Last year, it was reported that Aqua’s Barbie Girl would not be featured in Greta Gerwig’s Barbie movie, which was wrong but not that surprising. Mattel sued Aqua’s North American label MCA Records, shortly after the song was released in 1997. The case was ultimately dismissed. But last month, we learned that Barbie Girl made it into the movie as a remix featuring Nicki Minaj and Ice Spice. And I’m amazed that these tricks managed to fit two verses and three choruses into a song that is under two minutes long. UNDER TWO MINUTES? Now, to make sure streams reach the millions, songs don’t even last as long as my motherfucking frozen peas in the microwave?
As expected, the Garth Brooks of pop Taylor Swift released her 846th version of her seventh-month-old album Midnights (okay, it was her fifth version… and counting). Initially, it was sold EXCLUSIVELY in CD form at her Eras show in New Jersey last night. But she later released the version, The Late Night Edition, in digital format in her webstore. That edition features a new song called You’re Losing Me, where she sings, “I wouldn’t marry me either/A pathological people pleaser/ Who only wanted you to see her.” So basically, everyone’s thinking that Taylor and Joe Alwyn broke up after six years together because he didn’t want to marry her. And to Swifties, those lyrics are a battle cry, and they’re pulling out their weapons (aka emojis) as they get ready to ATTACK!
“Subtle” was redefined yesterday when Taylor Swift burped up the news that she’s releasing new versions of two songs from her album Midnights. TayTay announced that she and Lana Del Rey recorded a new version of their song Snow on the Beach and that she and IT rapper of the moment, Ice Spice, did a remix of her song Karma. Many have stamped the latter collab with the words “DAMAGE CONTROL” since TayTay’s current poo (typo and it stays), Matty Healy, laughed at racist comments about Ice Spice on a podcast. And while some Swifties have once again defended their savior over this, others are adding this damage control jewel to TayTay’s Queen of Performative Acts crown.
Just like her parents. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, 9-year-old North West can’t get enough of attention on social media. Her platform of choice is TikTok, and like most kids her age, she’s into those damn dance trends. But her recent video has the internet clutching its pearls. After coming out as a major fan of Ice Spice by sharing a portrait she drew of the rapper and having her mom set up a playdate with Ice, some videos of her singing along to Spice’s songs have begun a discourse amongst the internet, pointing out that the lyrics are not an appropriate bop for a 9-year-old to sing along to. And that brought out an old video of Kanye saying that his daughter shouldn’t be on TikTok. And that made some type words they thought they’d never type: Kanye was righ-… No, I still can’t bring myself to type that.