Like the untameable Pogo Ball and the wild Skip-It, Groove Tube was a toy from the 1980s that I could never ever conquer. The sweet feeling of knowing what it was like to successfully tame a Groove Tube always eluded me. The Groove Tube was made up of a ball and a ring that was about the size of Jon Hamm’s cock ring (“Pfft! That tiny thing wouldn’t even make it past the tip.” – The Hammaconda) To play Groove Tube, you’d put the ball on the track of the mini hula hoop and move it around fast while trying not to let it fall out. I remember playing with Groove Tube only a couple of times and it only took a second or two for my ball to fall off the track. I see now that was a metaphor for my future.
Look at these smug ass kids showing off their Groove Tube skills. There’s obviously special effects trickery at work here!
One of my little friends could work the Groove Tube and bounce on a Pogo Ball at the same time. Watching a kid successfully play with a Groove Tube and bounce on a Pogo Ball at the same time was enlightening. It opened up my mind to the fact that witches don’t just live in cartoons and movies. They live in real-life and my neighborhood too!
Pic: Pinterest (For Megan)
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As Prince William raised the roof and partied in Switzerland, Prince Hot Ginge did some real work by planting wood into a hole in the ground. And since I put it that way, I’m totally jealous of that hole in the ground now – Lainey Gossip
I think Ireland Baldwin’s nipple popped out to tell her to put on some shoes before she catches some kind of nasty sidewalk diseases – Drunken Stepfather
Bitch please, Kylie Jenner and Tyga aren’t going to break up for real until Pimp Mama Kris gets at least one sex tape out of them – Celebitchy
John Barrowman got the gift of Stephen Amell’s nipples for his 50th birthday – Towleroad
Bethenny Frankel’s ex farted on a plea deal for allegedly harassing her, so they’re going to court now – Reality Tea
The latest episode of Hilary Duff Walking To Her Car features a major plot twist. This time Hilary Duff is walking away from her car – The Nip Slip
Emma Watson says that photos of her have been hacked but not naked photos. But still, it looks like The Fappening 2.0 is upon us…. – The Superficial
Kristen Bell’s little piece of heaven on earth has been found – Pajiba
Even Nicole Scherzinger looks a little surprised that the paps are taking her picture – Popoholic
Okay, but did Ice Cube go to Barbizon? – SOW
Aja Naomi King and Alfred Enoch from How To Get Away With Murder may be a thing – Just Jared
I don’t know why, but these pictures of a naked Charlotte McKinney posing with flowers brought the laughs out of me – Hollywood Tuna
This is what Bette Midler looks like as Dolly In Hello, Dolly! – Boy Culture
Ilana Glazer got married and if everybody there didn’t silently scream, “YAS QUEEN!”, afterward, then she didn’t really get married – Popsugar
Former Scientologist Leah Remini really made David Miscavige shriek at the top of his lungs by doing an anti-Scientology docu-series with other former members called Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath. Everyone within earshot of David’s office better grab some earplugs, because The Hollywood Reporter confirmed today that A&E has renewed Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath for a second season.
Leah explained to THR that her show goes on because she still has words to say and truth to expose.
“The way the organization has responded without taking responsibility for what they do to people, I need to continue. It would be another [scenario] if they stopped trying to discredit everyone’s stories and said, ‘If you don’t like it, don’t be part of Scientology.’ I have a stage for people to listen. Until the day I no longer have this platform, I won’t be silent.”
Of course, it didn’t take long for Scientology to release a bitchy statement about Leah’s show renewal.
The second season of LR:SATA will have 10 hour-long episodes, and is already in pre-production. I’m not surprised that Leah’s show got a second season. So much shady shit has happened on the inside of Scientology’s walls, you could easily fill ten seasons. Leah herself says her email inbox is filled with former members who want to talk. So obviously this next season will have plenty of material. But just in case they have an extra 5 minutes to fill, maybe Leah could give us an update on Neighbor Sue and the suppressive dog she can’t quit.
— The Helmeted Cat 🐯 (@LegendaryEgos) January 4, 2017
Just when I was beginning to think that we needed some actual happy news around these dreary parts, RuPaul came through and caused cannons to burp out loads of confetti by announcing that he’s married now!
A wave of screams is covering Los Angeles today, and it’s definitely from every A-list actress yelling at her stylist for not presenting them with this chic and exquisite ensemble as an Oscar dress option. Because they’d be the only one on every best dressed list if they wore this.