I feel like Prince Harry and Meghan Markle kind of fucked up by first pretending they wanted to be philanthropists when what they really wanted to was to live the quiet life as humble publicity farmers who also happen to be Hollywood royalty. Now they are saddled with the burden of having to give everything they do an air of charity instead of being able to really just go for it. According to Us Weekly, Harry has been harboring “a creative streak” which Meghan inspired him to “take to the next level.” Now Harry’s “determined to make it in Hollywood, just as much as Meghan” but instead of running off to audition for a role on the upcoming season of Grey’s Anatomy as a hot new doc with a complicated past, he’s “focusing on making documentaries connected to good causes,” to which I say BOO! Give Harry a lab coat and clipboard and watch him soar!
Not long after it was revealed that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle high-tailed it out of Los Angeles and moved to Montecito, CA, people started getting suspicious about who paid for their new mansion, considering they’re still making payments on their last home. The Daily Mail claimed that Prince Harry’s dad Prince Charles covered a portion of the $14.6 million price tag. But a source who recently spoke to Us Weekly says Harry and Meghan paid for it entirely on their own with no help from Papa Chuck.
As the never-ending saga that is Meghan Markle and Prince Harry (and what they actually do now that they threw up deuces at the idea of being royalty forever) continues, we’re still managing to catch a few more glimpses into their no-longer-public-life. And this time, Meghan is spilling her thoughts on how moving back to America amid quarantine and the general dumpster fire situation, Harry has clearly had his fill of avocados and sunburns because he apparently hates everything about Los Angeles and couldn’t wait to take his ass to Montecito instead.
Prince Hot Ginge and Meghan Markle can now easily skip on over to Oprah’s humble abode or Ellen DeGeneres’ little seaside shack (that’s if they want to contort their faces into an awkward smile while catching Ellen scorching a gardener’s face with her flaming words of rage for her grass being 1/10th of an inch too long) to borrow a cup of caviar or diamonds, or whatever rich people borrow from each other because they have permanently moved to the Santa Barbara area in California. And yes, I’m resisting the urge to Google, “Is the Whole Foods in Santa Barbara hiring a bagger?” so that I can finally say that I once bagged PHG’s organic eggplant.
The world found out that Meghan Markle was pregnant with Prince Harry’s baby on October 15th, 2018, with an official royal announcement from Kensington Palace. Except that’s reportedly not the day everyone found out. There was a rumor going around at the time that three days before the official announcement, Meghan dropped her new baby news to everyone at Princess Eugenie’s wedding to that Brooksbank dude. Sources quickly quieted that rumor, saying that Meghan and Harry actually told the royal family that Meghan was pregnant several days before Eugenie’s wedding. But according to the ten-millionth published excerpt from Finding Freedom (a bunch of which I’ll get into after the cut), the first rumor was allegedly the accurate one.
Prince Harry’s Childhood Best Friend Reportedly Got Iced Out For Raising Concerns About Meghan Markle
When Prince Harry got married to Meghan Markle in May 2018, he chose his older brother Prince William as his best man. Since then, we’ve learned that the title of “best man” might have been a little misleading. Harry himself has admitted that he and his brother have a bit of a de Havilland/Fontaine thing going on. So William might have just been the best human option that identifies as a man. Because now we’re learning that Harry probably didn’t have an Option B-FF, if you will. The Telegraph has published a new excerpt from Finding Freedom, the unauthorized tell-all about Harry and Meghan. In it, The Telegraph reports that Harry temporarily stopped answering calls from his childhood best friend after his friend suggested to Harry that he move in with Meghan before putting a ring on it.