America Is Getting Its Own Version Of Eurovision

August 9, 2020 / Posted by:

In case you didn’t know, people in Europe have STRONG feelings about Eurovision. And people in the US have STRONG feelings about everything but Eurovision, so it’s a bit of a surprise to learn that an American version of the iconic annual song contest is in the works (but not too surprising because, after all, if there weren’t a minimum of 50 talent-based reality shows on the air, what else would moms watch?)

Past winners of Eurovision have included ABBA, Celine Dion, and Conchita Wurst. But I’m sure they’ll have nothing on Florida’s entry, which will probably just be a bunch of people whining about why they have to wear a mask while sitting on alligators.

Variety is reporting that an American remake of Eurovision is in the works and it hopes to capitalize on the massive audiences in Europe that have tuned in for over 60 years. Eurovision’s grand finale typically draws in 200 million viewers. Your basic-ass American Idol and Dancing with the Nobodies could NEVER. According to the same source, the rundown of how the revamped show will look reads as follows:

“The American Song Contest” will remain similar to the European version. Professional musical artists — solo singers, duos or groups up to six members — from each of the 50 states and across every musical genre will perform all original songs on the live televised event.

The format, as it is currently conceived, will position the artists head-to-head against other states’ representatives in a series of televised qualifier competitions, leading to semi-finals and the ultimate primetime Grand Finale March Madness-style.

Apparently, juries comprised of professionals from all backgrounds and genres of music will help pick the top talent from each state, but the ultimate winner will be voted on by the public.

TV exec Ben Silverman, who in the past has imported other European programs like The Office, Big Brother, and The Weakest Link will serve as executive producer. Coincidentally, I think those are the only three shows in the history of television that actually did well after being Americanized (oh and, House of Cards, but we all know how that ended).

Meanwhile, another suit, Anders Lenhoff, who will also be a producer, had this to say about the incredibly original and unique show concept”

“When America is more fractionalized than ever and we are dealing with so many issues that divide us, the one [thing] that truly unites us is our culture. …  It can unite it by celebrating its diversity, its distinctions and in pulling everyone around its love of music and its love of song.”

If I’m understanding correctly, Anders thinks that what truly unites America is its culture….so he’s thrown together a ripped-off version of some distinctly European culture. Okay, got it.

Meanwhile, I hope these executives are still spit-balling names because OOF… American Song Contest? That could not sound anymore like a cheap, discount musical rip-off. In fact, I think “American Song Contest” was actually shortened from its full name: “American Song Contest Make Good Singing Show.”

No concrete dates have been released, but Amerivision is set to debut some time during the 2021 holiday season. While you wait, here’s a taste of the glamour, talent, and theatricality that America wishes it will be able to bring (it won’t)!


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