Afternoon Crumbs

October 13, 2017 / Posted by:

Marilyn Manson told a story about how a fan nearly ended up with his dick down her throat, and not in a sexy way. Marilyn says a fan bit him on the dick at a show in Europe. Thankfully for him, she didn’t bite it off. That would’ve been real tragic. Then he wouldn’t be able to suck his own dick anymore. He would’ve gotten his ribs removed for nothing! And yes, this bit was co-written by the teenage me who still believes that urban legend – SOW

The good thing about wearing a jumpsuit covered with a bunch of napkin-looking bows is that if one of your dinner guests drops their napkin on the floor, you can just rip off one of your bows and hand it to them while saying, “I got you, bitch.” – Lainey Gossip 

Jason Momoa is sorry for the Game of Thrones rape joke he made in 2011 – Celebitchy

Earth to Tamra Judge, of course Vicki Gunvalson is incapable of being a good person. Why do you think Bravo has kept her, and you, around for so long? – Reality Tea

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Drake Was “Seen” At Bella Hadid’s Birthday Party

October 13, 2017 / Posted by:

If you’re famous and single, there’s a scientific law that states you cannot be in the same place as another famous and single person without a rumor being started that the two of you are possibly dating. It’s compounded further when one or both parties are prone to publicity stunts and/or a love of drama. When UsWeekly found out that 30-year-old Drake threw Bella Hadid a 21st birthday party earlier this week in NYC, it was quickly followed with a story about Drake maybe dating Bella Hadid.

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Minka Kelly Would Like You To Know She Didn’t Wreck Jesse Williams’ Marriage

October 13, 2017 / Posted by:

Jesse Williams is for sure dating Minka Kelly after splitting from his estranged wife Aryn Drake-Lee in the messiest way. The timeline of when Jesse got with Minka is still a target of speculation. If you ask Minka Kelly, like someone on Instagram recently did, she’ll tell you that she had no part in ruining his marriage.

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Open Post: Hosted By A Dick Tree

October 13, 2017 / Posted by:

For the sake of nurses and doctors, I hope I never run into that tree in the wild, because they’re the ones who are going to have to remove splinters from my ass.

There’s been one contestant on Jeopardy! who has split the internet in two (not really)!!! Austin Rogers is a bartender from NYC who is like a grown up Dustin from Stranger Things in the May Company suit your dad wore for your Olan Mills family portrait. Some people (aka hipster fuckers) have felt things from taking in Austin’s hipster smugness, and others have gotten cramps in their eye-rolling muscles from taking in Austin’s hipster smugness. But however you feel about Austin, you have to slow clap for his Jeopardy! reign, and you really have to slow clap (with your ass cheeks) over how he went out.

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