Rob Kartrashian is probably begging his family to rent him a private jet so he can fly to Austin, TX and stand outside of the police station with a “FREE CHYNA” sign. Because the big-assed plastic Real Doll who is currently his full-time fuck partner was arrested at Austin-Bergstrom International Airport after she allegedly caused a drunken scene on a flight from L.A. The flames of Hell are burning high tonight as Lucifer’s proudest creation Pimp Mama Kris cackles into the air.
TMZ says that Blac Chyna (born name: Angela Renee White) was headed for London and she had a layover in Austin. Blac Chyna was apparently such a boozed-up disaster on the flight from L.A. to Austin that the crew called in the cops who were at the gate when the plane landed. Someone who was on the plane tells TMZ that Blac Chyna was wasted and only stopped fighting for a second to tie her Yeezys. Pro tip: If you plan to get angry drunk on a flight, don’t wear lace-up shoes. They’ll only get in the way of you fighting with everyone.
An eyewitness tells TMZ, Chyna appeared “heavily intoxicated” on the plane and was “fighting” with a flight attendant, acting “like a drunken fool.” Another eyewitness says, at one point she screamed, “Y’all got no respect for me. I gotta tie my shoes. Let me tie my Yeezys.”
When Blac Chyna got off the plane, she called an airline employee a “nasty bitch” as she ran toward her connecting flight. The cops put her in handcuffs and arrested her. She was crying when they took her away. She was booked for public intoxication.
You know how we always say that the boyfriends and husbands of the Kartrashians are kursed and find their lives in the gutter (see: Lamar Odom and Scott Disick)? Well, I guess the same goes for the girlfriends of the Kartrashians too. But damn, I didn’t know Pimp Mama Kris worked this fast. I’ll never underestimate her black magic skills again.
UPDATE: Blac Chyna also had 1 gram (but no more than 4 grams) of some kind of shit on her because she was also charged with drug possession. PMK is pulling out all the stops!
Another speeding train just crashed into the train wreck pile that is the Palins. Train wrecks be train wreckin’ again.
Gawker says that Sarah Palin’s oldest kid, 26-year-old Track Palin (he’s the one in the back), was arrested in Wasilla, Alaska last night after he allegedly got violent with a woman while boozed up. Let this be a lesson to parents everywhere: Never EVER commit child abuse by naming your kid Track. Nothing good can come of it. Dude will always be running into trouble with a name like Track.
Wasilla P.D. said that they went to a house last night after getting a call about a domestic violence incident. The cops said that after doing a little investigating they learned that a member of Wasilla’s royal family drunkenly assaulted a woman while carrying a gun. They put Track in handcuffs and charged him with three misdemeanors. The police gave this statement to Gawker:
On 01/18/2016 at approximately 2204 hours, Wasilla Police responded to a residence for a disturbance. An investigation revealed Track Palin had committed a domestic violence assault on a female, interfered with her ability to report a crime of domestic violence, and possessed a firearm while intoxicated. Palin was arrested and charges of assault in the fourth degree (domestic violence), interfering with a domestic violence report, and misconduct involving weapons in the fourth degree were forwarded to the District Attorney’s Office. Palin was held without bail until arraignment.
Damn that Track, smearing the Palin family’s pristine reputation like that.
Back in 2015, Track and his family were involved in that hot trashy brawl at a snowmobile party. It ended with a shirtless track flipping people off in the street. And now here is. I don’t know why those Palins even bother with politics when their true calling is reality TV. (That Sarah Palin’s Alaska show doesn’t count.) You’d think that the world of reality TV would’ve fully embraced their boozin’, brawlin’ and barebackin’ antics by now. Oh, and Sarah Palin officially endorsed Donald Trump today. I didn’t read her statement, but I’m guessing that it stops after 3 sentences because she quit writing it halfway through.
A Carter was arrested last night and it wasn’t Aaron Carter for breaking into Hilary Duff’s bedroom to steal her worn panties, hump her pillow and make out with her toothbrush. Nick Carter was arrested after he allegedly busted out a violent, drunken scene at Hog’s Breath Saloon in Key West, FL. Nick Carter acting a mess at Hog’s Breath Saloon isn’t even the most Florida news I read yesterday. That title goes to the story about the dude who ate crack in front of a cop during a traffic stop.
