Bill Clinton Is Sick In The Hospital, But Not With COVID

Former President Bill Clinton is currently in the hospital in the intensive care unit, which is never good, and he’s got an infection. But before you start wondering who Bill has been getting within six feet of and sharing airborne droplets with, or if he’s one of those oldies who can’t seem to ever get his mask over his nose, his doctors would like everyone to know that he definitely isn’t sick with COVID-19.

75-year-old William Jefferson is actually sick with a UTI (the jokes write themselves), according to his doctors. His doctors are really just pulling the curtain back on Bill’s chart like that? I’m sure they had to get the ok from Bill first before they got so candid and honest. HIPAA be damned, it’s probably for the best that they didn’t keep this situation a secret. Think of all the shady side-eyes that would have been triggered had this news been broken by some hospital “source” ran to TMZ, telling them that Bill had a mysterious infection based in his crotch area that is making it a real bitch and a half for him every time he’s required to give a urine sample. Bill clearly didn’t want this to turn into a diagnosis: DRAMA, which is why they provided a statement about Bill’s trip to the ICU. via CNN:

“He was admitted to the ICU for close monitoring and administered IV antibiotics and fluids. He remains at the hospital for continuous monitoring,” according to a joint statement Thursday evening from Dr. Alpesh Amin, chair of medicine at UC Irvine Medical Center, and Dr. Lisa Bardack, Clinton’s personal primary physician. They said that Clinton was in the ICU for privacy and safety, not because he needs intensive care.

Clinton is in good spirits, talking to family and staff, and has been up and walking, according to both his doctors and his staff.

His doctors add that Bill, who is currently at the University of California Irvine Medical Center, is in “good spirits,” is talking to his family and staff, and that he’s responding really well to antibiotics. They expect he’ll be going home soon. Bill first went into the hospital on Tuesday after feeling like shit before a private event for his foundation. Hillary Clinton went to the event in his place for the both of them and then headed off to the hospital after it was over to be with her husband. CNN points out that UTI’s can be really common for older people, and there’s a risk the infection can spread through the bloodstream, so it’s important to get them hooked up to IV antibiotics, which Bill is reportedly currently on.

It’s not known for sure when Bill will be released from the hospital. CNN says that he’s expected to be taken off IV drugs today and replaced with oral antibiotics. Let’s hope he’s released soon. They say Bill’s getting back to normal, which means Hillary Clinton’s ears are probably perked up, waiting to catch him asking a nurse: “Are you the one here to give me oral? Ha ha, just kidding. Speaking of ICU, can ICU later for a crappy cafeteria coffee?”

Pic: Wenn.com