Prince Hot Ginge Is Going To Get It From THE QUEEN For Announcing That He’s Quitting His Job As A Full-Time Royal!
In that picture from 2018, we all thought that Duchess Meghan was smiling at whatever was happening in front of her, but now we know she was smiling while thinking, “These royal hos have no idea that I’m going to pull a Yoko Ono on their asses!”
British tabloids editors who were still hungover and worn out from the holiday break got an electric jolt to the ass yesterday when Prince Hot Ginge and Duchess Meghan brought on SUSSEXODUS (copyright: Twitter), or Megxit, depending on what nickname you’re into (I prefer SUSSEXODUS since it sounds like the clothing-optional Caribbean resort that PHG will open now that he’s a part-time peasant). PHG and Meghan announced out of nowhere that they’re going to be part-time royals, and while their allegiance is to THE QUEEN, they want to do their own thing. Prince Hot Ginge (or should I just call him Hot Ginge now?) and Duchess Meghan’s announcement apparently made THE QUEEN spit out her gin, and anyone who causes her to waste gin is fucked! Well, anyone except for Prince Andrew. She’d just delicately pat Andy Boo Boo on the bald spot while telling him it’s all okay.
After the SuckIts dropped a royal Inetta on Instagram, they updated their website with a long wish list stating how they want their lives to look moving forward. It seems like they want to straddle two worlds with one foot in rich peasant life and the other foot in royal life. akjdsfkjn sadf8ndasfdsaf 8asdfasdfadsdfsa Sorry, that was just me getting the vapors from picturing PHG straddling anything.
PHG and Meghan will no longer take taxpayers’ money (although, they say they get only 5% from the Sovereign Grant) since they want to pursue their own job$$$$. They will also freeze out the UK press, and plan to split their time between North America (probably Canada and maybe Los Angeles) and Frogmore Cottage at Windsor. But the thing about Frogmore Cottage is that THE QUEEN owns it, and she doesn’t seem amused by their announcement, so you might see pap pics of PHG, Meghan, and Archie sitting on the curb after they get evicted. Buckingham Palace made it clear in their statement that they were blindsided by the announcement and said they were in “early talks” with the SuckIts. PHG reportedly had a talk with his grandma at Sandringham about his family’s plans, but Lainey says she didn’t know they were going to go public with their plans until 15 minutes before it went public.
The Evening Standard says that PHG talked to his dad Prince Charles before Christmas about spending much more time in Canada and Meghan’s homeland of Southern California. Charles asked for a more detailed plan. PHG handed Charles a plan shortly after the New Year but was told it’d take time to work out the details and funding. While it was reported that PHG talked to THE QUEEN, The Evening Standard says that meeting never happened, because while THE QUEEN was happy to meet with PHG, she wanted him to work out the details with Charles before the plan graced her eyeballs. She also made it clear that PHG and Meghan should not go public with their plans just yet. But PHG and Meghan defied THE QUEEN. Charles and Prince William reportedly only saw their plan 10 minutes before we saw it. A source says that THE QUEEN is pissed and will get revenge!
Another member of the royal household told the Standard: “This hasn’t been properly thought through.
“It is an incredibly self-indulgent and the way they made this announcement showed little or no respect to the Queen or the Prince of Wales who have been given a lifetime of service to the Crown. It is shocking, just shocking behaviour.”
Senior courtiers have warned that “Harry and Meghan will be punished for this”.
There’s reportedly a zillion details that have yet to be worked out, like how will they deal with the security situation and with the backlash PHG and Meghan are getting for not wanting to be royals anymore but using their titles to make big money for speaking engagements, etc… They also have to work with the governments of the places (Canada and/or Los Angeles) where they plan to partly live. Also, the details of their new roles in the royal family need to be worked out.
A source tells People that THE QUEEN, Prince Charles, and Prince William, will hold an emergency meeting with their staff to figure out what the hell they’re going to do.
“The Queen, the Prince of Wales, and the Duke of Cambridge have directed their teams to work at pace with governments and the Sussexes’s office to find workable solutions and this is expected to take days, not weeks. This has moved from shock and a range of emotions to something more constructive,” the source adds. “It is complicated. This is happening very quickly. And the proof in that is the fact that this will take days and not weeks. People are trying to work fast through these complicated issues in order to find something that works for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.”
Us Weekly is hearing from a source (Thomas Markle, probably) that Meghan is the captain of Operation: Making Morrissey’s Dreams Come True.
“Meghan is definitely leading the charge on this,” the source explains, noting that the 38-year-old former actress “doesn’t have a lot of ties to Kensington Palace, the people or the other royals” in London.
See, if only PHG was born gay and married me. This would’ve never happened! I’m way too lazy and stupid to bring down the royal family with a scheme that involves lots of meetings, boring paperwork, conference calls (THE WORST), and numbers and stuff. I’d bring down the royal family Marie Antoinette-style by spending all their money on more frivolous shit, leaving them broke.
And if PHG is going to leave the royal family, he should leave with not even the clothes on his back! Yes, I’m only saying that so we can get paps shots of a naked PHG walking to TOPMAN to buy peasant clothes.
Pic: Wenn.com