According to Gossip Cop, the police report says that Nick and another dude named Michael Rae Papayans showed up to Hog’s Breath Saloon at around 7pm last night and they were both several kinds of wasted. The bartender refused to help them get drunker by serving them more booze and he told them both to take their asses out of the bar. That set Michael off and he allegedly head-butted the bar manager while Nick choked out the bouncer. The bar’s staff joined forces and held Nick and Michael down until the police showed up.
TMZ says that Nick and Michael were both arrested for battery and are still in custody. Nick said a couple of months ago that he’s dry now and completely off booze and the bad shit. Nick’s wife Lauren Kitt is currently knocked up with their child.
TMZ also posted body cam footage shot by a Key West police officer after the bar fight. The video looks like it was shot with a water-damaged Le Clic from the 80s, but you can clearly hear Michael admit that they were drunk as hell and he blames the fight on Nick. Michael also name drops Nick Carter’s name to the cop and the cop didn’t flinch. I’m surprised the cop didn’t stop everything and squeal out, “THEE Nick Carter? That changes everything! You’re both free to go as soon as you give me an autograph and a selfie!” That cop is obviously a 98 Degrees fan.
And the only thing I want to know is if the bouncer screamed, “Quit playing games with my froat,” when Nick Carter choked him. Yeah, yeah, I’ll start walking toward the exit as you cue up The Price is Right losing horn.
Bill Cosby Charged With Aggravated Assault And An Arrest Warrant Has Been Issued (Update With Mug Shot!)
Bill Cosby and Elmo… Two disgusting and nasty trashy peas in a disgusting and nasty pod.
A belated Christmas miracle happened today. The Pennsylvania District Attorney charged Bill Cosby with aggravated assault, a felony, for allegedly drugging and sexually assaulting Andrea Constand in 2004. Andrea Constand, who was the operations manager of Temple University’s women’s basketball team at the time, says that the fallen Puddin’ Pop kingpin drugged and raped her at his home in Elkins Park, Pennsylvania in January 2004.
And to answer the question in your head: Yes, that’s her mug shot.
The BBC says that yesterday, model and Leonardo DiCaprio’s ex, Bar Refaeli, spent 12 hours being questioned by officials from the Israel Tax Authority in Tel Aviv. They suspect that she cheated on her taxes. That questioning led to Bar and her mother Tzipi getting detained today. They were later released on $193,000 bail. Their passports were also snatched away and they can’t leave the country without permission for six months.
A few months ago, Azealia Banks allegedly spit in a French dude’s face and called a flight attendant a “fucking faggot” on a plane. After that mess, Azealia should’ve tried to chill all the way out by meditating in a Calgon bath while Enya played in the background and the soothing scent of angel whispers wafting off of a lit Glade candle filled her nostrils. Or she should’ve taken her ass to anger management. But nope, Azealia Banks is still being Azealia Banks and early this morning she got arrested after her delusions of grandeur got the best of her and she took a bite out of a chichi.
No, that dog has nothing to do with this story. I just figured that if we had to look at Randy Quaid’s greasy Santa-on-bath salts face, we should also get a cute fluffy doggie to cleanse our eyeballs with.
Two days after he was arrested by Canadian Border officials for being an immigration-dodging mess, Cousin Eddie has been arrested by American Border officials. I know, you totally didn’t see this one coming, right? CBC News says Vermont State Troopers (please tell me it was Ramathorn and Womack) slapped Randy Quaid and his partner in crazy times, Evi Quaid, with a pair of handcuffs when they tried to slink across the U.S./Canadian border at 8pm last night. Yes, Randy was trying to flee Canada after he was deemed that he wasn’t a flight risk. I guess Randy was trying to pull a “You can’t deport me if I deport myself” power move or something.
Both Randy and Evi were detained and a judge has set their bail at $50,000 each. No word on why Evi was arrested as well, since she’s not exactly the one up for deportation. But I’m sure there’s probably some law on the books about skipping town with your husband who was specifically told to sit tight while they decided what day to send his ass back to California.
