Category: Uncancellable

Mel Gibson Was Briefly Scheduled To Be Co-Grand Marshal Of One Of New Orleans’ Biggest Mardi Gras Parades

January 9, 2023 / Posted by:

Historically speaking, there are few better places in the world to see some sweet, sweet, sugar tits than in New Orleans during Mardi Gras. So that is perhaps the reason Mel Gibson agreed to be the co-Grand Marshal of Krewe of Endymion’s 2023 Mardi Gras parade, one of the city’s “largest and most splendid parades,” according to But it doesn’t explain why Krewe of Endymion would want Mel to ride on their float, only to reverse the decision just a few hours later, unless the theme of their parade this year was Beef Jerky and Bile, but they couldn’t source enough of those little silica gel desiccant packets to keep Mel from rotting and turning into a lump of salty, sinewy mush. A huge turnoff, especially if you want the ladies to keep flashing them sugar tits.

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Helena Bonham Carter Defended Johnny Depp And J.K. Rowling Against The Ills Of “Cancel Culture”

November 28, 2022 / Posted by:

Generally, well-tolerated kook Helena Bonham Carter admitted to having consulted a psychic to ask permission to play Princess Margaret on The Crown. But it doesn’t take a psychic to know that railing against cancel culture in defense of Johnny Depp and J.K. Rowling is a great way to transform yourself into a formally well-tolerated kook. Instead of paying some smelly hippy in a headband to read her Tarot cards, Helena could have just read the room and learned, FOR FREE, that J.K. and Johnny are perfectly capable of reminding us how much they suck without her help. Unless, of course, that smelly hippy with a headband was Johnny all along, posing as a psychic to trick HBC into accusing Amber Heard of jumping on the #MeToo bandwagon “because it’s the trend and to be the poster girl for it.” Say what you will about his aroma, but the man can really sell a bit!

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Anna Wintour Is Also Done With Kanye West And Kanye Says He Can’t Be Canceled

October 23, 2022 / Posted by:

The cancelations are coming in as hot and ready as a Little Caesar’s pizza for Ye a.k.a Kanye West. His antisemitic rants and George Floyd slander have led to him being dropped by multiple companies, from JP Morgan Chase to Balenciaga. Who will showcase Kanye’s body sock collection now?! Well, don’t ask Anna Wintour to back Ye’s fashion vision because she’s also severing ties with the beleaguered rapper. Damn, even Anna, the woman who proudly put Kim Kardashian’s ass on the front cover of Vogue, is calling it quits. Despite these major disassociations, Kanye still has clout. What says “My life totally isn’t in the toilet” more than hanging out with Candace Owens and Kid Rock and buying the useless social platform Parler!

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Diddy Wants To Un-Cancel Travis Scott And Morgan Wallen

May 13, 2022 / Posted by:

Um, the last time I checked, it seemed like Morgan Wallen and Travis Scott were doing a pretty good job of getting un-cancelled on their own. Previous public N-word user Morgan Wallen began crawling his way out of the cancel hole after he won Album of the Year at the Academy of Country Music Awards in March. Travis Scott has been staging his “comeback” after 10 people died at his Astroworldshow, and he became the recipient of numerous lawsuits, including his latest lawsuit from a woman who says that her injuries during the trampling led to her miscarrying her child.

But in Diddy’s mind, these two poor young misunderstood souls are laboring under the weight of their permanent status as societal pariahs. So Diddy wants to play Captain Save-A-Cancelled-Ho for Morgan and Travis, and he’s doing whatever he can to re-integrate them back into showbiz. Even though they both have kind of already done that themselves.

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Morgan Wallen Won Album Of The Year At The ACMs After Being Banned Last Year

March 8, 2022 / Posted by:

Throw another point on the board for the team called “What’s Cancel Culture?“, because Morgan Wallen is back, baby! The questionably-remorseful country dude with the world’s most problematic sense of humor is back from hiatus, and this time he’s got a shiny new Academy of Country Music Awards trophy to take home with him. Apparently, the mandatory time-out for public N-word use in the country music community is just a little over 13 months? You learn something new every day.

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Actor Joshua Malina Asks Why Hollywood Hasn’t Canceled Mel Gibson Yet

December 6, 2021 / Posted by:

There’s a very comprehensive catalog of deeply problematic and downright hateful things Mel Gibson has said in the past, and I’m pretty sure it’s so bad that if you were to search the word “sugar tits,” Google would come back like, “Errr…you know what, I’m going to make an executive decision and just show you some boobs covered in sugar. It’s better for your mental health and probably safer for work too.” And yet! With all the notable quotables floating around out there from Mel Gibson’s past, he continues to work. Actor Joshua Malina, who was in The West Wing, Scandal, The Big Bang Theory, and A View From The Top, decided he’s had enough and wrote an op-ed for The Atlantic asking why Mel Gibson hasn’t seemed to face any consequences of his anti-Semitic actions.

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