Category: Arrests

New Jersey Police Arrested The Alleged Heroin Dealer That Hid Rosie O’Donnell’s Daughter In His House

August 22, 2015 / Posted by:

It looks like Rosie O’Donnell’s back will get a much-needed break from dragging Steve Sheerer, the 25-year-old alleged heroin dealer her daughter Chelsea met on Tinder and snuck away from home for, up and down the internet, because he was arrested in New Jersey last night. Way to go, Steve – you now have the perfect mugshot for parents to use when they want to warn their kids about running away and meeting alleged heroin dealers on Tinder. “This guy…this is the guy you’ll meet.

People says that Steve Sheerer was arrested Friday night at his home in Barnegat, NJ and has been charged with child endangerment and communication of obscenity, aka what Michael K’s lawyer slaps me with every time I mention that I don’t think Shauna Sand is that pretty. He could face up to five years in prison for each charge. The arrests happened after police searched Chelsea’s phone (with Rosie’s consent) and found “evidence of inappropriate communications over the last several weeks” between Steve and 17-year-old Chelsea.

Steve Sheerer has been told he’s not allowed to contact the O’Donnell family, and his bail has been set at $40,000. “$40,000? Wow, it’s almost like you weren’t cool with your 17-year-old daughter running off without your permission to hang out with some 25-year-old dude” thought Kylie Jenner’s mother.

Hopefully many lessons have been learned from this situation. For Steve, it’s that if you meet up with a 17-year-old on Tinder and hide her in your attic, you will be looking at the inside of a cell for a while. For Chelsea, it’s that you don’t go meeting strange dudes who look like Steve Sheerer on Tinder, because you will end up hiding out in an attic. And for Bear the Therapy Doggie, it’s that when Chelsea tells you to pack your bags for a road trip, you make sure to sit her down, place a paw on her shoulder, and ask if it will be the kind of trip that ends with a game of hide and seek in attic.

Pic: Ocean County Prosecutor’s Office

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Busta Rhymes Will Bust Some Protein On You If You Screw With Him

August 6, 2015 / Posted by:

These rappers are really going hard this week. First, Meek Mill threatens Drake with a wedgie and now Busta Rhymes gets arrested for throwing a protein drink at a gym employee. What’s next? Wiz Khalifa will get called out for making a friend piss by putting their hand in a bowl of water as they slept during a slumber party?

The NYDN says that the sometimes rapper turned swole bag of muscles was arrested in NYC last night and charged with second-degree assault after he was accused of hitting an employee in the head with a cardboard carton of strawberry-flavored Muscle Milk at the Steel Gym in Chelsea. This is what Busta’s weapon of choice looks like:

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One of my little elementary school friends, Armando, threw a half-full Hi-C juice box at my arm during a fight in a park. What is the statute of limitations on a juice box attack, because I’m really thinking of pressing charges now.

Witnesses tell the NYDN that Busta and the gym worker have had words before and last night their beef turned into a hardcore, badass water splash and Muscle Milk-throwing fight. One witness says that 43-year-old Busta strolled up to the front desk at the gym to buy water and a protein drink from his arch rival (aka the employee). The worker told Busta to leave, for some reason, and he responded by attacking a ho with water and the employee fought back by also throwing water. The cops were called when Busta busted that Muscle Milk on the worker. You’d think that the worker would need to be rushed to the hospital immediately, but he turned down medical treatment when the cops arrived. Busta was arrested. He was later released and will have to go to court in November. His lawyer called the whole thing stupid:

“It’s ridiculous, it was literally a bottle of Muscle Milk. This is clearly an attempt by someone to take advantage of Busta. He did nothing wrong. This is a bunch of bull.”

I don’t know what the gym employee looks like, but I’m guessing he’s a giant bag of muscles too, so the image of two bodybuilders getting into a hissy fit water fight with each other will get me through the rest of the day. And I’ve heard many stories about a dude busting a load of liquid protein on another dude’s face at a Chelsea gym, but this may be the first time I’ve heard of anyone getting arrested for it.

