Category: Don’t Eat That

Open Post: Hosted By A Possibly Single Taylor Swift Choking On A Bug

June 5, 2023 / Posted by:

Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour has been a magical, religious experience for many of her obsessive fans, but some of the shows haven’t been without their hiccups. A few weeks ago, a trap door Taylor was supposed to dive into didn’t open on time. And Last night during her Chicago show, she had two viral moments when her faulty mic wouldn’t work, AND she choked and sputtered after swallowing a bug. But one repulsive thing Taylor won’t have in her mouth anymore? “Fucking slack-jawed fuckwitMatty Healy! Because Taylor and Matty (Tatty?) have reportedly called it quits.

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Open Post: Hosted By The FDA’s Warning About The Dangers Of NyQuil-Marinated Chicken

September 20, 2022 / Posted by:

Despite Chef Pii, the mastermind of Pink Sauce, not knowing what the acronym “FDA” stands for or what they do, the agency’s plate has been full of disgusting TikTok food lately–including her questionable condiment that probably wasn’t safe for consumption before its recent journey to legitimacy. Like Whac-A-Mole, when one stupid food viral trend dissipates another arrives, and this time the Food & Drug Administration has had to step in to warn against the cooking and eating of chicken breasts marinated in NyQuil. The recipe’s called “Sleepy Chicken” or “NyQuil Chicken,” and while it’s definitely been cooked by someone on TikTok to get a reaction, it’s unclear if anyone has been dumb enough to actually eat it to sleep, perchance to robotrip.

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Open Post: Hosted By Stephen King’s Horrifying Microwaved Salmon Recipe

April 22, 2022 / Posted by:

Unlike his fish, Stephen King is getting roasted on Twitter for his dinner suggestion that you take “a nice salmon filet,” wrap in it a damp paper towel and microwave it for 3 minutes. Look, Stephen has written some pretty fucked up shit over the course of his career, but I would rather get in a time machine and go back to 1984 and read Pet Semetary by the tiny sliver of moonlight that crept into my cabin at summer camp again, than ever have to imagine what Stephen’s house smells like. But it’s too late for all that. Add Stephen’s imagined microwaved salmon funk to the image of Gage’s corpse in his little burial suit to the list of things I’ll never forgive him for.

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