Category: SANS FARDS

Gwyneth Paltrow Thinks She’s A Little Bit Of A Tomboy Because She’s Not Totally Into Makeup 

April 28, 2020 / Posted by:

Gwyneth Paltrow is multi-faceted. She’s a feminist mogul who can fill a room with the smell of her vagina and bring out the snob in people. And she’s also a tomboy! While talking to People magazine for their Beautiful Issue, Goopy says that she loves going “makeup-free,” which she’s made part of her brand. And according to Gwyneth, that makes her a little bit of a tomboy.

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Open Post: Hosted By Gwyneth Paltrow’s “Makeup Free” Celebrity Dinner Party

February 20, 2020 / Posted by:

Entertainment Tonight says that Gwyneth Paltrow decided to scroll through her cleric-cleansed diamond rolodex and find the numbers of her favorite celebrity girlfriends. She then called them over for an “intimate” dinner featuring professional photography. But there was a catch: They had to come SANS FARDS! Leave the makeup at home, ladies! Gwyneth wanted to see the real you! And let me tell you, these women are definitely pulling off the no-makeup makeup look, but ain’t none of them make-up free.

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Alicia Keys Went SANS FARDS(ish) Again Last Night

August 29, 2016 / Posted by:

MTV was really taking a risk by having everyone walk into the VMAs on a white carpet instead of a red one. It was an award show shot in HD, which means it wasn’t a shock to see some people strolling in with their faces covered in a 1/4 inch thick layer of foundation, concealer, powder, the shadow from 6 Morphe eye palettes, 18oz of lipstick, and an entire bottle of setting spray. There’s no way MTV would have gotten their damage deposit back if someone like Kim Kardashian were to trip and land face-first on that carpet. If Kim left a makeup imprint of her face on that carpet, you know the first thing she would have done was had it sent to her mom’s house with a note that said: “Possible $$$ opportunity. Call the rug from Aladdin and set up a camera.

Thankfully MTV didn’t have to worry about any of that when Alicia Keys hit the white carpet, because her face was au naturel….kind of.

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Mila Kunis Kind Of Joins The Ranks Of The SANS FARDS Army

July 6, 2016 / Posted by:

The latest issue of Glamour features Mila Kunis saying “bye, bitch” to, as the English call it, slap. For us Americans, that’s makeup. I personally don’t wear makeup, but it’s six billion degrees with 500% humidity today in New York, so I’m going to point every woman I see wearing makeup to the newsstand because there’s no reason to suffer through this heat with a full face.

The sans fards selling point is a bit of a wash in the issue itself. Mila is done up for the cover and inside spread, but she’s working an Alicia Keys-approved #nomakeup look on the back cover. There’s also an “undone-beauty guide” in the magazine. Which is kind of like your parents promising you Six Flags and then taking you to Rye Playland, aka LIES. But they do let Mila push her “I’m normal and chill” schtick.

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Alicia Keys Went SANS FARDS On The BET Awards Red Carpet

June 27, 2016 / Posted by:

During a recent Lenny Letter essay titled Time to Uncover, Alicia Keys wrote about how she was taking a break from makeup because she didn’t “want to cover up anymore.” Alicia is clearly very serious about the whole #nomakeup thing, because last night she sashayed onto the red carpet of the BET Awards in a face covered in nothing.

Alicia is one of the very lucky few who can do #nomakeup and still look like a human person. Her skin/eyes/mouth/eyebrows all look like what they’re supposed to. When I do no makeup, I look like something from a remake of Eraserhead by Harmony Korine. My mouth looks like a Biggest Loser before-and after of an awkward pink slug. My eyes like two puffy slits with creepy little see-through lashes. The two patchy hairlike skidmarks above my eyes that can barely be classified as eyebrows (my eyebrows truly bring shame to the Dlisted family). So, good for you for going without makeup, Alicia. And if she really wants to make it a permanent thing, I would volunteer to take any and all makeup she decides to get rid of. I very clearly need it.

Alicia also carried the low-maintenance theme into her ensemble as well.

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October 2, 2015 / Posted by:

Singer, sometimes actress, sometimes symbol of elegance and full-time body image talker Demi Lovato did a photo shoot for Vanity Fair earlier this week to promote her album Confident and when photographer Patrick Ecclesine showed up, she let him know that she had three rules:

1. Do not talk about that shady bitch Kathy Griffin!

2. Do not talk about that shady bitch Kathy Griffin!

3. Do not talk about that shady bitch Kathy Griffin!

No, Demi didn’t want to wear any clothes on her body, she didn’t want any makeup on her face and she said the words that’d make a Kartrashian scream in terror: No Photoshop! Demi’s great-granddaddy died the day before the shoot, so she had a major case of the sads, but told Patrick that life’s too short and her album is about “confidence” (in case you couldn’t tell by the title of it). So she took off them panties, slicked back that hair, popped that ass out and got natural. When someone I love dies, the last thing I’d want to do is pose ass crack naked in front of a camera, but we all grieve differently.

Demi says in a video interview about the shoot that she didn’t think she’d ever be in a place where she’d be comfortable with posing in the raw:

“In the past, I suffered from eating disorders and I basically went from hating every single inch of my body to working on myself and trying to figure out ways to love myself, love the skin that I’m in. I learned, after working very hard on my spirituality and my soul and my body, that you can get to a place where you love the skin you’re in. And I’m excited to share that with the world.”

I know what people mean when they say to “love the skin you’re in,” but whenever they say it, I picture Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs smiling a creepy smile while wearing the suit he made with the skins of his victims. Aaaand on that note, here’s Demi serving up an A++ eyebrow game and un-Photoshopped nalgas in Vanity Fair.


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