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Kim Richards Is Down And Out And (Allegedly) Stealing Shit From Target

August 4, 2015 / Posted by:

Just a couple of weeks ago, Kim Richards, formerly of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, told Entertainment Tonight that she loves being sober and her time in rehab really helped her get right back on the wagon. Well, it looks like the wagon crashed into a Target causing Kim to fly off and land into a pair of handcuffs. TMZ says that Kim was arrested over the weekend after she was accused of stealing $600 worth of stuff from a Target in the Valley. If you’re picturing Kim trying to sneak out of Target with a cartload of booze, her ex-husband Monty wants you to pop that thought bubble right away. Monty tells ET that it’s obviously a big misunderstanding. Monty says that alcohol didn’t play a part in Kim’s alleged theft and her shopping cart was filled with toys.

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Snoop Dogg Got Arrested In Sweden

July 26, 2015 / Posted by:

Based on my truly rudimentary knowledge of Sweden, it is my understanding that Sweden is a magical land of easy-to-assemble furniture, wacky eye-less puppet chefs, and rivers filled with delicious red candy fishes. And today I learned it’s also the sort of place where Snoop Dogg can get arrested.

TMZ says that Snoop Dogg found himself on the receiving end of a pair of whatever the Swedish word for hand cuffs is (Google translate tells me it’s “handbojor“, which is all kinds of terrific) on Saturday after police suspected him of driving under the influence of narcotics. Snoop had just come from a show in Uppsala, Sweden, and was showing signs of being a mess on the road, so police pulled him over and took him to the police station for a drug test. He’s currently sitting in Swedish jail. However, Snoop Dogg has called bullshit on the DUI and thinks he was pulled over by the police because he’s black. Snoop documented his arrest in a series of Instagram videos, and he says in one of them that the arrest was nothing but an act of racial profiling.

He also claims that they “didn’t find shit” during his urine test. A spokesman for the Swedish police threw a side-eye at Snoop’s claim of racial profiling and told TMZ “We don’t work like that in Sweden.

The police tell TMZ that it will take two weeks to get Snoop’s drug test back. I don’t know how Swedish law works, but does that mean Snoop will be in Swedish jail for the next two weeks? I can’t even imagine what Swedish jail would be like. I bet they punish prisoners by forcing them to build an IKEA media center without the instructions while listening to “Waterloo” on repeat.

Pic: Instagram

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Today In “You’ve Heard This One Before”

June 27, 2015 / Posted by:

Whoever holds the record for the most mug shots taken (Lindsay?) better be prepared to lose their title, because DMX added another mug shot to his 8-foot-tall pile. “DMX got arrested” is the new “water is wet.”

PIX-11 in NYC says that DMX (born name: Earl Simmons) was on his way to perform in a concert at Radio City Music Hall when the cops got his ass for “several outstanding issues.” DMX owes $400,000 in child support, so Erie County Family court issued a warrant for his arrest. The city of White Plains also issued an arrest warrant on his ass for bail jumping and the city of Yonkers has accused him of being an “aggravated unlicensed motor vehicle operator.” On top of all of that, Newark, NJ filed a complaint against DMX for his possible involvement in a gas station robbery on April 5th. In other words, every damn city in the tri-state area has DMX’s name on a warrant list.

Because DMX was busy getting arrested, he wasn’t able to perform at Radio City. The show, which featured a bunch of rappers, went on without him. DMX later bailed out.

I get that the cops had to arrest DMX’s beyond messy ass since he has a warrant in practically every county, but shouldn’t they have waited until AFTER the show? Since DMX owes three shit loads in child support, they should’ve waited until he did the job and got the check before bringing him in along with the money he just made. How is he supposed to make a dent in that child support balance if they arrest him before he gets that paycheck? And DMX really needs to get it all the way together before he once again ends up nibbling green bologna sandwiches in a desert tent while wearing pink jail clothes. Believe it or not, that’s not a euphemism.

