Category: Prince Charles
Prince Charles Flew In A Private Jet To Give A Speech About Climate Change In Switzerland
It’s no secret that the British press loved to pick apart every single thing Meghan Markle does. So it was really easy for the British press to drag Meghan and Prince Harry when they took back-to-back private jets for a couple family vacations. Especially since Harry and Meghan say they care about the planet. Prince Charles is no doubt wishing Harry and Meghan were back in the royal family circle. Because Prince Charles is now the one getting dragged for flying private to a climate change event. Gosh, it’s so much easier to get away with private jet travel when you’re not usually the one the press is holding a hypocritical magnifying glass over.
THE QUEEN Will Let Prince Hot Ginge And Duchess Meghan Step Down From Being Full-Time Royals
THE QUEEN hosted the SUSSEXODUS summit at Sandringham Estate today to figure out what in the shit the royal family is going to do about Prince Hot Ginge and Duchess Meghan quitting as full-time royals to be bi-continent (I know that doesn’t totally work, but just give it to me, because I wanted to write that PHG is bi-something) and make their own money. I was hoping that THE QUEEN’s emergency meeting would be live-streamed and made up of her telling PHG that they’re going to settle everything with a dance-off, and yes, she’d win as soon as she dropped it low and twerked it on the throne. It wasn’t live-streamed, but THE QUEEN did put out a statement letting us know that she wishes “Harry and Meghan” would stay on as full-time royals, but she understands (uh huh) and already triple-slapped PHG down with her glove for making her do actual fucking work! No, she didn’t say that last line, but that probably happened.
Prince Hot Ginge Is Going To Get It From THE QUEEN For Announcing That He’s Quitting His Job As A Full-Time Royal!
In that picture from 2018, we all thought that Duchess Meghan was smiling at whatever was happening in front of her, but now we know she was smiling while thinking, “These royal hos have no idea that I’m going to pull a Yoko Ono on their asses!”
British tabloids editors who were still hungover and worn out from the holiday break got an electric jolt to the ass yesterday when Prince Hot Ginge and Duchess Meghan brought on SUSSEXODUS (copyright: Twitter), or Megxit, depending on what nickname you’re into (I prefer SUSSEXODUS since it sounds like the clothing-optional Caribbean resort that PHG will open now that he’s a part-time peasant). PHG and Meghan announced out of nowhere that they’re going to be part-time royals, and while their allegiance is to THE QUEEN, they want to do their own thing. Prince Hot Ginge (or should I just call him Hot Ginge now?) and Duchess Meghan’s announcement apparently made THE QUEEN spit out her gin, and anyone who causes her to waste gin is fucked! Well, anyone except for Prince Andrew. She’d just delicately pat Andy Boo Boo on the bald spot while telling him it’s all okay.
Queen Elizabeth Might Retire In The Next Two Years
Queen Elizabeth is 93 years old, and she’s still out there working (that picture of Liz above is at the opening the Royal Philatelic Society yesterday). It may seem like Queen Elizabeth is the type who will still be up and waving well into her 100s, but a recent report published by Express UK hypothesizes that she’s ready to retire and pass the crown onto Prince Charles.
Prince William Might Have Also Helped Push Prince Andrew Out
We continue to learn more about Prince Andrew’s exit from his professional duties at Buckingham Palace after the Royal Family finally clued in and realized that, hey, maybe this guy is bad for the family brand. And while we still don’t know if anyone whispered, “Don’t let the door hit your arse on the way out, your majesty” as palace guards escorted him out of his office. But we do know more about the alleged team that made it all happen. According to sources that recently spoke with People magazine, three generations of first-born royals were involved in Operation Bye Bye Andy.
Prince Andrew Might Have Actually Been Fired By Queen Elizabeth
Prince Andrew continues to guarantee extended job security for the writing room of The Crown, as the situation surrounding his choice to step away from his royal duties has gotten a little more scandalous. It now involves a source claiming Andrew didn’t step away, so much as he was aggressively pushed out by Queen Elizabeth, while Prince Charles propped the door open with his foot.