Category: I’m Shocked!

The Queen’s Official Cause Of Death Is “Old Age”

September 29, 2022 / Posted by:

It’s been three weeks since THE QUEEN passed away at age 96, and the cause of death is finally in: she ODed on tea and crumpets! Just joshin’, Lizzie actually passed away due to “old age,” same as her husband Prince Philip. People reports that the National Records of Scotland published this extremely shocking info in a document released today. Official time of death? 3:10 pm. So, if you popped a baby outta your cooch on September 8 at 3:11 PM (Greenwich Mean Time), congratulations! There’s a very good chance you’ll be raising a reincarnated royal.

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Lindsay Lohan Is Already Acting Difficult On The Set Of “The Masked Singer: Australia”

July 25, 2019 / Posted by:

After it was announced that Lindsay Lohan had secured a gig as a judge on The Masked Singer: Australia, I was eagerly anticipating all the “sources” that would be spilling the juicy details about her messy on-set antics. It was truly my Christmas. But never did I imagine that the first story of Lindsay being a mess would come directly from the mouth of one of her fellow judges.

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Lindsay Lohan Got A Real Acting Job

June 12, 2017 / Posted by:

The unthinkable has happened today: Lindsay Lohan got an acting job in something that people might actually see. According to Variety, Lindsay has joined the second season of the British comedy series Sick Note. The show, whose first season premieres on Sky in the fall, stars Rupert Grint as an insurance rep who is misdiagnosed with a terminal illness and decides to hide the misdiagnosis from everyone.

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Aaron Rodgers Dumped Olivia Munn Because His Family Couldn’t Stand Her

April 13, 2017 / Posted by:

Aaron Rodgers and Olivia Munn called it quits last week. During their three year long relationship, there have been many stories about how his family couldn’t stand her ass. When Aaron and Olivia announced they were done, they released a statement saying they had amicably ended it. Well shock of all shocks, several sources have spilled the details to UsWeekly, and those sources are rolling their eyes at the whole amicable angle.

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Justin Bieber Is Also Being Investigated For Allegedly Headbutting Someone

February 16, 2017 / Posted by:

Earlier we found out that police in Cleveland are investigating Justin Bieber for allegedly delivering a concussion-causing beatdown back in June. And now TMZ is saying that he’s currently being investigated for allegedly headbutting someone at a restaurant last weekend. It’s like he’s on a mission to disprove the stereotype that Canadians are a polite, peace-loving people.

Bieber’s latest alleged assault antics happened at around 2am last Saturday in West Hollywood. While at a pre-Grammys party that was hosted by his friend Poo Bear, Bieber was play fighting with Kyle Massey. Poo Bear? Corey from That’s So Raven? You know you’re not exactly hanging with a hard crew when it sounds like it was assembled by Mickey Mouse. Anyway, Bieber noticed that someone from the restaurant staff was recording their play fight. And we all know he doesn’t like that. A pissed-off Bieber demanded he delete the video, and that in turn caused more people to hit record on their cameras. Justin allegedly then lunged at one of the people and headbutted them.

On the bright side, Justin Bieber doesn’t have a brain, so I doubt he caused that much damage. Getting hit with something hollow tends not to hurt as much.

The police were called after the incident, but Bieber was gone by the time they arrived. The alleged victim doesn’t want to press charges, but the police are still investigating.

Justin Bieber has just about covered all his assault bases. He’s used his arms for throwing (both punches and eggs), his mouth for spitting (both words and actual spit), and now he’s headbutting people. He’s like a one-man Street Fighter game. The next thing you know he’ll be firing a surge of shitty energy out of his hands. Ha-douche-en!

Pic: Instagram

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