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Rick Ross Arrested For Kidnapping And Assault

June 24, 2015 / Posted by:

Permanently exhausted-looking rapper, Florida native, and owner of several gorgeous tattoos Rick Ross recently did his home state proud by getting arrested for a bunch of messy stuff. TMZ says that Rick Ross aka Ricky Rozay (a nickname that I’m sure he shares with many rosé-loving middle-aged women named Ricki) was arrested early this morning in Fayette County, Georgia by the Southeast Regional Fugitive Task Force of the U. S. Marshals Service and charged with the following: kidnapping, aggravated assault, and aggravated battery. The U. S. Marshals! Damn, you know you did something wrong when Samuel Gerard is after you.

Rick Ross was arrested early this morning, but apparently all the illegal stuff he got arrested for happened two weeks ago. According to TMZ, Rick Ross was having work done on his house in Georgia and he and his bodyguard allegedly got into a fight with one of the workers. They don’t say why, but let’s just pretend it was over subway tiles. Ross allegedly pistol whipped the guy, which I guess would be the aggravated battery part. And then I suppose he fled, since the Fugitive Task Force was after them. Ross’ bodyguard was also arrested.

This isn’t the first time Ross has had a run-in with the law in Fayette County, Georgia. Two weeks ago, police busted him for possession of weed. Maybe if he asks nicely, the judge will bundle the charges into one convenient court date.

But back to that kidnapping charge. TMZ says that Ross was charged with kidnapping because he would let the guy working on his house leave. Now I can’t stop picturing Rick Ross blocking the front door and yelling “Listen up, motherfucker – you’re not leaving till you fix the grout on those subway tiles. I said gray, not white!

Conrad Hilton Got Arrested For Breaking Into His Ex-Girlfriend’s House

June 23, 2015 / Posted by:

Shortly after he was sentenced to 750 hours of community service and fined $5000 for acting like a bratty butthole on an airplane, Conrad Hilton decided to celebrate his official induction into the spoiled rotten rich kid delinquent club by doing some more illegal shit. TMZ says that Paris Hilton’s shady little brother broke into the home of his ex-girlfriend, Hunter Salomon. If that name is sounding familiar to you, it’s because she’s the daughter of douchebag hall of famer Rick Salomon. And if that sounds familiar to you, it’s because Rick Salomon is the guy who did Paris Hilton in 1 Night in Paris. Sing it with me now! “It’s a small, small woooooorld.

Just like Conrad’s airplane drama, his break-in was also messy. After Hunter and Conrad broke up, he apparently turned into a Lifetime made-for-TV movie type of ex-boyfriend. Hunter claims he was obsessive and scary, and kept showing up at her house in the middle of the night threatening to kill himself. So she took out a restraining order against him. Then on Monday night, Conrad decided it was a good idea to violate the restraining order by showing up at her house and breaking into it. He wasn’t inside for very long; the house was soon swarmed by police and he was taken into custody.

Conrad is only 21 years old and he’s already been arrested for driving like a mess, going berserk on an airplane, breaking into a house and he’s had a restraining order placed on him. I think It’s safe to say that Paris Hilton can officially abdicate the throne and crown Conrad the trashiest member of the Hilton family. Speaking of, here’s Her Skankyness at a club in Milan on Sunday.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

Diddy Got His Ass Arrested For Allegedly Attacking His Son’s Coach (UPDATE)

June 22, 2015 / Posted by:

Seen above looking like a fourth-rate Yellow Pages DMC from Run DMC impersonator sticking out of a giant grizzly bear’s pussy, Diddy was arrested by campus police at UCLA this afternoon after he allegedly went crazy on his son’s football coach and threatened to smash a trick with a kettlebell. If you’re like me and don’t know what a kettlebell is, because you only go to the gym to watch buff guys workout and to use the hot tub, this is what a kettlebell looks like:

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TMZ says that the fight went down at the UCLA Athletic Facility today. A source tells TMZ that yesterday, a Strength and Conditioning Coach (Side note: My hair could use a Strength and Conditioning Coach because shit has been brittle and dry lately) screamed at Diddy’s son Justin Combs, who is a defensive back on the team, and rode his ass hard (and not in a sexy way). The coach Sal Alosi allegedly told Justin not to come back until the end of the summer. So Diddy went to UCLA today to have a little talk with Sal Alosi.