I have no idea why Randy and Evi couldn’t just wait for Canada to tell them when it was time to pack their bags and GTFO. So impatient, those two! Personally, I would have stayed in Montreal as long as they would let me just so I could stuff my face with as many Montreal bagels as possible. Border security would need at least three of their strongest employees to drag my ass out. If you’ve ever had a Montreal bagel, you know what I’m talking about. It’s like wood-fired poppy seed-covered crack. If I was about to be deported from the land of bagels, I’d run off to the nearest St-Viateur and eat till I shat circular bagel-shaped poops.
In the event you want to see the newest pictures for Randy and Evi’s mug shot collection, they’re after the cut.
The last time I wrote about Shia LaBeouf, he had reportedly gotten into a messy, violent fight with his girlfriend at the time, Mia Goth, and it ended with him telling some dudes that he would’ve killed her. Well, Shia is still Shia’ing and he got busted in Austin, TX tonight for being all kinds of messy and not obeying the cops.
TMZ says that at around 7:45 tonight, Shia ran down Sixth Street while either drunk out of his mind or high out of his mind or both. I’ve been to Austin and I don’t think anybody would ever blink an eye at seeing a hipster run down the street while drunk as hell. But Shia got busted when he jaywalked in front of the cops. The police told him not do it, but he did it anyway. The cops subdued his ass and arrested him. Shia is in town for Austin City Limits.
Shia spent a few months in rehab in 2014 after he pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct.
And if I had to say something positive, I’d say that at least this time Shia didn’t keep anyone from seeing a half-shaked sweaty Alan Cumming shake that ass while singing show tunes. So there is that.
UPDATE: Shia was booked for misdemeanor public intoxication.
Almost 5 years ago, Canada heroically saved the lives of Randy and Evi Quaid from a murderous mafia known as the Star Whackers who had killed Heath Ledger and David Carradine and were coming after them next! (No, I don’t know why a bunch of star murderers would want to murder Randy Quaid, but that’s his story.) Evi, whose dad is Canadian, became a citizen and filed papers to sponsor Randy’s citizenship. Everything was maple syrup kisses and poutine dreams until today. Randy Quaid was arrested in Montreal today and he could be deported back to California. That screeching sound you hear is Dennis Quaid driving a U-Haul full of his family and shit from California to Mexico.
When we last left Jeremy Jackson, he was busted by the cops for stabbing a dude in Westlake Village, CA. That was in April. Jeremy was never charged with anything, because he cried self defense and the District Attorney’s Office agreed with him. Well, Hobie struck, or should I say stabbed, again and this time he’s actually facing charges.
TMZ says that Jeremy Jackson allegedly went crazy and stabbed a woman near his home in L.A. on August 6th. The woman claims that Jeremy Jackson tried to steal her boyfriend’s car and when she stopped him, he stabbed her in her back, arm and leg. Because this is something you really want to see, her’s a picture of one of her alleged Hobie-made wounds:
Jeremy ran his ass away from the scene, but the cops picked him at a hotel. The D.A. charged him with with felony counts of assault with a deadly weapon and making criminal threats. He pleaded not guilty and the judge set his bail at $80,000, so I’m guessing David Hasselhoff got a call in the middle of the night from his TV son looking for a little loan. The Wrap says that the Celebrity Rehab graduate will have to show his face in court on October 28th.
Are Jeremy Jackson and Nicholas Brendon in a competition to see which one of them can get the most mug shots in one year? I’m guessing that Jeremy will win if he keeps trying to (allegedly) snatch cars and stab tricks in what sounds like drug deals gone terribly wrong. I don’t know whether to blame Dr. Drew of The Hoff or both. And to think, I thought Jeremy Jackson had hit rock bottom when he decided to tell all of us about the time he walked around with Michelle Williams’ dried ass juices on his fingers for two weeks:
Asked about his celebrity hook-ups, Jeremy copped to dating Katie Holmes early in her career: “My secret rendezvous girlfriend. Yeah, we messed around.” And Katie’s Dawson’s Creek co-star, Michelle Williams–Hobie once fingered her until she whispered that he was working the wrong hole: “I was learning the ropes, man. You know…I didn’t wash my hands for a couple weeks.”