Balenciaga warped reality when they released some kind of Crocs collaboration on their runway in 2017. It was sick and strange and somehow they’ve outdone themselves. Balenciaga has once again teamed up with Crocs to create a shoe and this time they have twisted the powers of creation to form an unholy stiletto Crocs heel and a Crocs rain boot. The Crocssenaissance continues!
I hope Nicki Minaj reserves some time today to send a stack of hand-written apologies to the Crocs head office today. Because Nicki owes a couple of people in Crocs customer service and Crocs IT an apology today for helping to crash the Crocs website earlier this week with her social media shenanigans. Especially since it has since been revealed that Nicki’s little stunt had nothing to do with Crocs in the first place! She just released some music.
We all know that Gen Z is a generation of gravediggers who can’t stay out of the early 2000s graveyard, digging up whatever bygone trend appeals to them, whether that be middle hair parts or baggy jeans or, most astonishingly, Crocs. The gaudy, shamefully comfortable rubber footwear that was once known as the favorite of toddlers, low-effort enthusiasts, Disneyland adults, and that chef, is now a major fashion moment for stylish teens, clout chasers, and TikTok types. So much so, that recent collaborations with artists like Post Malone, Bad Bunny, and Justin Bieber, as well as red carpet appearances, have caused Crocs’ stock to double in value. Gen Z wants their breathable cushiony footwear, and they want it NOW. Recently, Nicki Minaj posted a picture of herself wearing a pair of Crocs, and that alone was enough to crash the Crocs website.
Well Gen Z has finally found a way to make me side with the Boomers on something, CBC reports that Crocs have made a comeback. The hideous foam shoe which I accept on people in high-stress fields where they walk around a lot and spend time on their feet but almost no one else, has seen a surge in popularity during the pandemic and stock prices have more than doubled. Screw Bitcoin and NFTs, time to invest in Crocs!
E! News says that Victoria Beckham got quite the surprise gift of lilac Crocs sent to her from none other than Justin Bieber. Well, more like sent to her by the interns at whatever PR firm works for his Drew House x Crocs collaboration. It seems that someone lacking absolute sense, reason and rationality decided the woman known as Posh Spice who said she didn’t smile because of her “responsibility to the fashion community” would then turn around and stab them in the eyes with lilac Crocs. She’d “rather die” first!
Just when you thought that Crocs couldn’t get any more attractive and fashionable, and really make you look like sex on rubber, they found a way to really prove you wrong. For those of you who love Crocs and love KFC chicken, here’s a deliciously gorgeous way to show off your infatuation…. as you get your ass (or in this case, feet) attacked by random dogs and flies.