. Belding got a call really early this morning from a drunken mess asking for a loan. Screech is still sitting his pathetic ass in jail, so who knows if he’ll be saved by the bail or not.
Carrying a switchblade is against the law in Wisconsin.
This Christmas story has so many layers of messiness and I have many questions. Who in the Hell carries a switchblade? Does Dustin Diamond think he’s Pony Boy or some shit? Who in the Hell tries to take a picture of Screech’s ass in the year 2014? I know it’s Wisconsin, but damn. What kind of human woman goes out in public with Screech?!
And Screech doesn’t need to carry around a switchblade. If he really wants to inflict pain on a trick with a deadly weapon, he should just give them a copy of his sex tape. I haven’t been the same since watching that dark-sided nastiness.
UPDATE: TMZ says that Screech stabbed a dude with his switchblade and left a 1/2 inch wound. Screech claims that the guy he stabbed attacked he and his wife. Screech’s bail isn’t $1,000, it’s $10,000. So yeah, every SBTB cast member isn’t answering the phone today.
Back in July, a bunch of dramatic shit went down between Taryn Manning (aka crazy meth-mouthed hillbilly princess Pennsatucky from OITNB) and her former friend Jeanine Heller that ended with Taryn and Jeanine getting slapped with a mutual restraining order after neither would stop sending each other nasty texts and dragging each other on social media. Even Taryn’s dog Penguin got dragged into that mess. Poor Penguin – he doesn’t need that shit!
Not surprisingly, Taryn and Jeanine weren’t able to go more than 24-hours without antagonizing each other. Jeanine ended up being the first to get arrested for violating their mutual restraining order, and now it looks like it’s Taryn’s turn. According to TMZ, Taryn recently started sending a bunch of not-nice texts and messages through social media to Jeanine, like “Go fuck yourself and die” and “I will kill you, bitch“. Jeanine took them to court, and a judge determined on Tuesday that sending death threats is a clear violation of their restraining order. DUH! Unfortunately, Taryn didn’t show up to court, so the judge cited her for contempt and told police to arrest her ass.
However, according to Taryn Manning, she was never arrested and TMZ’s story is BS. Taryn took to Twitter to explain that despite being as crazy as the character she plays on TV, you won’t see her in an orange jumpsuit any time soon:
Xander looks twelve kinds of rough in that mug shot, but it’s that stretched out t-shirt collar that tells me everything I need to know about how his night went.
43-year-old Nicholas Brendon, who played Xander in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, was put into handcuffs on Friday night for breaking a dish and messing with the cops in a hotel lobby. Nicholas was in Boise, Idaho for the Tree City Comic-Con when cops showed up to his hotel at around 10pm after someone called them to report a messy scene going down in the lobby. In the press release from the Boise PD, Nicholas seemed plastered as shit when cops arrived and he didn’t want to cooperate. They told him to have a seat and stay there while they talked to witnesses, but he kept trying to get away. They eventually arrested him for resisting and obstructing. The staff at the hotel claim that during his drunken lobby meltdown, he broke a “decorative dish.” The hotel wanted to press charges so the cops added one count of “malicious injury to property” to his charges.
TMZ says that Nicholas bonded out a few hours later and was released. He still showed up to Comic-Con the next day. Nicholas later said he was sorry to the Boise PD and the hotel staff he messed with:
“It would be extremely helpful, if we could all put this misunderstanding behind us and focus on more positive things.”
This isn’t Nicholas’ first time getting into a messy situation with the cops. Four years ago, he was tasered twice by cops in Venice, CA after he allegedly tried to punch them. Nicholas checked himself into rehab shortly after that went down. Nicholas is also a newlywed. Dude got married in Las Vegas a couple of weeks ago to a chick he’s known for a quick minute. He proposed to her while she was wearing a shower cap. That “proposing to a trick he’s known for a second while she wore a shower cap” situation was a sign that shit isn’t going good.
Breaking decorative dishes during a drunken meltdown in a Boise hotel lobby the night before Tree City Comic-Con is no way to go through life. Speaking of decorative dish murder, I did squint my eyes at that “malicious injury to property” charge. The hell? That charge seems kind of dramatic for breaking a hotel lobby dish. Was that decorative dish from the Ming Dynasty? Was it a Franklin Mint original? Is one of the hotel staff members an objectophile and that decorative dish was their wife of 5 years?
Hopefully Xander gets it together and stops drunkenly breaking decorative dishes in hotel lobbies, because I don’t think he wants to be known as Nicholas the Decorative Dish Slayer.