Category: Don’t Speak
Helena Bonham Carter Defended Johnny Depp And J.K. Rowling Against The Ills Of “Cancel Culture”
Generally, well-tolerated kook Helena Bonham Carter admitted to having consulted a psychic to ask permission to play Princess Margaret on The Crown. But it doesn’t take a psychic to know that railing against “cancel culture” in defense of Johnny Depp and J.K. Rowling is a great way to transform yourself into a formally well-tolerated kook. Instead of paying some smelly hippy in a headband to read her Tarot cards, Helena could have just read the room and learned, FOR FREE, that J.K. and Johnny are perfectly capable of reminding us how much they suck without her help. Unless, of course, that smelly hippy with a headband was Johnny all along, posing as a psychic to trick HBC into accusing Amber Heard of jumping on the #MeToo bandwagon “because it’s the trend and to be the poster girl for it.” Say what you will about his aroma, but the man can really sell a bit!
Michael B. Jordan Won’t Shut Up About White Women And Boats
My Hot Tip For Hot Dudes: Keep it shut! That’s it, it really is that simple. Fewer clothes, fewerer words. You would have thought that Michael B. Jordan would have learned this lesson by now after ruining a perfectly good fantasy about me, him, Lupita and Martin Freeman (don’t you dare judge me) tied up together in a Wakandan Knot by speaking out on separate rumors that he was gay and that he and Lupita Nyong’o were dating. Now he’s making things weird again by re-addressing the rumors that he only dates white women, when all I really care about is that he’s staying hydrated and not skipping glutes day.