A source close to Diddy (Hi Diddly’s publicist!) claims that Sal Alosi refused to see him, but he busted into the office anyway. Sal threatened to call security and shit got serious when Diddy said, “Fine, I’ll call the police.” Sal lost his mind and went after Diddy. Diddy grabbed a kettlebell and held it up, but never hit Sal with it. A UCLA source tells a different story, of course. That source claims that Sal was on the phone when Diddy came into the office. Sal told Diddy to hold on, but the only thing he wanted to hold on to was Sal’s ripped-off head. That source says that Diddy picked up the kettlebell and tried to hit Sal in the head with it.

Diddy was arrested on a charge of assault with a deadly weapon. As of Monday night, Diddy is still in campus jail. (Update: Diddy was transferred to L.A. County jail where he was charged with three counts of assault with a deadly kettlebell, one count of making terrorist threats and one count of battery. He paid the $50,000 bail and was released.)

The entire messy scene is on video, so I’m sure it will show up on TMZ in 3..2….

There’s another layer of fuckery on top of this fuckery enchilada. Sal Alosi used to be a coach for the NY Jets and he was suspended by the NFL in 2010 for purposefully tripping a Miami Dolphins player during a game.

I bet that video looks like a fight on Dance Moms, only bitchier and with more high-pitched screaming. You know what’s hard to believe about this story? I’m having a hard time believing that Diddy actually picked up that kettlebell by himself. I mean, Diddly can’t even hold an umbrella in his delicately manicured hands. Are we sure one of his butlers didn’t pick up the kettlebell for him?

John Stamos Got Arrested For DUI

June 13, 2015 / Posted by:

Well, now we know what Uncle Jesse did with that beer he confiscated from DJ at the Spring Backwards Dance. No! Uncle Jesse would never! But apparently John Stamos would. TMZ says that America’s forever hot uncle was busted for DUI on Friday night in Beverly Hills, and apparently he was a damn wreck.

Police got a call around 7:45pm about a silver Mercedes swerving around the streets like the Dizzy Dizzy Dinosaur. Once police caught up to John Stamos, he couldn’t even roll down his window and greet the cops with a “Have mercy!“; John was so fucked up, the police had to call paramedics to take his ass to the hospital. Nobody else was in the car with Uncle Jesse when got arrested. He has been charged with misdemeanor DUI. Somewhere in a fancy Manhattan penthouse, the Olsen Twins just let out a sinister cackle.

Of course, TMZ has video of John Stamos getting arrested last night, and this is what he looked like.

To be honest, he doesn’t actually look that bad. At one point during the video, it looks like he smells Kimmy Gibbler’s stanky feet and tries to drunkenly wave it away from his face, but that’s about it. Other than that, John Stamos looks pretty sexy. Looks like we can add “Getting arrested for DUI” to the already miles-long list of things John Stamos looks hot while doing. And once his mugshot is released, it’s probably safe to say we’ll be adding “Taking a mugshot” to that list as well.

Mila Kunis’ Runaway Stalker Has Been Caught

June 3, 2015 / Posted by:

TMZ says that after four days on the loose, Mila Kunis’ stalker Stuart Lynn Dunn (seen above in one of his many mugshots) has finally been caught by police. Stuart escaped the Olive Vista Behavioral Health Center in Pomona, CA where he was being held on Saturday by slipping out of a bathroom window, and went on the run. According to TMZ, police found him earlier today hanging out in an alley in Santa Monica, at which point he was arrested and taken into custody. Probation officials are currently investigating what he was doing while he was on the loose, and trying to find out whether or not he tried to contact Mila Kunis.

I know I’m focusing on the wrong thing here, but I can’t believe Stuart Lynn Dunn made it so far. If Google Maps is correct, Pomona is almost 47 miles away from Santa Monica. Put into perspective, that’s like 16 hours of non-stop walking. That’s too much walking! He’s like that damn Proclaimers song. Good lord, I would have turned my ass around and headed back the second I hit West Covina.

Regardless, at least Mila Kunis can now let out a giant sigh of relief that her stalker isn’t out stalking anymore. Now the only person she has to worry about creeping around her backyard is her “former childhood friend” and current fame whore Kristina Karo on the never-ending search for some quick cash…I mean, her long-lost stolen chicken.

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