Category: The National Enquirer
The National Enquirer Live! Theme Park Opened A Princess Diana’s Death Attraction
It seemed like Whitney Houston had the title of “Most Disrespected Dead Celebrity” on lock this week when plans to put her digital image on tour were revealed almost simultaneously with the revelation that Kanye West was making Pusha T use that infamous pic of Whitney’s druggy bathroom as an album cover. Well, The National Enquirer Live! Theme Park clocked this, said “hold my beer,” and announced that they’re opening an attraction based on Princess Diana’s untimely death. Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor just turned around and tried to climb back up in Duchess Meghan in disgust at this tacky-ass world.
Jeff Bezos’ Dick Pics Cost The National Enquirer $200,000
That’s a low ass sum since the gold nut nuggets that Jeff Bezos’ jizzes out are worth twice as much as that.
We already know that Lauren Sanchez’s Trump-loving brother Michael Sanchez is probably the one who sold his sister’s cringeworthy sexts (although, aren’t all sexts cringeworthy?) with Amazon billionaire Jeff Bezos to The National Enquirer. But now the Wall Street Journal says that Michael Sanchez did Lauren dirty (just call him Dirty Sanchez) for the price of $200,000. Sure, $200,000 is $200,000, but I’m wondering if Michael Sanchez ever strolled over to the billionaire turtle and said, “So, future-brother-in-law, the Enquirer offered me 200k for those pics of your dick, but my finger could find its way to the delete button if you just so happen to cough a diamond into my palm. I mean that literally, I just watched you cough diamonds into your cashmere handkerchief.”
Terry Crews Says That American Media Inc. Tried To Blackmail Him, Too
Does AMI have a blackmail department in their building? Maybe somewhere between human resources and accounting? Sounds like because, along with Amazon billionaire Jeff Bezos and crusading celebrity journalist Ronan Farrow, Terry Crews is claiming that The National Enquirer’s parent company tried to blackmail him, too.